Disappearing Grads?

Hey to you too - love your avatar - I'm just coming back around to Grads - trying to get back on track and follow some of your great advice to just eat right and have a healthy mind and body..... D

didn't even notice that was you up further on this page without your blue girl....I miss her.... D

I joined and i am not kicked off.

I am here but very disgruntled.  Being a member of this site for SEVEN years and a post op of SIX years... I have never seen such moderation and banning as ever before.  I miss the oldies and I lurk on the other board.  I am ashamed to say that I fear being banned HERE for posting over there.  I lurk both places everyday.  I really don't feel at home at either place.  I probably HUG too much for the other place but other ways too BLUNT for this place.  Living in fear is not a pleasant feeling.  I really miss the good 'ole days.   Hell.. *I* was one of the FIRST moderators in the chat room in the year 2000 and I did NOT abuse that power.  There were MANY people I didn't care for but I only kicked them out for blatant violations and that was AFTER they received VERY kind warnings.   I mean.. where is Janine Johnson?  I was here when there was a bunch of "moo's" like "mali-moo" "lynniemoo," and Darcie Leigh, etc.  Also Caroline Martin was a great one who shared her drastic plastic surgery pictures, etc.  We were a FAMILY.. GOOD AND BAD.  If we didn't like something, we skipped over it.  Heck.. the way the message boards moved where you could only see the recent post... by the time **** hit the fan, it was already on page 20 and too much trouble to scroll through.  I really miss Debbie  "love your guts."  She has a lost to post about too because she has chronic seizures and strokes after surgery.  I can't remember her new last name though and she probably lost her profile anyways due to the profile updates.  It's just sad.     Anyways.. I still lurk and will respond to a post or two about kinked bowels and the oddities that seem to happen to me and a handfull of people from time to time. I have stayed silent on a lot of things but I can only bite my tongue for so long.   HUGS.... Dana  EDITED TO ADD:  I even met my now ex-husband on this site in the chat room.  We were the first couple to meet and marry on the site.  We were known as "Dana and David" and well... that didn't work out but it is still good memories of how the site was.  I still hold it special in my heart that I can just about remember EVERYONE's first time on the site.  I remember when Dx was new.. I remember when Amy was new, I remember when Lei was new. Ditto for JoAnn, Melissa Mermaid, Jane, Sally Simatos and Momma Angel (may they rest in peace :-(..).  There were just a few people that preceeded me and that was Mariella (MB or Quinn's mom) and Vitalady (Michelle Curran) and I learned VALUABLE things from them!!!!!!!!  How in the world can the 1-2 year people learn from grads that are 3,4,5,6,7 and 10 years out, if we don't feel welcome to tell it like it is?????????????? I mean, I can be the queen of polyanna's because I don't like to dwell on the negative and being southern I was taught, "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, then don't say  anything at all..." HOWEVER..... I will tell some things that post-ops need to hear, even if they don't like the answer.  We can't ALL give positive, fluffy, feel-good answers.  Sometimes we need a kick in the butt!!!!!!! Even Michelle Curran stopped hanging out on the main boards and posts exclusively at the Question and Answer part of the site now.   Just sad... I wish things can go back to being the same.  Dana

Hello Gorgeous! You know how I feel about everything. I was never a "wave-maker" but when my friends started dissapearing it came obvious to me that we as "grads" were slowly but surely being weeded out to make room for a "new breed" of WLS'ers. Ones' who are happy eating ice cream at 3 weeks out and proud of the fact they ate a Whole Cheeseburger at McDonald's on the way home from the hospital. I've been here since 2001 and stayed even while I fought my insurance battle. Yes, some of us disagreed with each other but we could easily skip over topics and forget about it. Now, if you disagree with anyone it's "off with your heads". How are people supposed to get good info if they would rather listen to a new post-op than a "old-timer". I feel as if my advice falls on deaf ears. It saddens me, yet at the same time I feel ok with moving on to another place.  I miss the old folks who inspired me. While I waded through my insurance nightmare trying to get surgery, they were the ones that kept me going and told me not to give up. when Lei got banned, it was the last straw for me. Why? Why is this happeneing. I could tell you "who" is doing it, but then I would go "poof". I talk to the Higher ups here. I made my message pretty clear about how I feel. It probably fell on deaf ears but since then I noticed that there has been a slow down on the bannings. I was moderated for awhile too. Me, Moderated? I'm mostly sweet with a little redhead thrown in but I've never done anything to anyone. Ridiculous.

One question? Just what is a grad? Sorry to invade your turf but I was wondering. At 13 mths out doe I qualify or is it a mindset? If mindset I clearly don't as I have never progressed from the protien shake stage? Doug.

Since I'm calling myself a grad [though not yet a treasured one] then you are too!  Good luck with your surgery tomorrow!

Thanks Grouchetta. It sould be a snap. Since it is being done lap. Take care. Doug.