why do i feel so sad?

Man, have i been feeling blue! I think it is a combination of everything. I am finally feeling well enough, alive enough to be sad i guess. On 12/8/06 21 months post op, I had an abdominoplasty, gallbladder removal , hysterectomy and hernia repair. My gallbladder ruptured during surgery, landing me in the hospital for 7 weeks. I was certain I would die, but the good Lord carried me through. I had a second surgery  d/t infection 12/28/06 that ruined my self paid abdominoplasty!!!! I am unhappy, as my muscles are loose, I have butt cheeks on my tummy now and a rail road incisional scar! My boobs are flab and barely an A cup and you know after my ordeal, I'm not having another surgery for breast implants.  I lost down to 130 and now i  am again 143. I gained 1 lb a day for the last 4 days!!! I have been off work for 4 months and now I am about to return. I just feel so sad! I don't want to feel this way, I take my anti-depressant ,I am excersising again, but i just can't beat the blue. I should be so grateful to God, yet i haven't even given him the time or praise he deserves. Well thanks for listening. Melinda

Melinda, you have been through an awful lot of serious surgeries recently. Give your self some time and if you don't start feeling better talk with your doctor about trying another antidepressant and maybe seek out some counselling. I pray that things will start  to get better for you soon. Sher

Oh Melinda, You've been thru quite an ordeal. Give yourself some time~things will get better! If your meds aren't working you might need to consider trying something else to see if that helps. You're in my prayers! Tracy B

Melinda:  You have been through quite an ordeal.  Your whole life and routine has been disrupted.  It's no wonder you are feeling badly.  Like the others said, give yourself some more time.  Perhaps returning to work and getting back into a more "normal" routine will also help.  Don't hesitate to ask your doc to see if your meds to be adjusted as well.  Maybe everything you've gone through has caused some changes in your system, and your meds may need to be tweaked a bit.  Best wishes, and hang in there! Carlita

Melinda, After my GBP 5.5 years ago I had numerous serious issues, from bilateral Pulmonary Embolism (both lungs) to galbladder, 2 bowel obstructions... The time spent trying to focus on staying alive seemed to drain me from having emotional strength to "be hopeful".  Make sense?  Not being a physician I don't know the "medical" reason for the blues many feel after such physical trauma, but I do know it seems so common.  You're not alone - even if you feel like it - and when the "easy way" seems to be to clam up and turn to "food". It was during my physical "challenges" that I learned to open up with those who God had placed around me and share my inexplicable sadness.   That's when I felt Him "carry the load"  (through loved ones too) and showed me I didn't have to be strong - he was carrying me and provided family & precious friends to help me cope until I was strong enough emotionally to return the favor! Now you need support more than ever - I'll be praying that you "rest in Him"  as you heal:  physically and emotionally!

Well said Judy.  I don't know what your personal faith beliefs are but  like Judy, I truly believe that God is there in the midst of your anguish, frustration, and even your depression.  Please reach out to Him and I know you will find comfort.  In spite of all the awful things that you have been through, please try to find something positive that is also part of this experience -- there must be something.  Maybe a new friend, a single kindness shown you, something that made you smile even.  If you can try to focus on that when you are feeling overwhelmed it will give you some peace.    In my life when I have felt the lowest, I have found that if I focus on God and spend my time and attention helping someone less fortunate I don't have time to think about what is causing me to be emotionally distressed.  Before too long, my issues seem small and I am able to come up out of the darktime. I also believe that you should see your doctor to ensure that all your labs are OK as a chemical inbalance can certainly cause depression.  I will keep you in my prayers CathyA

Thanks to all you *****sponded. I too agree, that i need to focus on God and the good lessons learned through my ordeal. I seem to be feeling much better.  With love, Melinda

Hang in there, Melinda, you'll be starting to work again and will hopefully get more active to help you lose again.  Get back to the protein shakes or powder if you are able to do so yet.  I had gallbladder surgery and a hysterectomy years ago and I still remember the long recuperating period.  But it sounds like it's almost over and that you're on the mend now.  As for your body not looking perfect, think of how healthy you are in the 130's or 140's.  I had WLS in 12/05 and am at my goal weight.  But I still drink protein for two of my meals.  And I walk 4 miles every day.  Good luck to you. Janet

With the hysterectomy and the rest of the surgeries you may want to have your hormone levels checked by a doctor who is well versed in both sides of the argument Pro/Con.  Just a thought.