One Week at the gym working with PT. One woman's story

Dear Diary... For my 50th birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I was doing pretty well maintaining I had put a few pounds on.  I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer Named Joe, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress... MONDAY Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was Well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Joe waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Joe gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after Five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.. Very inspiring! Joey was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! TUESDAY I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Joe Made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Joey's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me. WEDNESDAY The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Joe was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other Club members.  His voice is a little early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Joe put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Joe told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too. THURSDAY Joe was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.  Joe took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the ladies room. He sent Muffy to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank. FRIDAY I hate that @#$%, Joe, more than any human being has ever hated any Other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without Unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Joe wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the **** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.  The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? SATURDAY Joe left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly Voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. SUNDAY I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I have been working with a personal trainer for more than a year now.  I hate excercise, but am learning to like/love weight training. It has definietely done wonders for my body.  One thing I want to point out to you is that most trainers would NEVER allow you to train 5 days in a row as it is too demanding on your body.  Most want you to wait at least a day beteween training sessions as you may be sore the day following a session and need the rest.  Please try training again, but try hiring a trainer from a professional training gym.  I have found that the service is very professional and the people there are there not to oggle the "meat" but to work out.  The trainers are also better quality.  Good luck.

Hey KB, This is a joke :-)  Someone knowing how much I workout and love exercise sent this to me.... It's just for fun, I am sorry you thought this was for real!!!! My trainer was a former body builder and he also turned me on to body building...  I just LOVE IT!! Congratulations to you for doing such a great job!!!! Take care, Kathy

Kathy, this is s-o-o-o what I needed this evening for a great laugh!  It's a hellacious week at work, and my relief each day has been getting outside in this gloriously warm, beautiful  (& uncharacateristic) weather we're having in IL and taking a long walk after work!  It's been a good change from going to the gym (even tho I'm feeling a little guilty about no weight training this week).  But I'm enjoying it anyway!   This was hilarious! Jo

Hi Jo, Sorry to hear it's been one of those weeks.  Oh do I relate!!!  Has the weather just been to die for?!!!  I spent so much time outside because I knew it was not going to last.... Don't worry about not doing your weights, you won't lose anything from missing one week.  Now that it's cold again you can get back to the gym and your weights. I am glad you enjoyed the little laugh for the day.  When I read this I was cracking up big time. Take care, Kathy

You are too funny.  I just sat here laughing my butt off.  MY daughter laughed just as hard.  thanks for making my day. Koukla

Hi Koukla, Anyone that has exercised ever can relate to this.  I just love the fact she was so in "love" with her good lookin trainer at first but by the end of the week he was a troll.....  When someone causes you pain it's funny how your perception of them change LOL Have a great day!!! Take care, Kathy

Thanks for a good laugh this morning. As I sit here waiting for curves to open this morning, I can relate.

Hi Nancy, You go girl!!!   Working out, eating right and taking care of your spirit is key to a full and happy life. Keep up the great workouts and I am glad you enjoyed the laugh!!! Take care, Kathy

Hi Kathy,  It's good to see you post again.  We've missed you on the PS board.  One thing is for sure you have never lost your incredible sense of humor.  When I started to read your post, I knew immediately it had to be a joke or you were definitely having an out of body experience.  We all know how much you love working out and how much inspiration you are to many here.  I hope all is well with you.  Joann