I can never let my weight loss guard down, can you?

This a great post, KB.  Thanks for starting it - all the responses so far are so good and honest.  It's so nice to be able to do that here!

I guess I'm a food addict, too.  My biggest problems are with sweets/chocolate.  It's funny, just yesterday, I decided to get "hold" of myself - track my eating on fitday.com, make sure I'm eating healthier, drink more water, you know - the whole nine yards.  Didn't I come into work to find someone had placed a large jar of chocolate truffles in our office kitchen, which is about 10 feet from my desk, unfortunately.  I had no control - well very little control anyway.  I ate 1-1/2 of those - someone had actually cut them in half to see what was inside!  That's not something I would ever concern myself with - if it's chocolate I'm going to love it.  So I just popped the first one in my mouth without worrying about what was inside.  The other half I ate had been cut up and had chocolate cream inside - wonderful!  I guess it was good that I at least didn't keep going to the jar.  It was incredibly difficult though.

OK, so the rest of the day's eating wasn't too bad, and I ate a salad with protein and a little seasoned rice for my dinner.  I went to my bowling league last night - that should be a pretty safe place right?  NOT!  It was someone's birthday, and there was a huge and lovely chocolate cake with white icing there for the celebration.  I didn't stand a chance, and of course, I ate a piece of that and it was awesome! So HOW DO WE overcome these temptations?  I have NEVER figured it out, so it remains a constant struggle and I guess it always will.  I honestly don't know how I kept from eating either more of the cake and/or the truffles, but I guess it was because I had "decided" to take control yesterday, and was feeling stronger.  I don't always feel stronger, though, and sometimes a whole day is blown, or a whole 2 days, or even more.  I guess the food addiction is winning at this point, since I have gained almost 30 pounds back since I was at my lowest post-WLS weight.  If I could have stopped the gain when I was around 170-175 (20 pounds ago) I would be happy, but I can't even figure out how to maintain let alone lose this excess. If anyone figures it out let me know.  The weirdest part is I know that 12-step programs work for addicts, and I have thought about OA different times, but I'm actually too afraid to try to commit to a life of complete abstinence.  I want to be able to eat just a little bit of it, so I don't have to say goodbye forever.  That's pretty sick, I guess, but it's the truth.  So I can't see myself becoming an OA member. Sorry for rambling.  Your post touched a nerve today. Carlita

I too like sweets, but never thought of myself as a sweet addict.  I am so wrong.  Today was someone's birthday (it always is at work) and people brought in cream cheese fruit tarts.  At least 3 of them.  I was in a panic about them.  I wanted them (all of them) so bad and kept fixating on them.  I would walk by the room they were in and "check" on them and thick about them. I had to take many deep breathes to calm down and refocus. Luckily, they were pretty quickly consumed andIi had NONE of them.  Events like that are really frustrating and shake me to my core.  i hope I have fewer of them as time goes on, you know?

I haven't even read the replies yet but had to answer your note. I AM YOU!!!!!!! i struggle daily with my demons yet can't identify them to beat them. My stomach is smaller but i still want to eat. I have managed to lose 268/264/195 surgery 10/06 but am so fearful of not being successful in the end. I haven't even told alot of people at work that i did it. Don't want everyone telling me what to do and monitoring what i do and don't eat. Yikes. Going to read the replies. Maybe someone had some insight for us.

I get told very often now how good I look and i am beginning to feel like a "normal" sized girl, BUT, I have never managed to fmaintain any weight I have lost in the past.  With the band, i think i have a better chance of staying thin, but I am SCARED to become the fat girl again.  I don't want to revert to my old habits and eat like a pig.  The hardest part of wls is MAINTAINANCE, not the weight loss part in my opinion.  Thanks to all of you who have read my post and understand this issue.  Good luck to us all.

I have to agree with you that maintenance is the scary, hard part! Obviously I have never been good at it or I wouldn't have ended up at 328lbs! Maybe that's why in my mind I keep tellling myself that I need to lose still~b/c I'm scared of maintenance mode. Although its been going well so far and I've been maintaining for several months now. My biggest fear is still that I will gain weight!

I have to agree with you.  I eep weighing myself daily in fear that something horrible (big weight gain) is going to happen or it will happen tomarrow.  I wonder if naturally thin people think this way?

Hi, I am new to the forum. I had RNY 1/05 and I imagine most if not all of us will/do struggle with the same thing. For me I never ate sugar-except fruit-after the surgery and didn't go back to greasy foods which really helped. But the constant preoccupation with food and eating is the problem. I never seem full and quickly after eating I want more food. I can't get a handle on this. I have not regained yet-other than 5 lbs which is likely part/all muscle-because I exercise like a freak which I credit with a good part of my success.  Despite getting to goal weight it is a daily struggle. I consume about 2500cal/day which is a ton of food when you eat plain oatmeal, fiber one cereal, 6-12servings fruit and vegs/day and lots of protein. And yet all I do is think about eating. The inner demons don't seem to go away. I feel like a normal person on the outside and an addict on the inside. It's just not normal to think about food all the time.

This is my first time back on this website in a long time.  I am 5 years post-rny surgery and the struggle has gotten worse for me.  In the first 2 years after my surgery I had 3, (2 very serious) intestinal blockages due to adhesions with additional surgeries and long recoveries.  Those 3 surgeries kicked me back to the beginning of my rny in terms of losing.   I developed some very bad habits as I ate what made me feel better and,  you guessed it, sweets made me feel better. I could eat what I wanted.  So I have gained 16 pounds in the last two years.  I'm hanging on by my fingernails.  The best thing for me is to me is to eat the same way each day.  Egg beaters with cheese for breakfast.  String cheese and low fat deli meat for lunch with a piece of fruit, and meat, fish or chicken with a salad or vegetable for dinner.   Fruit one piece each day.  I am less rigid on the weekend.  But I would never trade this experience for anything.  I am thankful every day for the chance to cross my legs, sit in a regular chair, and blend into the population.  My best moment was going to my high school reunion and having NOT ONE PERSON RECOGNIZE ME!!!  Thanks for listening,  Marilyn

I hope you are healthy now.  Only gaining 16 lb in 2 years is remarkable to me.  You are obviously working hard to stay thin.  God for you and good luck.