I hate my new body

Linda D.
on 3/5/07 8:26 am - St. Louis, MO
I hate having to go through surgery again.  WLS was my first and only surgery; I admit to being a whimp.  I hate pain.  Thanks for your advice; I have had one consult, but the cost is prohibitive right now. 
diananoreika
on 3/5/07 2:27 am - Parkville, MD
First let me say congrats on your loss. 9/17/03 I weighed 360 and maintain 200 it seems no matter what I do. I completely understand what you mean. I have the jello fruit cup legs too (I will be stealing that line now thank you hehe ). I have always had a little waist but huge legs & hips & now when I sit on the pottie (toilet) I look so small because all of the extras fall to the side. I paid cash for my RNY and dont really have the money or time off of work for a lower body lift. I did , however, go into my surgery knowing that skin wqs going to be a huge issue. I can honestly say that I would do the surgery again BUT I loved my body before, actually thought i looked liked a blown up barbie , really good proportions and Now I hate it..... I cry daily because my body is gross. I squeeze into jeans so it holds it all in  but shorts are never & I always wear sweetpants over my swimsuit. when I get into the pool you can actually put your entire hand & wrist into my leg & feel my muscles. I did have a consult with a Plastic surgeon and he says I need to have a debulkin (lipo) and then the lower body lift.  I guess his kid wants to go to Harvard :-) Just know you are not alone!!!  
Linda D.
on 3/5/07 8:30 am - St. Louis, MO
I think we had the same body pre-WLS.  I was in good proportion before and am now bottom heavy.  I hate the bumps on my hips/upper legs.   I wonder what size we'd be if we got rid of the extra skin?  I can squeeze into a smaller size if I fold my skin so there's a vertical fold--gross and not comfortable, but says something about what size it would be without the skin.
JMC
on 3/5/07 3:57 am - Ellicott City, MD

I am 3 years out and 175 pounds lighter and believe me, I hated the way I looked when the clothes came off.  I would try to shower in the dark because I didn't want to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  But I also suffered with rashes.  I have been married to the same guy for 34 years so he loved me at 312  pounds and didn't care about all the rolls of skin.  But my primary suggested to me one day as she wrote out yet another prescription for the rashes that I might want to look into at least a TT.  I hesitated but I figured, what did I have to lose. Because of the documentation from my primary and a letter from the PS, my insurance covered it.  I was shocked.  The results were so rewarding that I have since gone through two more rounds of PS on a self pay because I felt I needed to rid myself of the morbid obese shell I had been carrying around for decades.  I know it's expensive but I felt I needed to validate my weight loss success by going through with the PS.  I am now finished with all of that having just completed the last round almost 5 weeks ago and I am thrilled with the results.  It's not perfection.......but it's so much better than the way I used to look.  I believe I still have some pics on my profile if you want to check out this old grandmom.  But I know there are several ways people have been able to get PS for themselves.  Some get home equity loans; some borrow against 401K's.  I believe it's Capital One that has very low interest loans especially for plastic procedures.  If the skin really bothers you.....don't totally dismiss plastic surgery.  You may find a way to make it happen.  Good luck to you in your decision.  Joann

Linda D.
on 3/5/07 8:33 am - St. Louis, MO
Thanks for the advice.  PS seems like such a drastic step, but it's one I'mconsidering.  I'm worried about gaining weight back, too, since I'm not yet 2 years out and not near "normal" weight.
diananoreika
on 3/6/07 2:36 am - Parkville, MD
who did your PS? I am in Maryland also and am looking for someone with good WLS patient experience.
daniel patrick
on 3/5/07 5:04 am - Glen Burnie, MD

Just to let you know...this is not simply a problem for you ladies.  This is also an issue that men face.  I know for myself that I am not pleased with how I look.  With clothes on... I look great.  I am in a size 32 pant..a small shirt...etc.  However, I within these clothes are flabby flabs of fat.  If I had this removed... I could probably lose at least 20 more pounds.  Would that make me happy?  Who knows.  Plastic surgery...is definitely out.  I won't scar myself up...and I certainly can't afford it.  I am now (after 18 months) starting to work out...so who knows what I will become.  Needless to say...how we feel about ourselves...is our perception..whether right or wrong...it is us....  How do you learn to love yourself..after spending so many years..hating yourself?

Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!

Linda D.
on 3/5/07 8:36 am - St. Louis, MO
I learned to accept my fat body, but this one, I'm not so sure about.  I don't care about scars as much as I do about pain and the money!  I had not thought about the men on the other end; I hope things look up for you.  I've been working out since I was 4 months out.  I have tone, under the flab. 
Maryland
on 3/5/07 5:05 am - Rockville, MD
I so agree.  PS is expensive, but you can find ways to pay for it.  Don't give up.  And you can do it in stages -- do the breasts first, take a break, and then do the thighs.  Or do them all at once and get it over with.  You've come so far, it would be a shame not to get to where you are happy with your body. Getting a lap band - expensive Getting plastic surgery - even more expensive Being happy with what I see in the mirror for the first time in over 25 years - PRICELESS!
Maryland
on 3/5/07 5:07 am - Rockville, MD
NOTE:  I was responding to JMC's response above about using home equity loans, capital one, etc......
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