Keeping it a secret???

I kept in a secret.  It's been 6 years and the only people who know are family and a couple close friends who helped me during recovery. I have no problem not telling anyone.  My issue, my body..... Lisa

i have not told anyone but my husband and a few friends...he told his parents and i still havent told a single member of my family(bro ,sisters ,mom ,dad grandparets,) which was easy becuase we are military and i dont see them often at all so they didnt have a clue.  I still dont want to tell them because my mom and  other family members are very critical of me and  like to talk  and make fun or be little my decisions....ramblin...but i dont let anyone who doesnt need to know know.  I beleive it is my business.  i am going to my 20th class reunion and some of the comments i have received from the reunion website concereninig my pics is funny...i havent changed a bit in their eyes...which is not true at all they never got to see the extra 120 plus pounds on my body.  I am 18 months out and i can eat pretty normal and just smaller portions now so no one  else ever needs to know! jen

My advice to you if you decide to keep it a secret; keep it a secret. I only told my mother and my oldest brother and my boyfriend. I have six other sibilings and a father who have always been very critical of me and my weight so I only told the three people closest to me that I had a rny in 2003.  Well I have been very sucessful with my weight loss, I went from 282 pounds to 140-145 pounds. Thirty pounds below my goal weight. My bariatric surgeon was so "proud" of my accomplishment that he asked me to be in a bariatric calendar, which would be handed out to other bariatric patients.  Which I really didn't want to do but after him asking me numerous times I gave in.  I let my sucess go to my head, Big mistake !!!! Without my knowledge, my surgeon  ended up using my before and after picture to promote a bariatric center he opened 2.5 years after I had my surgery. I had nothing to do with his new center.  My picture appeared in 3 major magazines. Talk about being caught in a lie !!!!!  Now I live in fear of someone I know seeing my picture.  Donna open rny mar 18 2003 282/143/140

I am three years out and in the beginning I didn't tell many people other than my immediate family.  I certainly didn't tell people I worked with or even my neighbors and such.  But over time I have finally fessed up as I lost 175 pounds and people automatically assume you had some type of WLS.   I hesitated to tell people because so many times I failed at diets after time; I always gained my weight back.  Although I felt this was going to be my final attempt because there was no way I was going through something so drastic and then going to mess up again, I wasn't quite sure how everything would turn out in the end.  But when I look back, I really think the reason I was hesitant to tell anyone was because there are a ton of people out there who will say....."oh, you're taking the easy way out."  I am sure you can all relate......there is no way in hell this is the easy way out.  We have had to change our lifestyles and it's never ending.  The reward we get as we lose weight is the quality of life we start to enjoy and for that price, I will continue to follow all the healthy routines I have been able to adopt.  I will always miss those huge servings of lasagna and of course, those french fries and chinese food.  But when I think of the quality of my life (or should I say the lack of quality of life) at 312 pounds and I see what I can now do at 137 pounds, there is no way, I am going to fail.  I will never like exercising but I know I have to do it.  I will never like passing on desserts, but I will.  When all is said and done, I did what was best for me and at this point, I don't care who knows how I did it nor do I care if they think it's the easy way out.  They haven't walked in my shoes and it's really none of their business.  Geesh......I hope I don't sound too ****y here, but we have all had to put ourselves up a little higher on the priority list when we choose to do WLS and before you know it, we realize that we really do like ourselves and we deserve the success and quality of life we have all worked so hard for.   Joann

I know this is a sticky question for many of us here, but it is one I feel very strongly about.  I will stress that this is only my personal opinion. I did not tell anyone other than my husband, children, mother, and two close friends ahead of surgery.  I didn't want anyone second guessing what was a soul searching decision on my part.  I had an open RNY in May, 2005.   However, after surgery, I told my friends and coworkers, and anyone who knew me previously as a morbidly obese person and asked about my weight loss.  Why?  Because I feel it seriously harms other obese indiviuals still out there to think I was able to lose my weight through diet and exercise alone.  God knows I had tried my entire life to lose weight the "conventional" way.  And I failed over and over and over again.  To be able to go from 351 pound to 140 pounds without this surgery was virtually impossible for me without surgery.  I did not want one more obese person to struggle with a diet thinking they would be able to do what I did without surgery.  Also, I have worked very hard at this, and want those who question the surgery to know it can work.  I tell them how much work it is, that there is nothing "easy" about it, and how I have to continue to work it.  The general public sometimes has a negative stereotype of this surgery due to misinformation or lack of information.  I had to get over my feelings of failure of needing this surgery to lose weight.  I tell people that for whatever reasons, medically or psychologically, I was not able to lose and, more importantly, maintain a weight loss.  This surgery allows me to do that.  I am proud of the work I have done, and now refuse to be ashamed of needing surgery to accompli****  You can tell this is a sensitive issue for me.  I know others here do not share my opinion on this, and I respect their decision to not tell.  I'll say, the one time I didn't tell someone I had the surgery, I felt very badly about it later.  It is true that when some people know I have had the surgery they tell me the stories of others they know who have also had the surgery, only to regain weight.  I say, yes, I know that can happen, that is why I work so hard to exercise and still watch everything I eat.  I am just like the general population now who is trying to maintain a healthy body. Debra M.