Emotional Eating & Not Exercising - - - HELP ME

Hello To All: I had surgery (RNY) on 9/28/03.  I started at 420 lbs and have been down 160 lbs to the weight of 268.  I'm now at 295.  Both my surgeon, my primary care physician and my weight management physician agree that I don't fall into the "weight scales" because of the combination of my height (5'8") and the fact that my bones are large in frame.  At my weight of 295, people swear I look like 200 lbs.   I work 2 jobs, take care of my elderly dad by visiting him during the week and on weekends, take care of my house and husband and spend as much time as I can with my grandchildren, friends and relatives.  I would do this operation over again if I could.  I was down to a size 18/20 and I'm currently at a 22/24.  I know that this is a far cry from my original size 52, but I wish I could lose at least another 50 lbs.   My problem is that "I'm a worry person" in that I worry about everyone and everything in my life and try to determine how I would address specific situations should they arise.  This must be part of my "planning personality" that people love about me.  I've attempted two or three times to do the plateau diet, but failed.  I've attempted to ride my stationary bike every night to which this lasts two weeks only - - but I did get up to 10 miles in 30 minutes. My surgeon stated that a lot of his patients who have lost a lot of weight have a weight gain and he classifies me to be "normal" for the weight gain.   I don't eat pastry and bread products. Here are samples of things I eat along with the amounts at one serving:  Breakfast Items:      - Light & Fit Yogurt (4 Oz container)  X 3 along with a small banana and 12 oz. of lowfat cottage cheese.      - 3 Scrambled eggs w/lowfat milk to which I add 6 slices of american cheese for a cheese omelet.  Sometimes I'll include 3 slices of bacon with this.      - 1 1/2 cups of bran cereal or raisin bran cereal with a small banana and skim milk. Lunch Items:      - I mostly have each day a Jello Sugar Free Pudding with lunch.  Along with:          -  A weigh****chers frozen luncheon meal.          -  A Kentucky Fried Chicken Bowl w/extra cheese & gravy          -  2 1/2 cups of just lettuce with 1 cup of shredded cheese with Walden sugar free dressing or a fat free dressing.          -  A large Wendy's Chili with cheese.          -  A grilled chicken salad from Wendy's w/dressing. Dinner Items:          -  3/4 cup of canned beans with 3 beef hot dogs and 1/2 cup of cottage cheese.          -  A pie size wedge of homemade chicken pie.          -  A frozen pot pie.          -  One extra lean hamburg simmered in onions and topped with 3 slices of american cheese along with 1/2 cup cottage cheese or 1/2 cup of homemade potato salad.          -  Bowl of homemade Chili or Tortalini Soup. Evening:  Here is where my problems continue. I've had sugar reduced ice cream (1 cup), sugar free pudding or jello with sugar free whipped cream, and most recently a large size plastic cup of "trailmix" that includes peanuts and m&m's.

I know I need to exercise.  How do you all get yourself motivated?  How do you all stop the "snacking" at night"?  How do you all give yourself the correct portion sizes? Please respond as I need help to get me moving again. Thanks, Kathy

I've heard this said so often, the surgery fixes our stomach, but not our brains.  That's where the real fight always comes.  Our bodies may lose weight, but we've still got "fat heads."   Have you ever considered joining Overeaters' Anonymous?  They are so good at offering emotional support, as well as the accountability that's necessary to be honest about what you're doing and not doing for yourself and your program.  At some point, you find a person who's successful at his or her program, and you ask them to become your sponsor.  They can put you on the right track to deal with the head problems that are responsible for your difficulties.  And your surgeon may be right about you being typical or normal for gaining back these pounds, but do you really want to accept that?  What if you continue to gain weight?  I really think the answer for you is the OA group or if not OA, then find a bariatric support group and get yourself in it.  Isolation is the big problem.  Best of luck, Judy

Judy:

Thanks for your input.  I really appreciate it.  I just called my Bariatric Nutritional Physician's office and they made me an appointment to see the physician.  They spoke to me for quite some time to encourage me that I'll get through this "hurdle".  I'm going to the support group meeting that takes place in another facility until they can get their support group started because they just moved from one hospital to another one.

I always enjoy reading the comments made each day that I view this website.  Although I sometimes get depressed because I can't be like others and continue to lose weight - - I'm going to try to get a positive attitude to get myself motivated. Thanks for your time. Kathy

I was reading your reply to Judy.  Girl, don't get depressed.  You will figure this all out and get moving in the right direction again.  You did it before and you can do it again.  And I completely understand the night snacking and emotional snacking as I am an emotional eater myself.  I will tell you that the best thing I ever did for myself was to go to a therapist/counselor that specializes in eating disorders.  She helped me so much.  Maybe you could benefit from something like that.  I know that I learned ways to let things go and not worry so much and I learned things to do to curb night snacking and emotional grazing.  And, like I said in my earlier post to you, Spark people really helped me see where calories add up before I know it.  And tracking my food on there and writing my feelings down in a journal and what all was going on around me each day helped my therapist see patterns in my eating so we could pinpoint things that triggered me to self sabotage. Hang in there.   You realize you have issues and you have come on here for help which is a really big step by the way.  Congrats to you on that.    Melissa

It seems like you have some good choices in your menus, but it is the portions that I think may be the problem.  Have you ever tried using fitday or spark people to track your actual calories.  I know that for me I will think I am doing well with my food choices and amounts to only find out after listing everything on sparkpeople that I didn't do as good as I thought.  For example, you say you eat an omelet that is made with 3 eggs and 6 slices of cheese.  When I calculate the calories in that it comes to like 570 calories.  Let's say you eat 1500 calories per day.  Then you have consumed a large portion of those at one meal with that omelet.     I know that for me I do better to eat 5 or 6 times per day with smaller meals.   That keeps me from needing to graze or snack.  I usually eat around 1500 to 1600 calories per day to maintain my weight.  If I am up a couple of pounds I reduce that to 1400 or so and I lose pretty quick.  We are all so different in that we all maintain at different calorie levels and lose at different levels.   Maybe you could make an appointment with a nutritionist to get an idea of how many calories you need in a day to lose and then log everything into sparkpeople to keep up with it.  Maybe tracking yourself that way would allow you to see patterns in your eating behavior, etc.

Good luck.  Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Melissa

 

 

   

Hi Kathy, I had my surgery May 25,2005.  I have lost 170 pounds and would like to lose 30 more. From my personal experience to this point I found that my portions were to large and some of my choices were not as good as they were before.  For me I needed more structure, I joined Weigh****chers...this helps me look at my portion sizes and writing everything down helps keep me honest.  I also noticed that I was "taking a bite of this a bite of that"  "BLT's"...this adds up. Looking at some of the items you have listed as your meal choices although high in protein there are a lot of calories and fat.  3 eggs with 6 slices of cheese?  That is roughly 700 or more calories, maybe you could still get the protein with using egg whites/or beaters and use a little less cheese and make it light cheese.  The KFC bowls are full of fat and calories.  It just sounds like you may need to take an honest look at your portion sizes and food choices.  The nightly snack, I do that too.  Every night I have 1 cup of no sugar added ice cream...it is heavenly and I enjoy it...I know some would say this is not a great choice, but for me it is a treat that keeps me on track all day. This is hard.  So many people say that surgery is the easy way out.  This is so un true. Good Luck Kathy, hang in there. Shaun 

Kathy, are you saying you eat 3-4 oz containers of yogurt , a banana, and also 12 oz of cottage cheese?????

Yes.  The yogurt (12 oz) with 12 oz of cottage cheese and a small banana. My surgeon says that I'm a candidate (able to eat more than normal) for a lap band surgery after RNY surgery.  Apparently, they've found that several RYN surgery patients can eat more than others and the placement of the lab band relieves this food intake.   I've contacted my support people, my weight management physician and am determined to try to do this myself.  I need help with support from people and I'm going to make it known to all who know me that I need to regroup to the beginning and that I need to reduce my food intake amount - - I can't no longer try to eat like a "normal" person any longer.  Otherwise, my surgeon will get me scheduled for the lap band by this Fall. Wish me luck. Kathy. P.S.  I'll keep you all posted.  

I may only be a year out but I can still offer some advice.  First of all, you need to get a handle on exactly what you're eating.  I use sparkpeople.com to track my intake every single day.  That way I know every day if I'm falling into my allowed amounts on calories, carbs, fat & protein.  Knowing exactly what you're doing now if the first step in correcting what you're doing wrong. As to exercise, I can tell you what keeps me motivated.  I have exercise equipment at home.  Do I use it?  NO.  Why?  Because it's at home and I find other "more important" things to do.  If I actually get in the car and drive to the gym, I will work out.  So, I make time to go to the gym 6 days a week.  I do this for myself.  I feel better after I work out.  I actually like exercising.  If I stopped going to the gym now, would I use the equipment at home?  NO.  It's the exact same equipment.  But, I need the dedicate time for the gym or I would not exercise. 

Wow, Kathy, my surgery was 11 days after yours and I can't eat anywhere near the amount you report.  Have you had an EGD to see if there is anything mechanically wrong with your pouch?  It seems you have little to no restriction.  That's the first thing I would suggest to you, go to your surgeon and ask him/her to check this out. Secondly, your choices are very high in fat and sugar.  The KFC bowl without the extra cheese and gravy is 720 calories.  The trail mix is very high in fat and sugar.  Chicken pot pies are extremely high in fat and calories with usually not that much protein.  I agree with the previous poster, go to sparkpeople.com or fitday.com to enter your food intake for 3 days or so, just to get an idea of your calorie, protein, and fat intake.  These are free programs.  My guess is some days you're exceeding 2000-2500 calories. I exercise regularly and maintain on around 1700 calories.  If I want to lose I have to drop it to 1200. I'm not saying these things to beat you up.  I'm just not sure you understand how many calories you're consuming.  If you made different choices in foods it would help you tremendously. But again, the amounts you are eating are very large for a RNY patient.  The first thing I would do if I were you would be ask for an EGD.  If the RNY were functioning properly, you wouldn't need a band added. Again, you asked for suggestions, I'm not trying to make you feel worse.  You can do this with good diet instruction, maybe the dietitian with your surgeon's practice?

Hugs, Connie -147#