HELP very concerned

My cousin in law just had GBP 2 weeks ago.  She had her gall bladder removed at the same time.  She has been trying for years to get a GBP but has been denied every step of the way until well a few weeks ago.  She has had EXTREME psychological issues. Her insurance / medical is through Kaiser.  My sister-in-law just called me this morning to get my number and give it to my cousin-in-law for support as it appears she really doesn't have any.  So, I asked the following. What are you eating She said cream of wheat, cottage cheese, sugar free jello and sugar free pudding - but get this - they're telling her to eat 6 ounces of this stuff at a crack and to do it in 30 minutes!  EXCUSE ME?  I still at 3+ year PO have issues getting that much down at a crack.   What are you drinking? 64 oz daily - ok good deal - Are you drinking with meals?  No - ok good What are your water rules in regards to eating. Not for 30 prior not during and not for 1 1/2 hours after.  ARGH  that seems CRAZY! I tried to offer a few suggestions, but she's now deciding to just do her own thing and doesn't care what anyone else thinks.  At least that is my perception. suggestions on what to tell her?  Both my DH and I are worried.

Does she have access to a computer and the internet?  If so, I would prepare a whole bunch of reputable websites with reliable research and information and suggest to her to read through them all.   Included would be the suggestion to join this web messageboard and any others out there that provide support and online help. If she doesn't have access to a computer and the internet, I think I'd print out the resources and give them to her to read.  I'd also try and find support groups and any resources that she might have access to whereever she lives. Oh .. and I'd also provide a suggested reading list of books that are available through the public library and/or personal purchase. Good luck! - Carol

if she is allowed 30 minuites to do 6 oz of smooth, creamy,mushy stuff-i can see it happening easily-it glides thru her stoma and doesn't stay long in the pouch so by the end of the 30 minutes, the beginning of the meal is gone. as to the water-drinking- 1 1/2 hours seems rather long....i wa stold 30-45 mins on either side of a meal and none with. the best bet would be to get her hooked with sites if she does have computer or books if she doesn't--remember --every doc is different about what they say to do ....if she is not asking for help i would be careful of what you offer so she doesn't think you are shoving it at her- when she realizes maybe you aren't so dumb, she'll ask. jmho

I'll ask if she has a computer.  She has generally always been very stand offish to me so I really haven't conversed with her in the past.  But she knows I had GBP so now she wants to chat with me.  I would hope that she realizes that 3 plus po I'm not an idiot.  I mean I've maintained my weight I am stable in the head  most times and I generally don't offer suggestions advice without being approached.  learned that lesson the hard way a while back! I'll see what I can do about giving her enough info without cramming it down her throat or passing judgment on her physican. I just still have issues with that much food - mushy or not.  Sometimes I can other times ohhhh lordie no way!

Sometimes it seems like it's a contest to see who manages to eat the least amount, or who has the tiniest pouch, or who had the most intestines bypassed. I would think you would feel happy for your cousin-in-law who has taken her weight problem in hand and is doing something about it. Apparently her EXTREME mental problems have improved since she passed her psych tests. I hope you congradulated her on her trip to the losing side. If she insists on following her own surgeon's orders, well that's her choice. I have always felt I paid for my surgeon's experience and advice, and following his protocal would be in my best interest. Perhaps she feels the same?

I feel as if I have irritated you.  I apologize for that.  Yes she has issues.  Yes I congratulated her on her surgery.  yes I told her that I was very excited she was getting in all her water at 2 weeks, that I couldn't do it.  I try never to compare weight loss of others to myself.  I've been on the board for years, and don't pop up often and feel like I can manage myself quite well.  I just don't know her story 100% and with the minimal information and my past experience, not to mention what those of others mention on the boards that 6 ounces just seems wild to me.

 

Sorry if I upset you.  thank you for your response.

I personally don't drink for 1 1/2-2 hours after I eat now but when I was newly postop I only waited 30 minutes.  I couldn't possibly have gotten enough fluids in if I had waited that long.  But she says she's getting in 64 oz. in daily, which is OK. Six ounces does sound like a lot for that early out , even of soft foods.  We don't know how big her pouch is, maybe her surgeon is less conservative than most and made it 4-6 ozs. Anyway, I would still suggest some websites or books to her but it sounds like she is not going to listen to anything different from what she's doing now. It is frustrating that there are as many protocols as there are surgeons.  I think the ASBS needs to come up with a standard one that everyone could buy into.  (Supposedly they are working on this.)  Although I'm sure not every surgeon would agree with it! Hugs, Connie

Thanks Connie for your reply.  Wouldn't that be wonderful if we actually got surgeons to agree!  That would be a milestone!!!!

I just hope she's doing well and will offer any words of wisdom I can give.  I'll not push her as that wouldn't help anyway.

Have a super day!