DEPRESSION almost 2yrs post-op

Tracy,please email me with what medications you have tried as my dr. had a time getting my meds right after surgery, it has something to do with the absorption etc.  Isnt it funny that now you are looking good you are feeling like this and staying home?   I have total body dysmorphia I really cannot comprehend the changes in my body, like clothes I look at my size and then think "am I in the kids dept?" there is no way these will fit..and when they do I just wonder about my self perception, my daughter will say something like "you are skinnier than her" or my son said one time "HOLY #### mom look how skinny your legs are"  Now I know what size I wear and about what I weigh but it does not translate somehow to my self image.  I knoew I was depressed at about 2 years out coping with the loss of comfort that food had given me, and the socializing that is centered around food.  It can still be uncomfortable not eating when others are especially if there is a persisttent person there I try to avoid all eating situations in public.  I might have tea etc. with a friend who is eating but I think it makes them uncomfortable also .the most trying thing for me after surgery was finding something to comfort and soothe any of the emotions I used to eat  to solve.thats the trick for me, plus medication that keeps me from going too low or high.

I wonder, am I missing the food more than I realiize because i don't feel that I am missing it that much. I don't feel that i am missing out on anything, I feel that I certainly had a good run with eating whatever. My mom works with a woman who is very depressed and cries because she misses her support from food. For me as for as i can remember I have been on all the basic SSRI's and we are exploring some of the "old school" ones I guess because we are running out of optins.

It took me a while to get the food connection thing  so maybe you are.  I changed to lesser amounts of lithium , lamictal, and clonazepam  the last of which really helped me sleep and anxiety.  I can go into hermit mode easily if left to my own devices esp if my meds are wrong, Agorophobia is NOT funny in any way and as my sister very uncharacteristically had a severe bout of it in our 20's, I realize now I enabled that .  Probably would again if we were in the same location, but she never has had a recurrence.  There are times though that I just want to safe and comfortable in my home and make my bedroom in what my kids call "caving" I make it very dark (curtains closed etc.) read or something , I still interact within the family , but really dont care or want to speak to friends /customers that I really do like.  This has happenned less since my med change but I still find comfort in isolating in that way.  I think before  would have eaten something ( for me bread or something greasy) way past the point of being full, but completely satiate myself with just that it is a very simple solution and probably why most people use it.  Wandering out into the world in our new bodies and old minds is very strange.   I really hope that things start  getting and feeling better for you.  Sometimes I think we just get tired and dont realize just what our bodies have been through.  Take care and godspeed   Carol

Malika, I'm sorry you are having to deal with depression.  I have had chronic depression that makes me feel like I'm in a deep hole that I am trying to crawl out of.  I have been on effexor that kills my stomach but helps.  My pcp added cymbalta and the combination works well for me. Please keep praying and try to turn this over to the Lord.  I'm sure He is sad that you are so unhappy.  Also, Malika you deserve to feel happy.  Keep going to your pcp until  (s)he finds the right medication(s) to help you. I'll keep you in my prayers. Best wishes, Paula 299/124

THANK YOU!

Malika,

I hear ya! I am going thru a depression right now and it has nothing to do with weight loss. I am actually losing daily. I am turning 39 this month, 4 yrs post op RNY. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have used different meds thru out the years, mainly for stress. This is my very 1st experience at being so depresses. I can cry at a pin drop. My marriage is at an all time low. We will be celebrating 14 years in April, hopefully. I have been so disgusted with myself, my husband, and my kids that I have thought about leaving! I won't. My family needs me. I called today and made an appointment with a therapist. I go Wednesday. I need help and so do you. Find help. Get out of the house. My life is changing for the better as I have just accepted Jesus back into my life but am still lost. I have to find myself. I hope yoou can too. There are people out there to help. You make the 1st step.

I am so happy to hear that you have ecepted Jesus into your life. You have a wonderful outlook even though things are going rough for you too right now. I do have a therapist and I am going to try to get back to seeing her and I do know i need to get back into fellowship. hang in there and i pray for you as well, Godspeed, 'Malika

Malika, I hope that you are seeing a psychiatrist and not just letting a family doctor or your surgeon prescribe your anti-depressants. I have battled depression for years. It runs in my family. I had a very hard time after surgery and went through therapy as well as staying on my meds.  Over the past two years, I haven't seen my psychiatrist with all the events and moving around I've had in my life and I finally went to one last week. All she did was double my Wellbutrin XL to 300mg and I can believe the difference it has made in just one week.  I understand what you are saying about the different meds. Wellbutrin seems to be the only one that works for me besides the old, old ones. I started out on Sinequan 20 years ago. But I've been on the Wellbutrin off and on for 15 years. The side effects are much less bothersome with it.  Whenever I have to change doctors because of insurance, they always want to change my meds, but I always end up back on the Wellbutrin. I've tried Paxil, Prozac and a few others and had horrid problems with the Paxil. I thought I was going to have to be committed!  Anyway, my new shrink agrees Wellbutrin is best for me and thinks with more than 3 recurrences, I should just stay on it the rest of my life and I have to say I agree.  I hope you find a drug that works for you. Also, I have noticed when I exercise regularly, I see a difference. The doctor said endorphins definitely play a big part in depression and has encouraged me to get back into routine exercise.  Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.  Laura

Yes I have been on welbutrin, I am going to ask about being put back on it, good suggestion. I do see a professional. So we shaell see. i have an appointment this thur. Thank you for your prayers. Godspeed. malika