Discouraged

Hi all,

I have to say that I have been very discouraged pretty much lately.  I'm 21 months post-op, have lost 185 pounds from my top weight and just had a TT done 2 weeks ago.  I look at my body and I say I'm happy that I had this surgery.  However, I feel bad physically 99% of the time.  Either I have pains from my fibromyalgia or something I ate doesn't agree with me or I've got su*****redibly painful gas (not like the funny rumbly tummy gas, but seriously PAINFUL in my chest gas) or I'm constipated or my costrochondritis is painful or my esophogeal spasms, or I have no appetite or I have an unreal appetite or my pouch is hurting or my pinched nerve in my back is hurting which makes my abdomen hurt or something!  I have pain in my upper abdomen a good portion of the time from either gas or my pinched nerve or the esophogeal spasms.  I've had an endoscopy done and everything looked great.  I've had an EKG done.  Every test that I've had (blood and otherwise) have all come back great, so I know that everything is good inside, but I feel like total s#-t 95-99% of the time.  I am honestly starting to regret having this surgery.  No, I don't have diabetes or high blood pressure, but I still am totally unhealthy!  Or at least feel unhealthy.  I feel almost worse than I did pre-op.  How f-d up is that?

Maybe I'm just venting, but I really needed to do it and get this out.

On the positive side, I got my drains out from my TT today and feel much better in that respect.  The nurse said that everything is healing fantastically - is one of the best she's seen.  She said that my complete recovery will look amazing.

Michelle

I'm so sorry you feel so bad latley. It has only been 2 weeks. I have not had a TT or  anything but I would think it takes time to heal that too. But keep you chin up and everything will be just fine. I bet you look awesome too. It could be the time of year too. Come on spring if you know what I mean. take care and hope you feel better soon. Betty

Michelle, vent away, sorry you are feeling so bad.  I hope with spring coming and good weather you'll be outdoors enjoying life and not ill. Best wishes, Dana

Hi Michelle, its been about a year since I have been to this board, I was so tierd of feeling like the only one that was having a hard time with this surgery, I had the sapala wood micro pouch in July 2005, and I have had every thing done to me luckily my incesion healed fine because I have heard horror storys about that but my weight loss was sooo slow Im started at 294 and now Im 167 but I have had my pouch close 3 times and had to have the tube down the throat, and my stomach dialated, I had a double hernia surgery, I lost my galbladder, my bottom teeth have just gone horrible the color is horrible and 3 have broke off and my hair is still falling out in hand fuls I am to embarrassed to even have a hair dresser try to do anything with my hair because its just horrible I have clogged the sink and tub with my hair, Iam 39 years old and I swear my face has aged 10 years, I am anemic all my blood work comes back, low iron, I have to take b vitamin pills and shots, from all the surgery Iam always in pain not horrible but pretty bad sometimes so the Dr. finally gave up trying to find anything and said its scar tissue from all the surgerys and put me on vikodin, I have no energy Im a  ***** all the time because I feel bad and Im so sick of throwing up!!! I still cannot eat bread, meat no sugars or I just pass out, and l Cannot even think of sex, the Dr also thinks Im in early mentapause, because I have 2 periods a month, night sweats that make me wake up drenched and freezing (Did I mention Im a ***** LOL) I feel so ugly I just cant even look at my self, Im on Illinois medicaid and am now totally lost at what to do with my body it sickens me I was more comfortable weighing my top weight of about 340 because Iam so physically repusive my stomach, just hangs and sags, my boobs have fallen so much I am a DD but when Im not wearing a bra and look in the mirrir side ways I honestly look flat chested and my arms dont even get me going on that, I am so upset about the flab it is consuming me, oh and there is a new odor when I sleep I swear I really dont know were to turn I am sorry for your troubles and wish you didnt have them but I am truly happy to hear that Iam not alone, I would be so grateful to talk to you maybe we can help each other..you said you just had a TT do oyu know were I could even star looking for a DR. that may take medicaid? well Michelle please e-mail me ANY TIME, and be strong this has all gotta work out...please excuse all my bad spelling....take care and be happy Lisa Michelle

Dear Michelle and Lisa-Michelle: I am so sorry that you are having these issues to deal with.  Please feel free to vent here.  WLS isn't a "god-send" for everyone, and I hope that at least on the grads board, people won't act as though you have to be all "happy-happy" about it.  I am more than happy to listen and offer support if I can. I wish I could offer some advice, but the only thing that comes to mind is maybe you would consider seeing a therapist to continue venting these issues and hopefully come to some resolution about everything.  It must be just horrible to deal with these things daily and I'm so sorry that this is the case with you two.

You have my best wishes that everything will improve.  Please don't give up. 

Carlita

 

Gosh Michelle.  Do you think maybe you are having problems with Adhesions? (Scar tissue). This causes the majority of the pain when I have it.

I am not happy you have esophageal spasms but THANK GOODNESS someone out there has them besides me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I thought I was the only one.  They are HORRIBLE!  Luckily they only happen to me about 3 times a year.  I know the symptoms so I have something to prevent it.  The only thing that works for me is to take Valium. 

I get one of the lowest doses possible.  It is 2mg.  They have a 1mg but really that is nothing.  I like the 2mg because it relaxes the muscles without me feeling "loopy" or out of it.  I don't even feel it at all.  See if you can talk your doctor into giving you this low dose AS NEEDED.  People can become addicted to them in high doses but I just use mine as a muscle relaxer.  It stops the spasms in their tracks.  Luckily, I only have to take them a few times a year. 

Good luck to you and I hope you find some relief. 

Dana

Hi,   Don't think I have posted much on this board. But want to let you know I feel your pain. I am 19 months out and have been throwing up since day 1. Right after I came out of the OR I threw up and still doing it. I dump on everything. I don't care what it is. I am a lot worse off now than I was before I had the gbs. But I am glad I had it done. And yes I would do it again. I hope every day that it will be better soon. The doctor wants to undo my gbs. But no way........I have faith that god will make me better soon. God bless.. Hope you feel better soon. Amy

Go ahead and vent away.  This forum is full of supportive folks that have had similar experiences.  Its more productive to vent in my opinion to folks that have been thru similar issues than to vent with family and friends that just do not understand post op issues.   I too have had multiple medical issues arise lately and i am trying to get them diagnosed and remedied i hope.  I am seeing a urologist, gastroentrolgist and neurologist this past month.  Urinary retention and decreased flow issues, disabling gas and constant liquid stools, and an old herniated cervical disc issue in my neck that is getting more and more difficult to bear (ie pain).  The urinary issue is the only new one for me though since the RNY surgery a little over a year ago.  I had severe IBS with dirrehea before surgery and it continues.   Overall, being ill and feeling not so healthy is a bit discouraging- but i am SO GRATEFUL for having had the RNY surgery.  My head still hasn't caught up with my bodily changes.   I still can't believe i am wearing a size 8 Calvin Kein jeans today and they are a bit baggy in the butt and legs.  If my abdominal skin was not there hanging- i might be able to fit into a size 4....it is so surreal to me---when I had been a size 26 or more for decades.   It sounds like you have had some diagnostic work ups but no remedy to some issues.  My advice would be don't give up- and seek other medical opinions or specialists.   I am thinking to see a Rheumatolgist too in the future due to arthritis issues at age 39.  i have had one form or another of arthritis since I was a teenager- bursitis, fibromyalgia, costracondritis, etc--always was told to loose weight as the excess was causing the pain I was having.  Well now that I am at 140 pounds- why is the arthritis pain seem worse?  weird...guess it wasn't just the weight causing it after all.  Maybe it was a contributing factor but not the only cause for the pain. I am happy I do not feel ill around the clock- just periods every day that  i feel bad but they have always subsided.  The chronic bouts of pain and GI issues though can be quite socially disabling.  And I am not talking about going out on the town partying--  sometimes just going for a lite lunch followed by a trip to walmart or the grocery store is not possible for me.  I can get really ill feeling after eating- SEVERE GI distress and pain---  So if i plan a shopping trip- my strategy has become  i eat the smallest quantity of the safest foods I know that day  and focus more on safe beverages.  It is frustrating at times though explaining my behavior to those that don't know my daily woes.  At least my hubby is patient with me for the most part- he does get frustrated with me at times but at least i feel he understands probably more than anyone else i know what i am experiencing.  He needs reminding on occasion but he is supportive. Take care Michelle.  There's one guarantee- things always change --and hopefully for the better for you. Hugs, Karen