Giving up

I'm Shannon, live in NE Wisconsin. WLS was on 5/23/05. After 106lb loss I'm back up 20lbs as of last night. I KNOW what I'm supposed to and not supposed to do... and I have no clue why I'm sabotaging myself. I know that I need help and encouragment and some friends and support. Breakfast: egg/ham croissant, coffee/hot choc mixture, sometimes candy bar or muffin. snack: all day sun flower or pumpkin seeds lunch: take out... usually 1/2 portion of whatever daily special is from the restaurants. dinner: hamburger helper or something easy. snack: air pop corn, soda, chocolate. I have never had any dumping, nothing makes me sick, I can eat more and more at a sitting, especially when stressed. I don't WANT to gain it back, but I don't seem to be motivated to try. oh, and I don't have an exercise plan. I'm not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me... I guess I just needed to acknowledge what I'm doing, and hope to get some feedback on how to get myself on track. Shannon

Shannon, Shannon, Simply re-read your post. It will tell you. What's going on in your life that can be fixed "without" the food. It's not an easy thing for any of us. We fully didn't realize this when we had surgery, I suspect. At least I didn't. I thought the "fix" would get the weight off and I wouldn't have to deal with any of this diet, exercise stuff anymore. HOW WRONG CAN THAT BE. I think a lot of people think the way I did and that is why there are so many disappointed post-ops. Just my opinion. Good luck discovering what it is that is driving you to want to put something in your mouth instead of figuring it out in your head. Hint: it's either a "head" or "heart" problem. Marilyn

Shannon, I have to agree with Marilyn, if you disect your post you will see where you should make changes. Do you have a nutritionist you can see? How about going to counseling? I feel there is something in your life (stress, unhappiness, past hurts, etc.) that you need to probably deal with first. WLS isn't a fix, it's a tool......you have your tool to use. I know you don't want to go backwards and experience the life you did almost 2 years ago.....gain control of your emotions now. Please post often and let us know how you are doing......YOU can do it! Best wishes, Dana

Hey Shannon! I concur with each response to your post. Nobody wants to be the one to point out the obvious, but YOU did a wonderful job of it all by yourself, simply by listing your daily diet - and I'm saying "BRAVO" to you for being so brave to do so! Although I often make less than stellar food choices sometimes, I'm not so willing to admit it!! Good for you - you are on your way to pulling in the reins and rectifying what is going on with your food choices. If you were to track the foods you listed above in a food journal, such as FitDay.com, you would very quickly see how badly you are sabatoging your weight loss efforts with far too many carbs and fats. Add a few solid protein choices in that same diet, exclude some of the fat-ladden items and you will surely see some results on the scale. In addition to that, you MUST include exercise in your daily routine. You don't have to throw big money into the best gym equipment or buy in to a gym membership..... just get MOVING. In whatever form of exercise you choose, MOVE to LOSE. That's the only way you are going to lose that weight and reach your goal - you have to use the tool you have been so richly blessed with and incorporate those good habits you had early on following surgery. You can do it! Please keep us posted on your progress! Hugs! Kristi

Hi Shannon, I'm right there with you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also know that I'm sabotaging myself and right now I don't know how to stop. I'm trying to find SOMETHING...........ANYTHING that will motivate me to get back on track. Let's keep posting and hopefully find some answers. Good Luck, Robin

Ok, I say too many bad carbs, too much sugar, grazing and not preparation ahead of time for what you'll be eating for the day. Now I'm not flaming you at all~this is just what I see when I read thru your average day. So, what to do now?? My advice would be to get back to basics~push protein first. Are you even getting in your dr's requirement of protein daily?? Avoid the bad carbs and sugar~you might need to detox for a few days and it will suck, but once you get thru it, you won't have the strong craving for those foods anymore. Get rid of the soda and focus on increasing your water intake~at least 64oz, but more if possible. (I like to get in 100oz daily). Use crystal light, sugar free hot chocolate, tea, etc~whatever you like to increase you daily intake. You can use fitday or sparkpeople to track you calories, protein, carbs, etc if that's helpful for you. I'm in NW PA so I know the weather really puts a damper on the exercise routine. I do the Walk Away the Pounds tapes/dvds at home during the winter months. Find something that you enjoy doing~at home, at the gym, wherever~and just do it!!! Exercise is not only good for us physically, but menatally as well. It helps you to get your head in the game! I find preplanning my day really helps! So instead of ordering out for lunch, pack your lunch with high protein foods to help you get thru your day. You CAN do this! Like you said, you know what to do, you just need to find the motivation to do it. Look ahead to a special event or something coming up for you~even spring/summer~doing this always helps me to stick a little closer to my plan! Good Luck and keep us posted on how things are going! Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

Hi Shannon, I agree with all that everyone has posted above. One thing that works for me is taking the time to prepare real food. Fish or chicken, even beef is a good bet with salad or veggies. The hamburger helper is packaged food and these are processed and contain added fat and sugar. Start with food from the produce section and it fills you up faster. Take whatever is left over for lunch the next day. You can prepare it without a lot of fat, but the restaurant versions have a lot more fat than you can imagine. You add so many calories eating packaged foods and restaurant meals (unless it is on the diet menu). Try yo take your lunch 3 to 4 times per week. Also, try the no sugar added chocolate if you must have it. It is really good and tastes like the real thing. Real chocolates are high in sugar and make you crave more because the real sugar is addicting. Also, You can package up a serving of pumpkin seeds for your snack. If you eat them all day, you can add a huge amount of calories. The biggest reason for weight gain is grazing all day long. I know that you already know all this. Sometimes it is helpful to hear it again. The weight loss surgery books are helpful also. The best one for you might be The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgey Patients. Just re-reading it all may bring you back to where you want to be. Just remember that you are not alone. You did it once so you know you can do it again. You may need to talk to a professional counselor that deals with food issues. You also need to move. It is hard to do in the winter. Walk at lunchtime. Take stairs instead of elevators. Get an exercise bike or treadmill at a tag sale or in the paper. I bought so much gym equipment from tag sales, an ellyptical trainer for $20.00, an exercise bike free at the put and take, a treadmill for $35.00 at a tag sale, a mini trampoline for jogging in place at a sporting goods store for $20.00, and a gazelle free at the put and take.) Just start to exercise now. Exercise also fights depression which goes along with gaining weight, being either a cause or effect. The counselor or doctor may need to put you on an anti-depressant. Good luck in your journey. I'll say a prayer for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing. LD

I am so there with you, living in SE Wisconsin and you had your surgery on my birthday, just found it coincedence to write you back. I am 2.5 yrs out and lost 100 also and back up 14lbs even though I had a breast reduction that removed 5lbs. I am really unmotivated to excersice more than the active job and lifestyle l lead even though my husband goes to the club a mile down the street 4x a week. When I get home I want to stay there durring the week. But I have been struggling with the same intake issues but I am trying to make it simple. 1. stop it with soda. One of my down falls. I found pre bottled lipton diet green tea, berry flavor and changed up some of the to go crystal lights. 2. stop it with the fast food. Another big down fall!! I am using the South Beach Wraps for lunch, not perfect but better than the fast food. 200/300 calories and low carbs. 3. I am doing protien shakes for breakfast for now and a cup of coffee, there are some things I just wont give up. BUT, much better than a mocha latte from Starbucks. Every wee****ep these goals I reward myself with a spa type treatment. I would really like to make it to 175, I am at 205 today. I wish us both luck! Thanks for letting me put my plan in writing, Tammy

we all need help and encouragement....weight loss surgery is a TOOL, not a solution. everyone slips up one way or another. sometimes it takes 20 pounds to wake us up. you need to follow the basic rules of the pouch......go back to the days right sfter surgery.....water water water....protiens first....nothing sweet walk walk walk...then change up exercising by adding something different...like maybe a bike ride every other day. it is in your head......the doctor took away your best friend.......food. too much money was spent on the surgery to give up. you had a 50-50 chance of dying from the surgery.....do you want to relive all the problems you had before? have to found a local support group? do you have a fitness buddy??? maybe a dog that needs walking? am I being harsh...yes....but your doctor will more than likely be worse. we are all here to help you if you need it, but it has to start with you taking that first step by admitting you have a problem. you obviously have done that by your post. now follow through with getting control......start cooking more healthy options, go for short walks and so on. I make myself get on the treadmill 5 days a week for at least 30 mins....do I enjoy it hell no. I have even added protien shakes back into my meals plan. I try to eat good things but it isnt always easy. I still get treated like crap for "cheating" and 'taking the easy way out" by having surgery....I weigh 147 and people still say I am over weight. I get stressed and over eat or eat the sinful foods.....but then I see my kids and realize they need a healthy mom....cause dad isnt around. my son is 13 and he put his arms around me one day and said.....wow mom I can reach all the way around you now. that wakes me up on those days I drink cokes and eat swedish fish all day. yes I have regained some.....technically you can say it was 20 pounds at one point. I was down to 133 and shot up to 153...it was gradual but it was my fault. we are here for you.......we are only human....we make mistakes....but we can correct those mistakes. so if anyone wants to slam me for how I feel then you have obviously lived the perfect life after weightloss surgery and are one of the chosen few....congrats to you. some of us need that harsh push to see we need help...and it might be a life long push. some of us were beat up for being a fat wife.....or called names and food was and is all we have. we just do not know the underlying damage others may have. so we need to help our fellow brothers and sisters get back on the wagon. even if it is harsh...they will thank us for the help in the end. tammy

I could give you advice all day long, but like you said you know what you need to be doing, you just can't get yourself to do it. Sounds like me when I finally realized I had an eating disorder and I wasn't a failure, but I was indeed sick and needed some help to get well. So, I would suggest making an appointment with a therapist/counselor who specializes in eating disorder treatment. It was the absolute best thing I ever did for myself. You have already started the battle of getting on track by realizing what you are doing. Bravo to you for being brave enough to get on here and post it. You are so much stronger than you know or probably give yourself credit for. Give it a shot and see what therapy can do for you. Come on here for support and ecouragement. Keep us posted on how things are going. Lots of hugs and well wishes to you, Melissa