I am a little mad here

Yesterday there was a woman who posted that she is upset because kaiser is requiring her to lose some weight before she has her surgery. I wrote in to encourage her, and to let her know it is normally a requirement and that we all have to do this, or at least I assume we did. There were other people who chimed in and agreed with me. That she should use the energy she was going to use to fight Kaiser, and try the diet to lose the required amount of weight. Well, I got blasted, no one else did. I was not the only one who felt she should do it, but I was the only one who got crucified. I will not be responding to those kinds of msgs anymore. It just pissed me off that even tho I was not alone in my opinion, all the rest of the posters got pissed at me. Even those who tried to come to my defense did not get anything said to them. Whatever. Laura

You know it would **** me off too. I think that people only want to hear Validation rather than the truth of things. I think that as a Graduate, people would take our advice a little more to heart. I mean we have been there and done that. I was not required to do a pre-op diet but I lost weight on my own to prep myself for my new life. I wanted to be as prepared as possible before going into surgery. You have to think of this journey as a complete lifestyle change not some miracle cure. Take it from me, people get real pissy around here when you actually express your opinion. Valid or not. It's one of the reasons many of us stick to posting on the grad board.

Hi Jane! THANK YOU!!! I saw it as preparation for the new lifestyle as well, and that is exactly how my dr wanted me to see it! The diet I had to follow is what I eat now. A maximum of 1200 calories a day, lots of walking or excercising, and adjusting to the new diet we have to eat, for lack of a better word. It worked for me, and for a few friends who had the same surgeon. And what you said at the end, about sticking to this board, I agree. I am the kind of person, more so now, that if you absolutely HAVE to do something, or if it is worth having, shut up and do it. Complaining will not change the fact that it has to be done. So I guess my opinion came shining thru loud and clear, and of course, some folks don't like to hear that. In my opinion, she is being coddled, and that will not help her if she is able to actually have the surgery. You have to suck it up and just do it. I know she was having health issues that was making it hard for her to lose the weight, but didn't we all??? I did! I had thyroid issues, high blood pressure, pre-diabetic, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and the beginnings of a blocked artery. I was 39 when they told me this!! And I have done diets since I was little, with my older sisters, against my will since I was just a kid in single digit ages!! Her issue is alot more serious than mine, but the point is that I tried, and I did it! I didn't complain. I didn't like it, and who does? Everyone at work said "If you can lose the weight this way, why have the surgery?" Well, because I only had to lose 24 lbs, and that is not enough to make me healthy, and I cannot keep it off! When I gain back, more comes back with what I lost originally. Anyway, thanks for what you said. It pissed me off to see all of those emails in my inbox this morning, but you turned my day around, so I thank you very much for that! Have a great weekend! Laura

Yep, I don't believe in coddling people either. Don't they realize that this is serious. PCOS or not (BTW, I have it, still lost 27 pounds as a pre-op), you got to follow the rules. IMHO, if you can't at least make a good effort to loose the required weight that the insurance or doc want you to loose beforehand, maybe this is not for you. It's called compliance. I spent 3 years trying to get surgery through three different insuance companies. I ahd Cigna which was the worst. Theyw ant 6 month diet too. I did the diet. Lost about 5 pounds. They lost my paperwork so I ahd to start allover again. I complained sure, but I did it anyway ebcause I wanted surgery that badly. During that time I read everything I could get my hands on and bided my time. Rules are rules. A lawyer is not gonna help you get out of a legal protocol written in stone by an insurance company. One the things they are doing with their pre-op dets is making sure you a ready for a very serious life change. One of which some people have a difficult time adapting to. Keep on expressing your opinion and don't worry about other people who like to validate rather than state the truth of things. I'm with you on this one!

Jane, if you can't at least make a good effort to loose the required weight that the insurance or doc want you to loose beforehand, maybe this is not for you. It's called compliance. Did you just channel my nurse coordinator? LOL. That is almost EXACTLY what he said. You have to try, you have to show compliance. Some people can't lose the "required" 10%, but can try and lose something!!!! Julie

Laura, sorry this happened to you. I didn't see the post, but I would of agreed with you on this. Not all surgeon's require pre-op weight loss, my doctor did. I truly believe it helped me as a post-op as I had already decarbed myself before surgery and was walking which made recovery easier and the head hunger wasn't a factor. Pick your chin up.......some people just don't want to hear the truth nor do they really want advise, they want to whine and have others comfort them....which is fine I don't believe in flaming anyone to hurt them but sometimes it needs to be spelled out. Dana

I'm sorry you got blasted - that does suck, and unfortunately there are way too many people who will do that - got big ole chips on their shoulders - Even if someone does not like your advice, they need to realize it is your opinion or your thoughts and not written in blood, and looking at all sides of a subject (especially eating habits) might be a good idea especially from someone who is further out. That's why most people ASK questions, to get several opinions. Well, on second thought, I guess there are plenty of people who do ask questions just to get validation, not really wanting another opinion. (We just don't do that in the part of the South that I'm from - HA HA). - I do not mind someone questioning me, but to just outright be nasty is uncalled for - DeAnna

Thanks, Dana. I appreciate what you said. Laura

Hi Laura! I too am sorry that you had that happen~I just feel it is so uncalled for. If people don't want an opinion on something, then they should not ask the question! I did not have to lose weight before surgery. I had to do 6mths documentation where I was "supposed" to follow the diabetic diet and exercise. I did incorporate exercise into my life, but to be honest, I did not really follow the diet during that time. I just figure you gotta do what you gotta do to get approved~we don't always like it and it can sometimes be hard, but having wls is a HUGE deal and not an easy road. I remember when I went to have my blood gas blood test drawn. I was really scared and it REALLY hurt~I almost passed out, had to put my head between my legs, needed smelling salts, the works! Anyway, this nurse looked at me and very calously said "If you're having weightloss surgery you better get used to being in pain b/c it will be extremely painful and if you can't handle this then maybe you better rethink having surgery." I was SO pissed off at the time b/c I thought it was such a rude thing to say, but looking back on it now, she was kinda right! I guess in her case she could have presented her thoughts in a nicer way instead of being so abrupt about it, but essentially she was right. So my point is, maybe sometimes we only want to hear what we "want" to hear~and what we want to hear isn't always the truth, we want a sugar coated version of things to make us feel better. Well, sorry to ramble on and again I'm sorry that happened to you. Your opinion wasn't "wrong", it just wasn't what the poster wanted to hear~that's no reason to jump on you about it by the poster or by anyone else! I think that was unfair to you as a person who's here responding to a question in hopes of helping someone. Hugs, Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

Thanks, all of you! You are all right. If you don't want an opinion other than your own, don't post!! Laura