Feeling lost...

Hi guys! First time I've ever been to this forum...I guess I didn't realize it was here! I frequent the MI Board daily. Well, I am just over 3 years out and am happy to say I initially lost 125 lbs after surgery! But recently (over the last year really) I have had a significant weight gain, snacking my way up from my lowest weight after surgery...about 35 lbs to be exact. The last year I have just been slacking off, eating the right things but ALSO the wrong things, can tolerate any food now, can eat more than I used to, exercising has not been a priority, and the list goes on. I could be the poster child on what NOT to do, but sincerely I used to be the one that did everything RIGHT after surgery and felt like a positive force. It's almost like I have no control over it, just like it used to be prior to wls. It's almost like I'm consciously sabotaging myself...trying to satiate my problems with food, etc. I'm just so disappointed in myself right now, but I can't seem to get a grip for some reason. Maybe I don't feel worthy? I went thru some personal problems this past year too, and now everything is back on track pretty well, but I think there is some depression still lingering. I know what I have to do....I really do. I just need to get motivated again. I'm even the leader of our local support group and I'm sure not a very good example for them. They are very supportive and help me alot, which I am so thankful for. I just have to get back on track. Maybe just posting here where there are many of you as far out as I am, will help me face my demons and get me moving in the right direction. I hate to sound discouraging to the newbies, so I thought maybe this would be the place to post. I'm ready for anything! Any comments and suggestions welcome! Hugs, Theresa

Hi, Theresa. I think that many, many of us go through what you're going through right now. They operated on our stomachs not on our brains, you know? I know for myself, I kind of got used to "the magic" of WLS, and for a long time maybe I felt invincible, because no matter what I ate I either lost weight or didn't gain, and that was like magic, don't you agree? Well now the magic is gone, and it's hard to snap yourself back to reality I guess. I'm slowly beginning to realize that I'm going to have to "work" for this if I want to remain a normal-weight person. And that's hard, when you're used to being self-indulgent with food, and I always have been. I have no willpower and not much discipline when it comes to food, so I guess I'm going to have to learn what to do to keep this weight off. I'm considering therapy/counseling, something I've not done before in connection with my weight issues, but maybe it's time. I don't have any revelations for you, I'm sorry to say, other than that we must all find a way to make this work for us, or accept the weight coming back on and the resultant health issues that go with it. I hope that you will find your way through this and get your "ship" back on course! Best wishes. Carlita

Thanks Carlita, Words of wisdom....someone who gets it. I know most of us have "fallen off the wagon" so-to-speak at some time or another. I just haven't been back "on" it in a while! It does have so much to do with you brain, not just your stomach....I was think the same thing...of going to a counselor of some kind to deal with the issues of eating, losing alot of weight at one time, etc... There are alot of issues that go with it, I know. Thanks for responding, and I have no intention of giving up! Try, try again, I always say! Theresa

OH yes! We all fall off the wagon from time to time. No of us is immune to the problems that lead us to overeat and end up mo. I am an emotional eater~always have been, probably always will be. I'm dealing with it, but it will always be with me, like the 328lb woman that sits on my shoulder. I guess its how we deal with, or get back on the wagon again, that really matters. You ARE a source of inspiration to your support group and others Theresa!!!! So you've made some bad choices for awhile, but now you're here trying to work thru it and face it and that's what really matters. You know what you have to do, but finding the motivation is hard. Do you have an upcoming event that you're looking forward too? You could use that to as motivation. Make small goals and you'll reach your utlimate goal in time!!! Just think of how far you've come~heck you can lose 35lbs if you lost 125lbs!!!!! It might take a little longer now, but your tool will still work if you work it! I wish you so much Good Luck and please keep us posted on how things are going for you!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs, Tracy B

Thanks for the great advice Tracy! We all know "what" to do...it's just getting that momentum up again, and just having people like you behind me really helps. That is a good idea...setting smaller goals at a time, so it doesn't look so out of reach. Thanks again! Theresa

I haven't been on in awhile. Welcome to Grad's. First, I would like to say that recognizing the problem is over half the battle. I have been vehement in my approach, because I do not want ever to get the 20 to 30 pound bounce back that so many of us get. As soon as the snap on my jeans is tight, that means I am at the 6 to 8 pound regain and I drop right back to basics. That doesn't mean I do not make food mistakes - I am human. However, I am not going to do them to the point of regain. Another thing that keeps me slender - I still drink two 30 gram protein shakes every single day. Sometimes three. Protein shakes help to metabolize. We cannot get the amount of protein we need from food - our guts do not magically return to the way they were. We malabsorb for LIFE. My shakes insure that I am getting enough protein to help me metabolize my food and keep me from losing lean muscle mass. Good luck!

Hi Angel, Thanks for the advice. Yes, I'd like to get back to getting more protein in. I still drink one atkins shake a day, but I think I will up that....I'm sure that will help with the snacking too. Again, thank you! Theresa

the rule of 5 does work - Breakfast - mid morning - lunch - mid afternoon - Dinner Mid-morning and mid-afternoon meals are generally the protein shakes I couldn't stand the texture of the Atkins shake stuff. Gave away a bunch of it and I tend to get 100% whey with branch chain amino acids, such as GNC or EAS [EAS can be gotten at Target for $13!!!]

OMG - I was beginning to feel like the only one! I am 4 yrs and 3 mos out and I have regained 20 lbs. I too feel like I am sabotaging what I have accomplished, yet feel powerless to stop. I have good intentions and then they go out the window. My biggest demon is sweets - chocolate in particular. I am now, for the second day, wearing a Hoodia weight loss patch that I got through a free one-week trial. It seems to be helping with my cravings so far. But we'll see what happens this week with it. If you would be interested in helping each other through this - email me and let me know. Maybe a one-on-one buddy would help each of us stay motivated and we can cheer each other on. Take care. Pam

I have written essentially the same post several times over the last year - but the scale still goes up. I would be interested in hearing more about the patch, especially if you find it helps with cravings. That's my deamon - CRAVINGS! I spent lots of money going to counseling last year (Feb thru Nov) with an eating disorder counselor, but to no avail. I had RNY 5/7/03, and I'm 30 lbs over my lowest weight. I can't believe after going through everything we've all gone through, we're right back to the beginning - or on our way there - fighting the scale, and ultimately our health. The back to basics, protein only thing won't work for me. If I can't find a "plan" that I can live with, every day of my life, and lose the weight and keep it off, then I'm doomed to fail at WLS. My life has been spent "on a diet" and "off the diet", and I'm tired of it! Sorry, needed to vent... Hugs, Betsy