HELP PLEASE, FRUSTRATED!!! : ' (

I am getting very frustrated here!! I had my surgery on 8/26/03 and went from 375 pounds to 137 pounds for a total of 238 pounds. Some how, without trying or realizing it was happening I have gained back up to 178.5!!! I can't stand this!! None of my clothes fit any more and I don't want to be this heavy. I swore when I got down to 137 I would never regain. Boy was I wrong! Anyway, my new years resolution of course is to get this weight back off and get back down to where I wanted to be. I have been monitoring my calorie intake and trying to stay between 1000 and 1200 calories a day. According to everything you read that should be low enough to lose weight that if you go any lower you won't lose because your body thinks you are starving. Well apparently it isn't low enough for me to lose weight!! My scales haven't budged one ounce!! I a getting so frustrated and discouraged and I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any suggestions? I ordered some protein samples from Vitalady and had intended to add some protein shakes to my diet but that will just increase the calorie intake and probably add weight instead of take it off. I know they say you should eat your three meals a day and not to skip meals because that will mess up your metabolism but it is hard to eat three meals a day and stay within 1000 to 1200 calories!! I am beginning to believe I a going to have to give up eating all together to get this weight off!! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP, I'M GOING CRAZY!!!! Thanks in advance! Sandi

Don't worry, you will get this under control. I agree that you do not want to go any lower than 1000 calories. But remember the most important thing is protein first. What have you been eating recently? Try and go back to basics. Protein first, veggies and then fruit. I know some people start over with liquids for the first week but I cannot do that. Just remember to be patient and it WILL come off. You also might want to up your water and if you don't exercise, try just 30 minutes a few times a week of walking. I know it's hard. I have gained back 19lbs so I just started this week to be really diligent. Good luck and stay positive

Sandi, Don't get discouraged. I am in somewhat the same situation, although not to the degree that you are (I have about 20 pounds to drop). I agree with the poster above: get back to basics. If you concentrate on protein first, whether through shakes or solid foods, you will find in a week to 10 days you will not crave carbs like you probably are right now. You also MUST exercise. I joined Curves, and it is a surprisingly good workout. I have been at it only two weeks and am already starting to see the weight come off. Remember, though.....it won't be as rapid as when you first had your surgery. Think one or two pounds a week. Stick with it and you will be successful! Good luck. Marilyn

Hi Sandi... I'm right there with you. This is my first time back to this site in seven months. In that time I've gained 19 pounds. I'm trying not to hate myself and just get back on track. I know I've earned every single pound as I ate like a sugar hog all through the holidays. I tried to start an Atkins type diet on New Year's Day but screwed it up by lunch time. I feel I'm hungry all the time. Good luck to you and good luck to me and any others who are in our situation. Lynda

I have been doing a lto of learnign on the topic lately. Many of us _ myself included think it will be as easy you lose as initially post op. at that point I was on maybe 3-500 cals a day so I lost fast. Realisticaly, losing a pound of fat means eating 3500 calories less than our body needs over a period of time. if you lose a pound a week that means taking in 500 less calories a day than you need to maintain. 1st step - figure out what you need to maintain. www.exrx.net is a valuable resource of reliable evidence based info and there you can calculate your caloric needs. you can get greeat info on an appropriate diet and exercise plan. and determine an appropriate weight you should be at for your height and body frame. most people greatly overestimate their activity levels and underestimate their calorie intake. Getting a real grip on those with honest record keeping is crucial to success. then add exercise as well. at this point losing 1-2 pounds a week is a realistic goal. we are only into the 2nd week of January, so becoming frustrated at this point is , well, pointless. This is a lifelong project. If you are frustrated after 2 weeks, where does that leave you for the rest of your life? time to think positive and live positive. DIETS DONT WORK. Diets are a temporary quick fix. Lifestyle is what really has to be fixed to take it off and maintain. You are not alone. that vast majority of the people I personally know who have had wls are regaining. sometimes really large amounts. They have not altered their lifestyles to live like a thin person. they are still living in the fat person mentality. They eat crap. they dont exercise. they still take the elevator instead of the stairs and they will drive 5 times around the parking lot for the closest space when they should be parking farther and walking for the exercise and plain active lifestyle. they look at a lunchable as a good choice, and peanut butter as a good source of protein - when it is far more fat than protein. they eat chips and pretzels and popcorn instread of vegetables. They think they deserve the brownie for being good, working hard or being tired or frustrated. If you are having trouble getting into control, time to work with a therapist, preferably one who is very experienced in working with eating disorders. If I drink protein shakes in addition to my good food I do gain... I know some peole swear by them, but excess calories from protein are still excess calories. If you are taking protein supps then count those calories and subtract from the food you are allowed. I wish you lots of luck and send you giant hugs. realize the power inside of you to live strong and healthy!!!

Hi, Sandi! I am so with you here. I'm gaining weight back too, and at this point am really frustrated with my efforts to get it back off. I know what I need to do, though, and can't seem to muster the discipline and motivation to follow through. I don't want to give up either, because I know where that will lead. I am up 25 pounds from my lowest post-surgery weight, and can't seem to get the weight gain to stop. I've never been a good dieter, yet that seems like what I need to do. Although Willow makes some great points in her post about diets not working, etc. I found her post really difficult to read, but then it's hard to face the truth sometimes, isn't it? I guess I am eating too much, eating the wrong things, and not exercising enough. It sounds easy to fix, but it is anything but that. I'm not sure where I'm going to go from here. I have been considering going "all liquid" for a week or so to give myself a jumpstart and just make it more "real" to me that I need to do something serious. Anyway, you know that you're not alone in this struggle. I wish you the best and hope that you'll post again here. Carlita

Sandi- What I've found is when I eat only 3 times a day My body just won't let go of the weight. Three weeks post op I had a sticture and couldn't swallow anything. My doctor didn't think I had a real problem because I was dropping only .5- 1 pound per week. His exact quote, " You must be eating something since you aren't losing that much weight". It took my doctor 3 weeks to believe I had a "real" problem. This taught me that cutting calories didn't neccessarily lead to weight lost. So after much research I started eating 5-6 mini meals per day. I eat roughly every 4 hours. The idea is it takes energy to digest food, which burns calories.Try eating 5-6 mini meals a day, no bigger than 1 1/2 cups. Protein first, veggies second, and than the other stuff. Hope my advice helps you. Good Luck, Donna open rny mar 18 2003 282/140/140

Hi Pooh, Most of us 'Grads' are in the same fix as yourself...struggling! It frustrates me when someone post an answer to what works for them....consisting of exercise, diet etc,etc. Actually there is no simple answer...basically we have to gain control, little by little. We lost control little by little so perhaps we can ease back in control. I had RNY in 2001, lost 145 pounds, now I've gained 30 back. Am I happy with myself?Heck no, but when the word "diet, exercise" comes up, my mind and body goes into nervous shakes and memory of history before WLS and the failed attempts. I guess the word 'diet' sends negative messages to me. (obviously) MY plan is to not eat that extra bite, turn down that slice of cake with coffee, put the candy jar out of reach at work. Gear my mind to health instead of 'dieting'. Maybe, just ,maybe I can turn things around again. Get yourself a plan, TRY (as I am) to stick with it, day after day....and stay off those dreaded scales! They are evil. Let your waist band tell you if your doing okay. Remember dear, I'm with you, I'll support you all the way thru it. I'm 60 years old, and it can be fun...(got to look at it that way at my age). God bless, love and hugs, Marilyn

Hi Sandi I had my surgery 7/02. I as others it seems are in the same boat. It has helped greatly to come back to this sight and find that I am not the only one who is strugginling with this issue. I am scared to death to be obese again. I started out day of surgery at 356lbs. I am 5'9". My lowest was 135 not by choice but because I discovered I have Ulcertive Colitis. After a week long hospital stay 2 years ago. They got my disease under control and put me on permanent medication to keep my bowels functioning properly. I feel as a result in part because I can eat agian finally and because of the meds I too have gained weight. Something I thought would never happen agian. I have tried calorie restriction, exercise, diet pills and nothing seems to work. I am sooooooooooo frustrated. My husband tells me I am ungrateful and that I am in no way fat or overwieght. ( I weigh 165 I prefer 150) that I should be thankful I am thin and healthy now. I tell him he does not understand how devastating it is to me emmotionally to know I can and have gained weight or the ultimate fear associated with that gain. I am determined to lose this 20lbs I have gained and have recommitted to getting back to the basics of right after surgery restrictions. Remember only being able to swallow an ounce of liquid protien and being on the soft food diet for what seemed like forever. Or how about this, measuring food intake and reading labels for sugar and carb content before you put anything in your mouth.For fear that if you didnt you would dump and have to lay down for an hour or so. Or never going anywhere without your water bottle. Not that those were fun times but, in remembering what I went thru in the begining it seems to give me the strength to do what I need to do. I dont know if this helps you or anyone else for that matter but talking with you and others has helped me stay focused and determined. Good Luck!!!! Dede