Am I alone in feeling like this surgery was a mistake?

No - I have never had any physical problems (yet) but mentally I can't shake this regret and fear feeling I have. The famous quote that I read all the time "I would do this in a hearbeat" has never been in my thoughts. I did everything right - two years of research - followed all the rules before and after surgery. But why didn't I take control of myself and do it without taking such drastic measures of changing a normal healthy digestive system into one now that is so compromised that I have to worry about all the things that could possibly happen for the rest of my life. The realization of this extreme surgery ha**** me too late in the game. This past week my friend had emergency surgery for adhesions that had given her an extremly painful life threatening obstruction. Reading this web-site I see that many have had this problem and it is only one of the many that we will always have to watch for. Yes, I no longer have high blood pressure, reflux, and feel better physically and of coarse look better but I still don't think this surgery was for me. I realize it is too late for regrets but if I could turn back time I sure would, I would grab control of my life instead of a surgeon who cut me open like a fish. The reason for my decision to post is I have to know is there anyone else out there that shares my concerns and regrets or am I riding solo on this.

You should NEVER feel guilty for doing what you did to save your life. All of us on this site have tried over and over again to lose weight the "regular" ways, and we have always regained the weight and then some. Obesity is an intractible, persistent malfunction of the body that doesn't just go away if you drop some pounds. Sure, they show people on TV ads who have lost a lot of weight using various programs. How many do you want to bet actually keep that weight off after two years? Even the winner of The Biggest Loser last year regained a lot of weight. He then realized that he was going to have to follow the diet/exercise regimen for the rest of his life, and he is now (again) losing the weight. And look what you have accomplished. You did what you needed to do to save your life. Please, please, give yourself a big pat on the back. There are a lot of psychological changes that go along with this WLS journey. So if you continue to feel depressed and negative about your surgery, please find a good WLS counselor who can help you during this transition. I promise, a good one will really make a difference. Hand in there. You are not alone. We are all on the same journey.

Great post and I think we all have buyers remorse at one point or another. But at this point if your not experiencing any complications, don't sweat it. You can't live in the fear of something could happen. Just listen to your body, and do everything you can to keep yourself healthy. If you had RNY, and you still feel it's a mistake,,there is a possibility for a reversal. I don't think it is common and your insurance may not pay for it, but you could talk to your surgeon about your options...I am sorry you feel this way,,,and hope things get better!!

Denise: Sorry you are feeling this way! Look under the list of forums. There is one called "any wls regrets" Maybe talking to others feeling the same way as you will help! Best wishes!! DeeAnn R

Thanks for your reply Deeann - I would love to look at the "any wls regrets" but cannot seem to find it - can you give me more direction please. Denise

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/any_wls_regrets/ I found it by going to the OH home page (click on "Home" on the blue bar at the top of this forum's page), then clicking on the "more" link on the beige or light yellow Featured Topics box on the left-hand side of that next page, then looking on the "WEight Loss related forums" listing. Sue O.

Denise, I guess I really don't understand---you feel better, look better, have lost all of your co-morbidities, but are worried about some things that might happen? If you read about six posts down on this board asking the question of those 3 years out or more, all of the responses say that we might have had some problems, but all of us say we're glad we had the surgery. It's often said they perform surgery on our stomachs, not our brains. I suggest you go to a psychologist that has experience with wls patients to discuss your fears and regrets. I personally choose to focus on the positives of my experience rather than worrying about what might or might not happen. Connie -147#

You are not alone....I am so sorry I had this surgery. It will be 2 years in February. Last January, I had a bowel obstruction. Then around March a hole opened up in my stomache and the surgeon couldn't figure out what the problem was so he kept trying to heal it inside out with packing, etc. At any rate wound up in the hospital a few months later full of bacteria almost died twice during two separate surgeries. I am so disappointed in myself for doing this 'til some days I just don't want to face things. If only..... But, we are here now and have to live with it. I tell everyone I know not to do this! Go to the gym, etc. I thought I would be happy now but I am so depressed that I'm on anti-depressants and am thinking about going back into therapy. Email me if you like. Sheila

Dear Denise, I am sorry you feel this surgery was a mistake, but as a former English major, I am intrigued by your language choices. You "feel" regret and you "worry" about things that could "possibly" happen. Yet you "researched" the proceedure to prepare yourself. Is the source of your concern a disconnect between your reasoning and your emotions? You list the benefits you've experienced (reason) but then still are fearful (emotions). I suspect both your reasoning and emotions are sound--the problem is finding a balance. Did you let reason run roughshod over feelings when you made the decision? Now it may be your feelings are trying to get the attention you previously didn't give them. Everyone finds their own balance, but it takes some processing. I don't beat myself up for chosing a drastic medical treatment that works--think for example how drastic chemotherapy or masectomies are--over a safer treatment that doesn't (except for 5% of dieters)--think apricot pits--because I do believe that obesity is a disease. Yes my behavior made it worse, and I take full responsibility for that, but the disease made my body work against me when it came to weight. Now my body does not work against me, so my behaviors have positive results. The treatment for obesity requires more than just behavior modification. Yes, I will always need to be concerned about bowel obstructions--so I do what I can to avoid them. And I will need to take my supplements--so I do. And I may need my gall bladder out at some time or develop kidney stones. That is the long term cost of the treatment. But I made that decision based on reason and emotions. I had to admit that I could not do it on my own, just like I can't survive cancer without treatment. I am curious as to what your starting weight was? I was so heavy that the surgery was really my only option. It is easier to not have regrets when there were no other choices to make. I do wish you the best and hope you find a place of comfort with your decision and your tool. And while I have no regrets, I suspect there are those who do. Sally

Excellent reply, Sally! You make some great points and have given me some thoughts to reflect on. Matt