Confessions - opinions wanted

OK, This is going to be hard but I am going to lay this out like it is. I took some time off over the holidays to try to evaluate my life and what and why I am doing things. First of all I have been heavy all my life then with pregnancies it just went up compounded with a bad marriage i got up to my highest weight of 280. I had WLS a little over 3 years ago now (WOW cant believe it has been that long). Since then I have gotten a divorce and trying to move on with my life. My lowest weight was 145 (I was kinda sickly looking then actually was sick had a hysterectomy and few other health issues) so i got up to about 155 after recovering from the hyst. surgery and fell that this it the weight i should stay at. The problem is I have gained 29 LBS in the past 6 months. So I wieghed yesterday at a wopping 184 I am so dissappointed in my self. I new I had gained and I new I had been eating and making bad choices hense the time off over the holidays to figure out why. I have secluded myself because I feel like such a failure, yall had so many gt toghethers lately I wanted to go to but felt like everyone would say what i was thinking or think what I was thinking in that I am a failure at this, I was given a great resource and blew it. So this is what I have come to terms with. I have a eating problems growing up and through my marriage I replaced the confort,, love, and attention I was lacking with food. After my surgery and I started feeling better about myself I replaced it with drinking, partying, and sex. I know people (men) where giving me attention because they wanted sex, but i miss took that for wanting me as a person. I am now in a relation ship have been for about 8 months now with a great man. Problem is he is not very touchy feely so I started to eat again to confort that part of me. I have talked to him about this and was completely honest with him about my past and issues with food. He is very supportive and suggested I get some therapy, he kinda joked and said not with a doctor lets start working out together, This made me so happy he is willing to help me work thru this and come out a winner. Not sure what else to say i am sure I left out stuff and rambled, but please any and all comments are welcomed.

Support groups are there exactly for this reason. Go to a local support group and you may find others there willing to help you in person. You may find someone you can call when you feel like you need to comfort eat. Also, these support groups on the net can help if you are willing to take the advice given. Having your guy help you with your workouts will be nice but don't take his suggestions as criticism. You still have your tool, use it. Examine your pantry and throw away anything that shouldn't be there, alot easier to stay away from it if it isn't easily accessible. Start keeping track of what you're eating, are you eating your dense protein, are the carbs in your diet healthy carbs, are you drinking enough water? Be sure to take those vitamins. Try to get some exercise in every day. Walking will do. Just keep challenging yourself to do a little more a little harder. I find that weighing myself every day helps me stay accountable to myself. For some, this is just too much stress. But it's helped me from day one and I plan on weighing myself daily forever. It's easier to address a few lbs than 30. We have a great support group here. Several of us have started walking together and we get involved in local walkathons and races. That's the motivation for me to continue walking. I got started when I realized I started to exercise less and less. Then someone asked me to be in a relay race and I decided then and there that I would do it. That forced me start walking cuz I didn't want to disappoint the other members. Why don't you and you guy find the next 5K (only 3.1 miles) and join. Might work! That's how I started last March of 06 and I completed my first official half-marathon in November (13.1 miles). I joined our local Boise Run/Walk club and will be training for the Robie Creek half marathon (8 miles up and 5 miles down) and hope to complete a marathon by the end of 2007. Mind you, I have never exercised to this extent before and I'm 51. HTH Linda

B, You have some positive things going on. First, you're 96 lbs. lighter than before your WLS. Second, your guy sounds like a good one. Yes, we men aren't always great communicators, I'm guilty on that one as well. I know you've probably heard it before, but to get back on track, stick with the basics that brought you success in the first place. Getting in your protein, water, activity, etc. As far as the emotional issues you have, please don't isolate yourself into a vicious cycle of eating, depression, eating, etc. I'm sure there are some folks who are better qualified to offer opinions/advice on some of the other things you talk about. All ramblings are welcome. Take care, Doug

Hey there!! OK if you read some of my posts I can tell you most of are just like you and have had a lifetime of bad eating. Oh I can tell you I am the bad girl of BAD FOOD!! Although I never got to goal I started at 317 , was 294 when I had surgery and was 185 for a long time, I gain and loose about 10 pds every now and then. Now me I am happy at 185 since I work out, weight train, excersie at least five days a week. I am a size 10-12 and I think everything is in a good place with the exception I have no butt, LOL! I make these little mental deals with my self and every single morning/day I set out to do something-ANYTHING!! Sometimes I make it and sometimes I don't . The key is to have a plan to get back to where you want to be. I weigh in weekly, started to keep track of my eating again and try to do something healthy like a 5k or something. I did the 26.2 in Chicago a couple of years ago but my knees are not cooperating. Find what you like and do what you can to get back, I recently and experierencing high blood sugars which really scares me since I was type 2 for only two months before surgery .... I am scared about that but the only thing I am doing different is eating BAD carbs- and I know it!! Carbs be gone !!! I am going back to my dietian to see how to make sure I have enough food to work out and no raise my blood sugar ect... Maybe a touch base with a nutritionist would be good too. Ok now that I have ramble I just want to say you are not alone, many of us are ashamed to admit our failures but keep you chin up, pick yourself up and keep at it. We'll get it right one of these days!!! peace and hugz to you!! Kim

Congrats on your weightloss! I know there are periods of time when I totally avoid the scale because I know I haven't been making good choices. Another wlser told me that I have to make the scale my friend....very hard to do since it has humiliated us and made us feel like failures our whole lives. But weighing yourself was a very brave first step to getting back on track. You're very lucky to have a supportive partner, but ultimately, you have to have faith in yourself and know you can achieve the goals you want for yourself. I, too, isolate myself from valuable support when I'm feeling disappointed in myself. I am going through a rough patch emotionally now and gave myself 2 days of isolation and then just forced myself to go through the motions of joining the world again. I'm in a better place now, because I made myself get out of my bed and seek support. You can do it. We are so lucky in that we have this tool and all we need to do is help it do it's job. Even when we go way off track, it's always possible to go back to basics to remind us of how it's supposed to work. You did not blow it. You are human; this surgery, while a wonderful gift, is not miraculous. I hope you feel better soon..pick yourself up, wipe the dirt off of your knees, and just move forward. (Hugs) Julie

I can only echo what others have said. However, I must compliment you on your insight and willingness to look into yourself and the reasons for some of your behaviors. That is a difficult thing for many to do. It sounds as if you are on the right track. Good luck.

I don't know. Maybe its that 3 year mark. Thats where I am and I am struggling. I never got to my goal wieght.. and haven't gained but mayb 5 lbs, but I never got to my goal! I am not unhappy where I am with my weight.. but find myself out of control with the eating and I think I am going to go right back up. It isn't easy.

Hello Kathy I am overweight 237 lbs and I am going thru the process of getting approved for surgery. I am planning to keep taking counseling after my pysch evaluation. I will need help with the reasons I overeat. I do not want to loose the weight only to put it back later. Maybe getting counseling could help you also; you worked hard to lose the weight do not make it in vain.

Your confession rings true for many of us, and you're showing your bravery and strength in posting what's been going on. This is hard stuff and emotional eating is a battle that i'm still working through as well. It's a familiar comfort when everything else isn't the way we want it and we're looking to fill the void. And, girl...it sounds like you've definitley had your fair share of hard times. I wanted to recommend an author that has really helped put some things in perspective for me regarding emotional eating. Her name is Geneen Roth (geneenroth.com )and she's written a ton of books such as, "When Food is Love", "Feeding the Hungry Heart", and "Appetites". She writes on a very personal level and I feel like she totally understands what it's like to be an emotional eater and has helped me put some things in perspective when i realize i'm eating for reasons other than hunger. Even if you're not usually a reader, trust me, her books are wonderful and a quick and easy read. Good luck to you. we can all get through this together.

Gurl friend I am right there with you!! Had WLS on 11-9-04. Highest weight 323. Lowest after surgery 197. I am afraid to get on scale now . But a couple weeks ago it was 220. OMG. I am ashamed and hear you loud and clear! I am getting back on track. Going to track my protiens carbs water and get back to a regular exercise routine. I was on the treadmill last night 30 min and bike for 20. Had a salad for lunch. So I am started to get back on track. We can l be each others support buddies if you want. Let me know!! Liz