It's my real birthday and I'm down in the dumps....

Hi everyone... I am gaining weight and it is due to stress at work and my old emotional eating habits. My rebirthday is December 9th. I have gained 20 pounds and am very ashamed of myself. I am dodging people that went thru the whole process with me and know I am gaining weight. I have only been at my new job for 4 months. It is what I love to do there is only one problem. There is a military man running this business who is only 30 years old and has never done anything else but be an army captian in his life. He has stepped in to this business and is trying to run it like he is still a captian in the army. I have been doing what I do for 20 years so it is hard for me to take direction when I know what I am doing. I have already been to the ER for hives related to this situation. We are finally communicating about all of this but in the meantime I have gained all this weight and feel so bad about myself in this short period of time. I feel like a failure. I just need some motivation from someone that has been in the same situation or understands. Maybe we can be each others motivational buddies. I turned 42 today and don't have room for crap in my life.....I am going thru eleminating alot of extra baggage that has to do with old habits, trying to make a better life for myself, husband and children. I just can't get motivated on excersise. I can't leave chocolate alone. I am into bread. I am a mess. Please, is there someone out there that can help>??? My husband is very helpful but he isn't an emotional eater and has problems understanding that part. Sorry if I sound whinny....but I am and I need help. Betsy

Betsy, Hi -my name is Deb and I am 22 months out. Let me tell you I have not been in your shoes. Can I still try to help? For the chocolate thing going on - this is how I take care of that - because I have chocolate everyday at least 3 times aday. Shocking isn't it - LOL! I have my chocolate hot other words hot chocolate - I use 2 sweet n low or other sweetner, 1 T. cocoa powder and 1 T. powdered creamer. Add ho****er - it will seem thin but it is well worth the try. This has been a real comfort for me when I have been stressed with family problems. I'm so glad your husband is willing to help you out, that is such great support - give him a big thank you kiss for his help. Do you have the time maybe on one of your breaks to go for a short walk? Just getting away from work for a short time is a real mental break. It was for me when I worked in an office - esp. getting away from the phones ringing. Remember we don't beat ourselves up ANYMORE - it didn't work then and it still doesn't work now...brush yourself off and smile you still have that great wonderful tool to work and I expect you to work it again and again. There is no shame in gaining weight - but it would be a shame if you didn't take care of it while it is small. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! Take care and I hope this helped - God bless deb k

Thanks Deb....any little bit will help me. I am going to try your cocoa....my husband is at the store and I told him what to pick up He is way too good to me... Thanks again.....

Hi Betsy, first off Happy Birthday, I turned 42 myself in June. Now on to the eating and stress. I can totally relate, I'm definitely an emotional eater, *sigh*. I was on a very slippery slope just recently, way to many carbs and sugar (I don't dump). Saw the scale up above my max allowable weight and freaked out.....geez I felt horrible and all the old stinking thinking came back, will I fail again . What worked for me? Going on a 3 day liquid diet, yea it was tough the first day but I was bound and determined to stop myself before I felt totally out of control. So for 3 days I had the following ONLY: 2-3 protein shakes (made with water), 1-2 s/f popcicles (more shouldn't hurt), s/f jello, 1-2 cups of broth and all the crystal ligh****er and decaf coffee I wanted. I actually lost 6 lbs in 3 days, which gave me the incentive to refocus and get back on the bandwagon. It's great to hear your hubby is there for you and supporting you. Maybe you can get your husband to walk or do other exercise with you.....getting away from the food and clearing your mind should help tremendously. Your tool is there, believe in yourself....refocus and stay positive. Kuddos for realizing you need to do something now before it becomes uncontrollable and feels out of reach. Best wishes, Dana

Boy, do I know. I just posted last week for the first time in ages. I am 3.5 yrs out and have a regain of 20# as well. I am back on track following the rules and feel physically so much better. Mentally as well. I just need the great folks here to tell me to get my A@# back in gear!! It is so hard to stay the course and follow the rules. I am an emotional eater as well, Happy, sad, depressed, excited.....food!!! Carbs esp. I love food, it has been my friend for so long, it is so hard to let that go. But, I love my size 8 jeans even more!! I have recently gotten married, quit my job, moved to Germany and left everything I know behind. And my answer to the stress was to eat. I feel what you are saying. It is hard. Take a look in the mirror at what you have accomplished so far! You are amazing....you have done what others so wish they could! You had the surgery!!! You are going to be successful!! This is not a diet, this is our life. Go back to the basic, follow the rules. It works, we just have to let it. I am here anytime you want to chat. Cheri

Betsy: You don't sound "whiny" at all - just real! Just remember, they didn't do any surgery on our heads. We still have to work at this every day. And we will, just some days will be better than others, some months will be better than others, some.... you get the idea. Please don't beat yourself up. You'll get a handle on this. I'm a choco-holic, too, and a breadaholic as well. If you can't leave chocolate alone - and I can't either - the best thing to do is attempt to "manage" your intake. That is how I handle it. I don't think I could ever give up chocolate candy totally, so I know that I have to "allow" for it. I recently experienced some re-gain (about 20 pounds) and am working on getting exercise into my life, which is something I was never good at, and actually did not do after WLS, until just recently. I believe that getting the exercise is at least keeping me from gaining more weight, but I haven't lost any either. Further dietary changes will need to be made for me to lose any weight, I'm sure. Here's something else for you - and all of us - to ponder. Most of our docs will tell us to expect a bounce-back regain of 10-20%, and although it doesn't happen to everyone, it happens to a lot of us. And since it's expected, really, why do we beat ourselves up so much? OK, I hope that I have made you feel a little better. I hope your work situation improves, and things settle down for you. That alone could help make a big difference in how you handle things. Best wishes, Carlita