Being Honest - finally

Ok, here goes. I had RNY 3 yrs ago. Mainained 142# for two years. Now I am gaining. I know why I am, I not following any of the rules. I have not seen a doc or had labs in at least a year. (my surgeon moved a yr after surgery) I weighed 161.5 this morning. My reasons are mutliple, divorce, lost my job, moved to Germany, etc, etc... They are all just excuses. I am not taking care of myself. The more I gain, the more depressed I get and the cycle is starting again. I eat until I am so full that I have to vomit and then eat again. I have NEVER admitted the vomiting to anyone before. I am lost. I need support, I need a friend. I need someone to hold me accountable. I want to help someone else stay on track as well. I need a WLS buddy. Is there someone who needs a friend too?

Hi Cheri You are so lucky to have realized your needs with only 20 pounds of regain. I know that it will not be easy, but you will be able to return to your maintenance weight. You just need to have confidence in yourself. You sound like you know the rules and you know what has been causing you to stray. I've been suffering through similar life changing situations and trying very hard not to lose sight of my personal goals. I know it is difficult, but put your health first. Once you start to focus on improving your intake, add some additional exercises. If yo have a friend nearby, perhaps you can start a walking routine. If you are separated from friends and family, try the local shopping mall. They offer walking clubs for seniors in the early morning hours. Might be a good alternative to get you started and to drum up some local support. I walked with the seniors when I was off-work and newly post-op. It was a fantastic experience. I'm a long way from you. I live in Canada. However, you have my support anytime you need it. I can be your cyber-shoulder. Many blessings, Karen G [email protected]

I am right there with you, only I don't vomit. I also have regained the same amount of weight. I am going to attend a support group meeting tonight for people with eating disorders. I never wanted to admit that before. I would love to email each other for help!

Cheri - I think you have made the first step in getting help and support. I really hope you get your labs done - you don't want something to "pop" up later that you could have taken care of now. Also it would help with your weight loss to make sure your B12, Iron, ect. are in the right range. The thowing up issue is scary but at least you have admitted the problem and want help. I think seeing a professional for eating disorders might be a step in the right direction. I had my surgery in May 04 and fight each day to maintain my weight - I recently had to go back to all protien because of some weight gain. Others have done a liquid diet that has worked. This is a great source of information, support, honest feed back and comfort knowing you are not alone in your situation. I am sure I am not alone in this - we are all here for you - people are on line at all hours - if you feel you need to talk get on line. If you need a "kick in the behind", get on line - that is what makes this a great group!! Valerie

suggesting an all liquid or all protein diet to a person with an eating disorder is like throwing gasoline on a fire, even accompanied by a suggestion to see a professional. Those diets are part of having an eating disprder. the issue is not the weight gain but the eating disorder that could go out of control and kill somebody. It is not just you, but a part of the mentality I am seeing so much. This site frequently resembles the sites out there for the support and encouragement of those who see anorexia and bulemia not as eating disorders but as a lifestyle choice. the all protein and liquid diets are part of that mentality. I would encourage anyone who is resorting to those measures, struggling with regain or any other issues with eating ormaintaing weight to seek professional help. an excellent book out there is "How Much Does Your soul Weigh" by Dorie McCubbrey.

what you are describing could be bulemia/ binge eating disorder. For your health, please see someone who specializes in eating disorders before you damage yourself. Possible complicartions could include electrolyte imbalances, rupture of your esophagus, erosion of your teeth, just for starters. while you DO need a friend, you also need someone who has the expertise to really help you. You are not alone. there are many out there who are having the same problems with out the courage to admit it out loud. I wish I was there to give you a big giant hug. You have a tough fight ahead of you. BUt, YOU CAN DO IT! Look at all you have accomplished!

Oh my goodness. Well admitting it is half the battle. You know what to do, you know how to do it. Now you just need to commit to doing it. 20 pounds is better than 50 - so get back on the wagon sister! I don't get on the site much anymore, but you can email me and I'll be your buddy. Take care....

I am right in there with you. As a matter of fact, I just weighed myself for the 1st time in a while and ended up being 43 pounds over my lowest (after surgery) weight. I was at 135!! I have been so upset with my choices lately but have totally refused to change them. :nono: We can't do this to ourselves. Think of all the things you had to deal with from the surgery and how hard you tried to stick to the rules. I got on Fitday.com today to start keeping track of my food intake and decided to start some exercising (which I had never done). I also haven't been on the message boards in a while and really think that checking in with people who have no mercy and have been through similar things will really help. I sure could use a kick in the a.. too! Trina

THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! All of they replies have been so awesome! I have had a good week. Back to the basic! I am logging on fitday, drinking protein, taking vitamins, NO vomiting because I am not stuffing myself! I am following the rules for the first time in a long time. It is so hard to deal with the "head hunger" but it is so much easier with all of your support!!!