body image taking a beating tonite

Thanks!!!!!!!

Willow, I'm glad you found something that you felt good in! Guys have no idea how hard it is for women to shop~its not so much that we're picky as it is there's sometimes not alot out there to chose from! You get the teenager stuff that isn't gonna cut it (or cover everything, LOL), you have the motherly stuff that keeps everything covered but doesn't reflect my personality.......I'm somewhere in between those 2 and that's hard to find these days! Glad you're feeling better about things though! Have fun at the opening! Tracy B

I hear you on the clothes - so much is stuff my grandmother would reject as too old fashioned, and most of the other stuff is near to naked. I need to invent my own clothes, start sewing - why cant they make a sexy dress with 3/4 sleeves?

Do any of you watch "What Not to Wear" on TLC? It is the most interesting program. It teaches you about how to dress for your body shape and coloring, never mind what other people think. Two major points they make: 1) find what looks good for your body shape and buy those things (ignore current fashions), and 2) get things tailored if you need to. I use a seamstress at a dry cleaning store down the street to take my pants up, since I have short legs. My daughter has a nice size booty but a tiny waist, and always had trouble fitting into pants, until she discovered that if she went up a size, but in Petites instead of Regulars, they fit much better. That doesn't sound logical, but it works. I also do a lot of shopping on the Internet. I keep an eye open (always) for tops with sleeves, and when I find one I like, I order it. It can be hard finding them during the summer months, but the Web has lots of good sites. Check out Spiegels, J. Jill, Soft Surroundings, Boston Proper, etc. Nordstroms. Bloomingdales. Chicos. And they are all very good about returns. A lot of the clothes are stretchy and comfy, too. I hate spending hours shopping in stores, and the styles can be limited, so shopping on the Internet is wonderful. Waiting for a package to come is fun, too!

I love that show, wish I could go on it, with out losing the clothes I have that I like tho. yes, If I find pants that fit well, I buy 2 pairs, and when I was shopping w/ dh one day ( at gander mountain, a sporting goods store) they had a bunch of 3/4 sleeve t shirts and I bought 6 of them in different colors. he thought i was crazy, but he can walk into a store and buy a pair of pants off the shelf, not try them on and he really doesnt care if he looks great or if the seat of the pants looks baggy etc. I figure if it fits, and is something I really like I might never find it again. I have been trying for ages to get him to stop wearing elastic waist running shorts, with white socks and brown shoes, when we are going some place. he really doesnt care at all about fashion etc.

I can't tell you the pleasure and kindness that came out when I asked for some help finding an outfit for one of those kind of events. I was at a stage where I had lost so much, but still didn't think I belonged in a "normal" store. I knew I had problem areas to deal with but really really wanted to feel like I looked good for the first time in years! I walked into the very foreign territory of the Banana Repulic. I felt like I was in a trench coat and dark glasses going in. It's a *****i chi for me, but seem young and new yet not too young and new for my age. I NEVER want help, but when I slinked out of the fitting room to look in the 3-way mirror, this very young, well dressed Asian guy saw me and told me "that's too big" you need this...." Pretty soon he was dressing me and we were freely discussing if my back fat showed at all or how my knees looked with the shoe style. It was way too expensive, but I do think things look better and fall from nicer fabrics at the higher end. The staff is usually very available and has people say "no thanks I don't need help" all day. He was genuinely happy to work it and I felt comfortable because I didn't know him. Part of it is excepting your body and being at peace with it. I also do think there are just right clothes that can manage to make it all work and feel so good. I don't like to take my friends or family shopping because I am way to sensitive about my body issues to be open with them, but a stranger *****ally wants to be nice and knows what they are doing can be fun and a blessing. I do appreciate that my husband seems to be honestly considering what he knows are my trouble spots and tries to give me honest advice to steer me in a good direction. He takes into consideration the event and my mood and hormones at that time and answers accordingly. He does want to live afterall! I bet you looked mavalaaaaaaassss! Patty