body image taking a beating tonite
I was shopping for an outfit to wear to a restaurant opening tomorrow night, they are being featured on the fine living network in a show called opening soon, and film crews are supposed to be there. We were invited to the opening because my DH was helping out the owners with some electrical work & a sound system.
i shopped, shopped, shopped and found NOTHING that I felt good in. 
My waist is disproprtiionate to my hips and when the butt on slacks fits good the waist was too tight and when the waist fits the butt bags. I felt like I look bulgy or baggy in about everything. I ended up not buying anything at all, so I dont know what I am going to wear, most of my nicer clothes are summer.
Then when I was trying on shirts, it seemed like the scars from my arm lift were growing before my eyes. I usually forget about them. I am used to wearing sleeveless and short sleeve tops, I lived in tank tops over the summer, so I dont know why suddenly they seem like a big deal. I have worked out weight lifting really hard and they are fit, have nice muscle definition, and look good other than the scars.
just venting. I called my DH he was still working (and still is) and told him about the shopping and I hate my body and his response was that I was just going to have to live with my body the way it is... OK he is right, but a little sympathy would have been nice. 
he is usually a great guy but tonite, I dont like him very much. I dont like anything very much. 
My waist is disproprtiionate to my hips and when the butt on slacks fits good the waist was too tight and when the waist fits the butt bags. I felt like I look bulgy or baggy in about everything. I ended up not buying anything at all, so I dont know what I am going to wear, most of my nicer clothes are summer.
Then when I was trying on shirts, it seemed like the scars from my arm lift were growing before my eyes. I usually forget about them. I am used to wearing sleeveless and short sleeve tops, I lived in tank tops over the summer, so I dont know why suddenly they seem like a big deal. I have worked out weight lifting really hard and they are fit, have nice muscle definition, and look good other than the scars.
just venting. I called my DH he was still working (and still is) and told him about the shopping and I hate my body and his response was that I was just going to have to live with my body the way it is... OK he is right, but a little sympathy would have been nice.
he is usually a great guy but tonite, I dont like him very much. I dont like anything very much. 
Willow, I am new to this forum, but from what I could see you looked pretty darn good to me. I know that at 5 months out, I suffer lots of body image problems. I hope you feel better about yourself. Keep the chin up and smile...I don't know, maybe a smile will help with the image thing. Have a great Sunday.
thanks i feel better today. I went shopping sunday after work, ( and got home with only minutes to change, and did find a great outfit - thank you new york and company for your petites!! I am also real short waisted and most pants come way too high on me, but found a pair of cream color lower cut slack, a gold lace cami, and a cream colored sweater with gold trim.
I have to say I looked nice and I think DH was very proud to go on camera with me, the show should air in january on the fine living network, named opening soon and the place is called Mason's Martini Grill.
Hi Willow! ((((((((((((((((big hug)))))))))))))) I hear ya. I have that problem too. I've never weighed this "normal" weight in my life, never felt so good, and sometimes I think I look just awful! Until I get the tt or abdominoplasty or whatever I need, I have a hard time buying jeans. The size 12 is usually baggy in the legs but the 10 won't go over the skin! Forget short sleeve shirts of any kind, my batwings are BAD! And my turkey waddle is awful! But then, I look at the picture as a whole, and most days I don't let the saggy skin bother me, and I'm so thankful for this surgery and my results. I'm happy, but once in a while - whew! So I know what you mean and I feel for you! I didn't realize shopping could be so challenging after losing the weight, but it still is most times. I hope you keep looking cuz I'm sure you'll find just the right outfit for the special occaison!! Don't give up, you'll find something and you'll knock 'em dead!!
By the way, I still make the recipe on your profile for the buffalo-style chicken, and everytime someone new tries it I always tell them this neat lady on OH named Willow gets the credit!!! Also, one day I showed my sweetie the pictures of you and your DH from when you first met and married, and he got tears in his eyes. You see, we met at age 18, married, blew it, divorced and then just found each other this last summer and are back together for good, 5 teenagers between the two of us and all! So we spend a lot of time reminiscing about our beginning, and your pictures are touching! Just wanted you to know. Anyways, chin up sweetie and good luck finding your outfit, have a better day today!!! Jeanne in Miami 
I thought when I lost weight, suddenly shooping would be so easy since I wasn't looking for clothes to fit a 260 pound 4'11" person ( no one make clothes for that, and I never found anything to fit thru the shoulders and sleeves, and wore elastic waist everything YUCK!
I love your story of you and your DH, it is good you found each other again.
glad you like the chicken recipe!!!
It must be the season....I can't wait to get the PS....nothing looked right on me last weekend....I could not find pants or dresses I liked. The wide pouch out front really makes it tough to find things that I like on me. I didn't share with DH because I figure I would hear you look great you are too critical on yourself speech....Don't worry the right outfit will come along and it will be the best looking outfit you could ever wear...Now we don't have to settle to what will fit our bodies....And we are still having problems with clothes. You can win this battle it only takes time and lots of stores. Debbie
I know how you feel. I'm only 2 weeks out from my TT and my body is so wacked out in measurements. I technically need a size 2 in the waist but a 10/12 in the hips and thighs. The crotch of pants hangs on me but I need the larger size for my thunder thighs. I just bought a bunch skirts in my frustration to find any pants that fit. I still got to hand sew some darts in to fit the waist to me better. I'll be glad to get this buttock/thigh lift, but not the pain involved. I think I'm more unhappy with my body now than I was at 318 pounds!
So vent away, I'm right there with you!
Jane
Hi! - remember this?
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."
Anatole France
...we must die to one life before we can enter another."
That's it. Remember? The "old way of thinking" - the self-deprecating thoughts that so many of us had pre-op? The "beating ourselves up" thoughts when we walked by a mirror - the self-condemnation? Willow, we must "die" to one life before we can enter another! "Die" stinking-thinking!" DIE~!
You are amazing! You're so beautiful and you've come such a long way! Just read some of these ACTUAL improvements on your precious body (from YOUR profile):
Other concerns - pre op / post op almost 1 year later / 2 years
3. hypertension / gone, no meds bp running 105/70 / excellent
5. back pain, sciatica with hip and leg pain / gone / still gone
6. wheezing ? asthmatic episode lasting several months last winter requiring intervention with steroids (Medrol dosepack) and Maxair inhaler. / absolutely no more wheezing / perfect
7. Wheezing and/or shortness of breath with exertion such as climbing stairs / I run them now, several flights without stopping / even better
Shall I continue? You had 16 items!
Okay, now the hard fact your wonderful husband cannot possibly be your source of "sympathy" and understanding. People are people and will let you down. You know that.
You, you, you, you. It's gotta (English major!) start with YOU.
ALSO: unless clothing is CUSTOM made - it is made for "the masses". "Generic size" charts. The clue here is "GENERIC". You are you. UNIQUE. INDIVIDUAL! WONDERFUL!!! AMAZING!! You are NOT "generic". (Heck even Oprah has to have her blue-jeans altered - MOST EVERY PAIR - her butt/waist ratio)
Your "earth suit" may have a wrinkle or scar or lump or bump or two (or ten!), but it serves you well!!! It has made some drastic, incredible changes in the last 4ish years! BE KIND TO "her"!
Also, why not do a quick internet study on clothing and body types. I'm a "pear" - little top & bottom heavy BIG TIME. Certain styles of clothes ( and "support" panty hose) help contain the extra skin on my thighs & bottom & actually make a "firm-ish round" butt kinda happen. (which my husband has decided he likes VERY much - especially since my PREVIOUSLY rather large boobs entirely DEFLATED with the weight loss! haha! figures!)
With the body style (type) you described you're the kind that could wear a light colored bottom (skirt, slacks etc) with a darker top to "balance" you out.
I dunno, but I DO know this:
It is what it is.
(Brilliant!)
No kidding. For real.
You've lost weight. This new body shape of yours is learning how to "be". Give "her" a break. Give "her" a pat on the back!
By the way - as long as it's been since surgery - you could have CHOSEN to regain the weight. You're awesome! You've CHOSEN to keep it off!
That's all for now, dear one. Thought you could use a gentle "cheer" tonight!
You're awesome!
Judy
You are amazing! You're so beautiful and you've come such a long way! Just read some of these ACTUAL improvements on your precious body (from YOUR profile):
Other concerns - pre op / post op almost 1 year later / 2 years
3. hypertension / gone, no meds bp running 105/70 / excellent
5. back pain, sciatica with hip and leg pain / gone / still gone
6. wheezing ? asthmatic episode lasting several months last winter requiring intervention with steroids (Medrol dosepack) and Maxair inhaler. / absolutely no more wheezing / perfect
7. Wheezing and/or shortness of breath with exertion such as climbing stairs / I run them now, several flights without stopping / even better
Shall I continue? You had 16 items!
Okay, now the hard fact your wonderful husband cannot possibly be your source of "sympathy" and understanding. People are people and will let you down. You know that.
You, you, you, you. It's gotta (English major!) start with YOU.
ALSO: unless clothing is CUSTOM made - it is made for "the masses". "Generic size" charts. The clue here is "GENERIC". You are you. UNIQUE. INDIVIDUAL! WONDERFUL!!! AMAZING!! You are NOT "generic". (Heck even Oprah has to have her blue-jeans altered - MOST EVERY PAIR - her butt/waist ratio)
Your "earth suit" may have a wrinkle or scar or lump or bump or two (or ten!), but it serves you well!!! It has made some drastic, incredible changes in the last 4ish years! BE KIND TO "her"!
Also, why not do a quick internet study on clothing and body types. I'm a "pear" - little top & bottom heavy BIG TIME. Certain styles of clothes ( and "support" panty hose) help contain the extra skin on my thighs & bottom & actually make a "firm-ish round" butt kinda happen. (which my husband has decided he likes VERY much - especially since my PREVIOUSLY rather large boobs entirely DEFLATED with the weight loss! haha! figures!)
With the body style (type) you described you're the kind that could wear a light colored bottom (skirt, slacks etc) with a darker top to "balance" you out.
I dunno, but I DO know this:
It is what it is.
(Brilliant!)
No kidding. For real.
You've lost weight. This new body shape of yours is learning how to "be". Give "her" a break. Give "her" a pat on the back!
By the way - as long as it's been since surgery - you could have CHOSEN to regain the weight. You're awesome! You've CHOSEN to keep it off!
That's all for now, dear one. Thought you could use a gentle "cheer" tonight!
You're awesome!
Judy Most Active
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