Has anyone been dumped by someone because you had surgery?

I've never posted before, but been reading for 2 years. I have been divorced for 13 years, never dated because I was too busy raising my daughter and most men did not find a 360 woman very attractive. I was recently fixed up with a nice man and we talked for about 2 weeks and he decided he wanted to meet. I made a bad choice and decided to tell him about my surgery, that was after the date was set. Needless to say I was dropped like a hot potato. Never heard from him again! Has this happened to anyone else? The way I see it, his lost, my gain.

Since I was married when I had surgery and still married to the same guy..no. BUt...you were being honest and upfront..and he obviously was not man enough to handle it!! ANd would you really want a guy who is that shallow? I know I wouldn't. BEtter to have found out now before any attachments were made. THink how much worse it would be if you really began caring for him and told him..then he dumped you. GOod riddance to bad rubbish as mom used to say!! REnee

You are right, I didn't want a guy that shallow! Thanks for the comment. I know God has something better for me!!

Carla, sounds like the same shallow kind of person we fat folks have dealt with our entire dating careers. Be blessed that you didn't waste a moment on him. !!!!!! With Love, Melinda

I don't think you made a "bad choice" by telling him about your surgery. It is what it is and you don't have to be ashamed! You did something for yourself that not everyone will understand. There are perfectly nice people out there that would never understand, but you would be doing a disservice to yourself by being with someone you could not be honest with. It's for the best. You deserve someone that will understand you and care about you and decisions you have made for you! Erika

Thanks, Erika. Sometimes I think we all need a little encouragment!

I am single and so far I have chosen to tell two of the men that I have dated that I had the surgery. Both were very understanding. I think honesty is the best policy. Terry

Hi Carla. I'm married so I've never gone thru this, but I think being honest is always the best policy. I'm not sure if I would have told him before we met, but I would have been upfront right away. I'm very open with anyone and everyone about the fact that I had wls b/c I'm proud of what I've accomplished! I know there are others that are uncomfortable in telling people so they don't tell and that's ok too~its really a personal choice. It sounds like maybe he wasn't the right guy for you if that scared him off. Whats interesting to me is why did he have that reaction??? Was it that fact that you used to be overweight and he couldn't deal with that? Was it that he thought your lifestyle would be difficult to deal with? What was it? I wonder b/c maybe his perception of someone who's had wls isn't quite right. I've had several people that never knew me as an overweight woman say to me (after I've told them that I had wls) that they NEVER would have know it, never would have guessed it! I just seemed "normal" to them, so that's why I said in the beginning that I might have waited to tell him until after we "officially" met in person. Anyway, you're right~HIS LOSS!!!!!!!!! Good Luck to You! Tracy B 328/150 5'9"