Bad Behavior

Hello, my name is Brendon. I am 27 months post op. I have lost about 175lbs and am maintaining at 175 to 180 lbs. I eat healthy most of the time although I am not as strict on myself as I used to be. I give into temptation way too much. Sometimes I find myself trying to eat everything in site (not healthy food) and it surprises me at the amount of food I can actually eat. I sometimes dump late on carbs or sugar. My blood sugar severely drops about 2 hours after I have eaten the wrong food. This has even caused me to pass out a couple of times. But this still isn't a deterant. This isn't everyday behavior and I exercise regularly so I haven't really gained any weight. Everytime I binge I feel guilty and I know that if this behavior continues I will eventually gain weight and could wind up where I started but I continue to do it anyway. Why? The kind of food I eat doesn't scare me as much as the amount. I don't usally measure amounts but I know it is more than I should eat. Don't get me wrong. It is not as much as I could eat pre op and I know that the pouch will stretch, but it is more than I ever thought I would be able to eat post op. Has anyone else experienced this? We know that the behavior is bad but we do it anyway. Why? I am so much happier at 175lbs than 350lbs and I never want to go back but the behavior that got me there is creeping back in. I am so disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I need to regain control before I regain weight. If anyone is dealing with these issues any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Brendan, I am in the same boat and don't seem to be able to get ahold of myself. I know part of it is the strss of a new job, home and relationship. I know I need to go to the gym nd that this would help with bith managing stress and buring calories/upping metabolism. Today, my wieght is up another pound. I am 28 months out and have gained back 10 pounds from my lowest weight- however, I never got down to my goal weight, so I'd like to drop 30 pounds. Today I am going to sign up for fitday again and start tracking my food and exercise again. I seem to need to be accountable in some concrete way. Good luck and keep me posted on you progress. I'll keep you posted on mine. DD

I know so many people whose appetites return. Who feel just the same way they did preop. Unfortunately compulsive eating and food addiction does not get cured with surgery. I have no answers just sympathy. :thumbsup

Brenden, Since you recognize that you're practicing self-destructive behaviour, get with a counselor who has experience with eating disorders, body dysmorphia and WLS. At two years out, it *is* normal that you should be able to eat more - that's not the part that concerns me. What concerns me is that you're passing out & continuing the same behaviour. For *that*, you need professional help. It's not a matter of will power. You have to figure out why you WANT to do these things so that you can feed that need without destroying the rest of you. It's obviously providing *some* benefit, or you wouldn't continue doing it. But it's also hurting you, so you're conflicted. A counselor can help you resolve that conflict. --BT

Brenden, I so feel your pain. I was in your boat at one time. I got professional help, and it was the best money I ever spent along with the money on WLS of course. So, get in therapy. You won't be able to stop the destructive behavior until a therapist helps you to figure out why you do it in the first place. It is not an overnight fix, but with the therapy I live a much better life. I now go just when I feel like I am slipping a little. I went regularly for months. Good luck. Melissa

Hello Brendon, I could have written your post. I feel very much like you in every aspect. I have a history of binging and I can control it most of the time but there are days when I eat constantly all day long. I have gained 10 pounds from my lowest and I know its because of this way of eating. I am a sweet fiend and I can't seem to go a day without it. I too am amazed at how much I can eat and I know its not as much as pre op but close enough. I have wanted to get into counseling but I just cannot afford it. My sugar crashed tend to strike and hour and a half or two hours afterward but I try to eat something in that time period that is a protein/carb combination to avoid this. I have never passed out but feel like it could happen at any time. I try to limit my sweets to one time a day and usually at night before bed. If I give into it any time earlier than that my whole day is shot. I feel for you but you just have to take it one day at a time, or like me an hour at a time. Best Wishes, Candy

I absolutely could have written this almost word for word... though I don't pass out nor do I really experience dumping.. which I wish I did because that could be a deterient... although, maybe not, huh? I was 350-355lbs... I got down to 179 as my stable weight... over an 8 mth period I just kinda didn't care... and thorugh that period i ended up gaining back 20lbs. I was at 197.... I am now back down to 183... taking this thing called the diet source at vitamin world which has helped me lose weight.. I'm working out 5x-6x a week.... NOW, but not then... I can eat whatever I want and too much of what I want... and often what I want is bad bad bad for you..... It's emotional eating... i know it is... an issue that plagues me is that I've lost all this weight, can't afford the plastic surgery.... and have all this (though much less than if I hadn't worked out like a fiend) skin that makes it hard for me and dating and personal relationships... ugh.

I also believe that counseling is a great idea. It's really important for you to confront these issues that cause you to abuse your body. Comfort eating is a challenge of mine. Although I can't say that my problem is as intense as you have described, I realize that I can overdo it when I am feeling stressed or depressed. My weight loss has slowed down too much. I've been at a stand still for a long time. That in itself is depressing. So, what do I do? I started eating foods I knew weren't any good, drinking sodas, and eating candy. Foods that feel good when you are eating them... But destroy you one bite at a time. I now realize that's not the solution. I've recently tried to change that behavior. This week has been a good week. I started workng out again, eating healthy foods, gave up the candy and sodas. As a result, I lost 2 pounds.

Here's the thing... I know why I eat as I do... when I eat too much... it's not a mystery... I think what I need are skills or alternate plans of action when those jittery/self foodabuse moments attack... that's what I am lacking and so in that regard maybe seeing a counselor to become equiped for those times would help. I guess, for the most part I eat exceptionally well... though sometimes too much even if they are good choices... too much of a good thing, ya know.. ugh... it just sucks.