You guys scare the hell outa me...lol

I was reading Becky's post and all the replys I'm obsessive and I already shows signs of a new eating disorder that i'm in councling for. Seems if I eat more then 600-800 Cal a day (200-250 cal a meal)I feel sick and upset and icky, When I talked to the surgon at my 1 yr post op he said that no complications showed up during the exam, I swear he touched my backbone from my bellybutton..lol, so he said See a councler NOW!! He then went on to tell me if I didn't get at least 1000 cal a day my body would go into starvation mode and keep what I had , and that I would start to feel icky for real and not just in my head and if that happened , no plastics or pregnancy could happen saftly. When I gained 18 lbs with the paxil problem I freaked out, big time...I'm I gonna do that at 200 or 180 or 160? how much will be enough? My councler said that I am to focus on 20 lbs at a time and NOT to worry about anything lower till I get to that number. Seems like whatever goal I set , when I reach it i'm not happy...I wanted to be healthy according to the bloodwork...I am, I wanted to lose 100 lbs, I did..I wanted to be under 280 , I am. I thought I would be happy being in a size 22/24, I was...for about a week..lol then I thought gotta get into 20's I did, then I thought well if I get to 250 I'll be okay, I have 7 more lbs to go, I'm not okay. Will I ever be okay? will I be able to stop this? If the people I looked up to all this time can't stop this how can I? Sorry , just venting my fears I guess. I'm gonna print this and take it to the councler also Hugs, Shel

I wish I could says something that would make you feel better, Shel, but it scares the crap out of me, too... I have to admit, up until the last couple of months, this has been a breeze for me. Truly. No complications, no real issues other than tweaking my vitamins a little. I'm under a lot of stress at work now and my personal life is a mess, and that all coincides with what I'm going through with my weight which is why I know I need to talk to someone about it... All I can say is, if you think something's wrong, if it niggles at your brain, it's safer to deal with it with the help of friends, family and professionals rather than ignore it.

Shel, The first step to resolving a problem is to admit that there is one and that is what a lot of us did concerning Becky's post. I fell into the "can't ever lose enough" trap but have pulled myself out. The funny thing is I still would be in the normal BMI even if I lost 20 more pounds. If I wear a 4/6 now at 135 pounds (5'4"), what would I wear 20 pounds lighter??? A 1, a 0???? Most people swear I look like I weigh a lost less, express concern that I am too thin, and I still need plastics. Now I am worried that I will become addicted to PS!!! LOL... Just gotta keep those addictive behaviors in check and do the best we can realizing that we are predisposed to them having been obese due to food addictions in the first place. We have to keep our health, both physically and mentally, in the forefront. After all - that is what it is all about. Good luck to you on your journey!! Sharon

((((Shel)))), sweetie I can't help you......I am working on the issues I have myself....keep going to counciling and work through the fears. Unfortunately I too was shocked to see so many reply to Becky's post, I felt alone in this part of the journey until I read that post. I've printed it and will deal with it as I can. Just remember (I'm telling myself this daily), we want good health, our main objective on this ride, we've gained that, let's work toward staying healthy. Being underweight can be just as dangerous as overweight. Hugs, Dana

Hey surgeon buddy! He's the best! Sorry if we scared you. These are just things that longer term post ops think about and are dealing with~not meant to worry anyone, just a fact of post op life for some. This whole thing is a journey~there are ups, downs, twists, turns~some good, some bad, some expected and some that blind side you. I can say that I am truly a work in progress! You definitely do need to eat more than 600 cal at over a year post op. Restricting calories actually isn't alot of help in losing weight~you're more likely to lose muscle that way. Finding that right balance between calories in vs. calories out is hard sometimes, but you'll get there. Its all trial and error. You've done a great job so far! You'll be ok and you'll know when to stop. The weight just comes off so fast at first and we and those around us are shocked by how quickly it happens. Then when the body finds its "set point" things tapper off and so does the thrill or that quick fix we get from seeing the ##'s on the scale drop. So many of us deal with issues that the surgery didn't/couldn't fix~like my emotional eating behaviors. This is something that I need to work on within myself and so I try, but I'm not quite there yet. We all struggle with our demons and keeping things under control~otherwise we wouln't have ended up being MO. that's where counseling, support groups, OH, etc come in. Congratulations on all of your success! Good Luck and keep us posted on how you're feeling! Hugs, Tracy B 328/150 5'9"