The Oprah Show

I'm sorry I missed that particular Oprah show. I sure wish I could get my hands on it. I have a lot of respect for Oprah. I like the way she makes you think outside the box on so many topics. Even though I didn't get to see it - I still tip my hat to her for addressing a different angle. So often, when someone (or a show) is exposing an angle or complication about WLS or even PS - they focus on the surgical complications or near death or even death experiences.... not so much the psychology of living day to day... or just the plain old psychology of people in general. Personally, I think everyone is "nuts" on some level about something. Just take a stroll through this world today....who wouldn't be affected in some shape or form? I didn't have to have a psych eval prior to wls. I got alllllll worked up and worried to death about it - only to find out that it wasn't required. I was pleased a*****h. I wanted this surgery sooooooooo badly. But the whole time I THOUGHT I was going to have the psych eval, I planned. I planned to never reveal any history of abuse. I planned to never reveal anything about those periods of utter & complete depression. I planned to never admit to EVER feeling suicidal. WHY? Because if I were denied wls because of my honesty about "feelings" or "thoughts" - I would have felt that I was a failure - again. I would have felt that my own stupidity and inability to control my mouth cost me the only thing (in my mind) that could possibly save me from myself. Nuts?? I don't know - but honest thoughts and feelings. I'm guessing that at least 30% of any population that is suddenly cut off from their "vice" or "addiction" replaces it with another "vice" or "addiction" - certainly it's not just the wls patients afflicted with this phenomenon. And that's where the psychology comes in. I fully admit that I have allowed other addictions or obessive compulsive behaviors come into my life and I'm fortunate that drugs & alcohol just don't appeal to me. I'm a little slow to realize it sometimes, but i do catch myself and try to make the adjustments. In fact, it was just about two months ago that I realized I had been shopping obessively. If I wasn't in a store looking....I was online looking....and spending way more money than I should have. It took me gettng some cut off notices in the mail to get a grip on myself. I'm still addicted to Starbucks. Geez I would save so much money if I gave that stuff up. But - I weigh this in my mind as an acceptable vice - sort of my reward for going to work everyday - and as long as there's 20g of protein in it, I figure it's a double bonus. AcheivOne costs just as much - but this tastes better (in my humble opinion). Not that any of that matters - just an example of how my mind works. I think introspection is good for the soul and so is getting help. I gotta say, I'm not sure it would have made a difference whether I adressed the issues of my abuse before or after my wls. I really thought that I had dealt with it prior to wls.... yet, twice in the past month I've had nightmares about it. Up until a month ago, I hadn't had a nightmare about it in YEARS. I seriously don't think it had anything to do with wls though. The first nightmare was a night that my husband was out of town and I was sleeping alone and worried because it was the first night of using the heat since last year. The second nightmare was after receiving an email from a guy that met me at a meeting (I don't remember meeting him or even know who he is) but he wa****ting on me via email and it just creeped me out and made me feel vulnerable - like he was stalking me right in front of my face and I didn't see it. At least, that's my perception of it. I know I personally don't want to deal with all of those feelings of greif and disappointment again - but if the nightmares were to continue, I would get help because my children need me to be at my best and I can't do that without sleep! Anyway - It's not too late for any of us - Pre-op or post-op. The issues that we had before wls....will still be there after wls.... It's true - the surgeon doesn't touch them. Some people feel like getting help somehow makes them a failure. I think introspection, acceptance, ownership, and getting help shows strength and perserverance. Not sure if I had a point - this subject just made me feel like babbling... I'm done babbling now! Pam

Ok guys this show hit me really REALLY close to home. though I didn't see it, my friend told me about it yesterday. WHOLLY COW!! This is so soo SO true for me. This is exactly what I have been struggling with, the addictive personaility of mine. Some of you know but most of you don't, I do tend to OVERDO everything I do, whether it be working out, shopping, drinking, eating, smoking ect... I am still struggling to get this demon under control. In the beginning it was so so great, loosing weight, be able to dance all night without being tired, them things got crazy, thank God for meeting my husband or I would probably be a sexaholic too. That part of my life got nuts too for a while. Like I am an alkie, I say no. However when I go out 99% of the time I usually don't know how to stop. When I am out dancin, I don't know how to go home. When I go shopping, I don't know how to limit myself. Yes I know this is a problem and I am working on it, one day at a time, trying to find constructive things to do with my time that won't put me in AA or the poor house. I am thankful for the friend who suggested water, drink water drink which seem to work good for me, I only had 3 beers Saturday night. And yes just like the woman on Oprah, I have blacked out but had my husband to take care of me. Just think if I was alone. Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being so destructive, I just have to work so hard to control these -ALL of these addictions... I know I have to find the root of the problem but hey Rome was not built in a day so I am still trying to find my way. Ok thats all the drama for now, I just felt so connected to this show I had to see what you guys thought, it was last monday and you can find it on her web page. Talk to ya soon!! Kim

hi natalie, i didn'****ch the show but i can honestly say that i've been dealing with this little monster called alcohol, and boy o boy can i only say that i've gotten myself into some heavy trouble thank god it really didn't go that far but i began drinking a little here and a little there and it truly just went overboard, i began forgetting what happened the night before and any arguments i had with my spouse i wouldn't remember i waws getting really bad off. i didn't realize that i had a problem with alcohol i kept denying the fact that i was turning into an alcohol, i was so miserable and stressed out i didn't like myself and what i looked like i felt that i was a ugly person i wasn't skinny enough for my spouse, my self-esteem was down, i felt like i was crying out for help and no one was listening or even noticing how bad i needed help. my drinking has slowed down i'm trying my best to love me for who and what i am, i'm trying to regain my self-esteem and self-image i know tha i'm a beautiful person in and out i just have to realize it for myself. i don't want to carry this shadow anymore around with me i want to live a free and healthy lifestyle, i want to be happy once and for all no matter who don't like me or my appearance because i can't please everybody all the time i can only please myself. so i pray and ask god to help me live each day one day at a time. i put my hand in his. so i will be starting this healthy weight loss challenge it's a 8 wk journey but i joined in only today so tommorow will be my first step in getting me on track for me and no one else, i have 80lbs of the old me that i want to shed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didn't have the surgery to still be obese and unhappy i had it to be healthy, happy, fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know that i can do it as long as i keep my eyes on the winning prize..........