Feeling almost worthless

You ever get those days that you feel like if you walked away from your present life, that no one would notice that you were even gone. I hate to admit it, but i feel like that quite often lately. The bad thing is I really have not got anything to gripe about really. My weight is maintaining at the same level for the past 3 yrs. even though i still feel fat at times. Its just that i feel worthless. I have a good home with a very supportive wife and a good church that i attend weekly, but i still can not change my feelings inside. I sometimes can almost set and burst into tears and i am a 53 year old man and i am supposed to be the strong male figure. I thought about going to the Dr for depression but i feel if i do this it shows a sign of weakness on my part. Its like i know what the solution is but i can not see myself telling anyone close to me how i really feel. I just wanted to ask you all to be thinking of me. This is really scaring me in a way. Because i am almost confused and i want my family and friends to still think that i am the strong one and they can still rely on me to be there for there problems. Love ya all, When you say your prayers , mention me if yiou have time , thanks Bruce

Hi Bruce I kinda know what your saying,after losing over 340 lbs I sometimes don't know who I am anymore.I was on anti-depressents but no longer take them.So much has changed in such a short time.I still see that fat man when I look in the mirror every morning and i'm 46 and feel like i've done nothing.I hope you feel better steve

Bruce: Please, please, please go to the doctor. Depression is a real illness, not a weakness that many years back thought of it. You will more than likely not come out of this funk you are currently in without medical intervention. Your visit with your PCP is between you and him, no one else needs to know why and what meds you may or may not be taking unless YOU want to say, remember HIPPA prevents the medical field from discussing your/my/our/everyones health situation with anyone. If your cholesterol is high do you take medicine, if your blood pressure is high, would you take medicine, if you needed antibotics for an infection; again would you take the prescription. Depression is an illnees and you SHOULD take medicine for it too, if you need it. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am by no means trying to be forceful or mean to you....this is out of concern for your health and mental state. Dana

Bruce, Depression often is strictly a chemical issue. Sometimes we need help getting the chemistry back in balance. Go to your doctor and ask for help. Years ago, I went the therapy route. I didn't want drugs. I worked on my issues and eventually ran out of things to talk about. My life was fine. But I was still melancholy. I needed help. I reluctantly went and got put on an antidepressants. It took a couple of weeks but I felt normal again. And that felt good. I find great comfort now to know that if I ever have problems again... I know what med will help me. You can be still be strong. Chemistry has nothing to do with weakness. Hugs, Kathy

Bruce, Just my thoughts -- 1. Have you ever stopped to think that when you lost weight that your body chemistry changed. Your hormones are certainly different. Fat cells have high concentrations of estrogen. That is gone now and your body has to compensate somehow. Maybe it overproduced something else that is causing your depression/confusion/whatever. You may think that taking an antidepressant is a sign of weakness, but if your chemistry is out of wack and you take a medication for a while to straighten that out, how is that weak? It seems pretty smart to me to recognize a problem and work toward fixing it. Isn't that why you had WLS? We are not - you are not ....weak. A weak person could not successfully gotten as far as you have using the WLS as a tool. Can't the antidepressant be a tool also? 2. Something else to think about is your relationship with God. I don't know what you believe, or if you attend a church. But, why not have the conversation you had with us in your note above with God? I'm not trying to preach but who cares more for you than God? I just want you to know you have a place to turn to whenever you are lonely, confused, scared, feeling unworthy. This is where I go with those feelings. I'll keep you in my prayers. CathyA

Hi Bruce, I am glad you are doing so well with maintaining, this really helps me to know that I too can continue to maintain. As for feeling worthless, alot has changed for you and as Dana said maybe you do need to tell your Dr. If you would rather not then go to your minister for help that is what he or she is there for. I know in the last 19 months I have talked alot of these issues out with my pastor and it has really helped me. Look at what you have accomplished in such a short time...loosing weight, changing your whole life style forever...that shows me that you are worth alot. Look at all the great things you have going for you in your life, other words continue to count your blessing. You can get through this time you need to find the right path to go. I will keep you in prayer - and you need to do your part in getting help. Take care and God bless.

Hey Bruce, I guess we all at times g through depression of some sort. It isnt a weakness, it is simply and illness but I know what you are saying . Long ago I felt the same way. I think the older I get the more I realize no man is an island and at some point we will all need someone or something besides ourselves to sustain us . God does indeed cure all things , but he gave us Dr's who are smart to help us so we must help ourselves too. Try to remember from where you came . I know it is tough my friend to do that when your feeling down and out. I have been so down before I was afraid I would get to where I didnt about anything.. Exercise raises your FEEL GOOD endorphins ... Please make yourself do 1 hour of a tough workout and see if it helps at all..See your Dr to if necessary and continue to pray and TALK TO people . We can all get through this life , we just might need a little help at times.. Blessings to you Shirl

Bruce, first off you have to think of this maybe a a medical problem. perhaps a chemical embalance, a change in your system that needs to doctor to check out. you could be suffering a vitamin problem. vitamins can play a strong role in how we feel mentally too or a change in a mineral your body is lacking or it could be hormonal, yes me have hormone changes to , it is not a question of strength but taking care of you. you were strong enough to have surgery but things can changes long term too. have you had your doctor do blood work lately? please check with you doctor and let him know how you feel . keep us posted as it helps all of us to share. best wishes

Bruce, my boss, a Very Manly Man, takes anti-depressants. He'll tell anyone that will listen that they have made all the difference in the world in his life. Makes my life better, too! LOL! I know you are the one feeling the depression, but I'm sure your family and friends are feeling it, too. They don't have the same Bruce that they know and love and I'm sure they miss him. You are a strong man, a man that knows when something needs to be done. At least talk to your doctor about what's going on. Becky

If you had a heart condition would it make you less a man to take pills for it? The same applies to taking a pill for depression. Some people have a heart problem, another suffers from depression. If telling people would be uncomfortable talk to your physician, find the right pill for you and don't tell anybody you are taking them. Keep the pills at work or put a couple in a small change container and keep it in your pocket for the weekend. Your family would prefer you taking a pill to feeling the way you are currently feeling. The bad thing about depression is that it can suddenly get worse if some life change happens. Once more the depression is a bodily function like high cholestrol, heart problems, diabetes, etc. You deserve to feel better. If a pill can work that miracle I say go for it. Best of luck!