Self-image vs self-worth

I was amazed to be told that I have exorcise anoxeria. I never heard of such a thing. How do I handle this...ready.... I still want to see a certain number on the scale. It is the power I have to make the weight-loss continue. In the past 15 months, I have dealt with guilt for eating in the early post-op stanges, then I purged as I was scared during the 6-7 month periods...then I sat back and just enjoyed the ride a little. I hit my surgeons goal at 9 months out...155, then I decided that I wanted to continue to loose. I began vigorious exercise. The surgeon and nut actually told me to stop and regain. Hum...I wasn't trying to punish myself...I LIKED the feeling of the blood pumping and the sweating...not to mention it made me warmer. OK, got out of control, I was exercising to the point of needing 3000 calories per day. I could only eat 700-800 max. So I began the pntbtr, the cereals...carbs to burn. Hum, body stopped loosing weight, so I exercised more and more everytime I would eat. Now I knew I was at a point of trouble. So, after counceling, I backed off to 5 days a week of exercise (light exer on the other 2) and now they have me down to light exercise everyday. THAT was a battle giving up the exercise...who ever would have thought I would LOVE exercise! Now that I am off the carbs-which made me physically sick, I am back to focusing on protein...and this week I lost 8 pounds. So, now I'm back to loosing. What in the HECK??? They actually bumped my plastic surgery up a week, hoping that I will see myself how I really am, and stop loosing. ??? I don't want to have plastic, get nice and tight, then loose more and get loose again. How do you STOP and maintain??? I have yet to figure this out. I typically do 2-3 miles a day now and my diet is similiar to for breakfast: 1/2 banana 8ou of milk, snack: 3/4 cottage cheese, lunch: salad with 1/4C ckn and about an ounce of cheese and 8 ounces of milk, snack: 3/4C cottage ch, dinner: 3-4 meat usually or 2 ounces of meat, 1 ou of starch, 1 ou of veg., snack: apple. I am 5-7, surg goal of 155, as of today 138. I don't like how thin I am getting, but can't seem to find the happy medium of weight maintenance and food consumption. No bashers please! No food police! Anyone have this problem??? What did you do? I am aware I have gone from one extreme to the other. How do you stop?

Do you have access to a nutritionist to review what you are eating and get assistance? What about adding a protein shake or two in there made with milk and fruit? That would give you added protein but calories, as well. Do all carbs make you ill or just some? I'm glad you realize that you have to stop the losing and at a minimum maintain if not gain back a few. Plastics will take weight off and it doesn't sound like you can afford that. I know there are others out there that struggle to stop the losing. They aren't the majority of the post-ops but they are out there. I know it is a weird and scarey concept, I'm sure, to be on the other end of the spectrum - who would have ever thought of working to gain or maintain weight to prevent more loss. I wish I had answers for you but alas I don't but I wanted to wish you the best of luck. I hope that you find a good balance of intake that keeps the scale where it needs to be that you are comfortable with. Be well, be healthy, be happy! Kathy

Wow, that is a tough one. I've said many times that this whole things is trial and error~we just have to keep trying different things until something works for us b/c everyone is SO different! Your daily intake looks great. Maybe you could add some complex carbs to your diet~if they don't make you sick. That would give you fuel to burn during your workouts. Sorry I can't be more help b/c overall your eating/exercise plan looks great now! If you can find a healthy way to up your calories just a little bit, hopefully you can begin to just maintain and not lose. Good Luck! Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

this seems to be more common than I would have imagined, although my therapist told me that overexercising was for me becoming a form of bulemia, purging by exercising. fortunately I was able to deal with it before it became a very serious problem. i cur back my exercise significantly and altered my routine as well. my help came in the form of a therapist who works with eating disorders. I was also experiencing serious depression, & body image issues as well. we worked together and developed a wellness plan that i follow pretty well each day. it includes reasonable levels of exercise, , My eating plan & appropriate supplements, time out for quiet for me, yoga a couple times a week for relaxation and stress relief. Journaling my feeling about things, daily affirmation, etc. Still working on body image issues. some day I feel and look huge and have trouble coping with that. I hve no real advice other than to work with a well qualified therapist who specializes in eating disorders. a couple books that have helped me are "How Much Does Your Soul Weigh? " by Dorie McCubbrey and "The Body Image work book" by Thomas Cash.