Pondering

I do not post to the what did you eat because I would be shot, tarred, feathered, and hung on the OH flag pole. I go to the gym 6 days a week for 1 and 1/2 to 2 hours. The longer days are tues/thurs/sat - I do weights and cardio, the other 3 days are just cardio. And I am sure I'd be up **** creek for my sweet tooth if I didnt exercise so much. When I called my insurance company to see if they would cover me for a shrink to work on my eatting issues etc....they said "it's an exclusion". I am debating on using my work's "employee assistance program" for the free help....but because its a teaching hosptial it worries me that I'll get a intern with no real experience. Wednesday was a horrid day....wheres the beef...meat...? 2 blue bunny ice cream bars - 320 cal 1 cup carb milk + 1/2 scoop vanilla protein + 1 pk splenda mocha coffee mix - 90 cal 1 pkge crm chz w/ splenda and jam and celery (through out day) - 350 cal 1 ABB 40 g protein drink (1/2 before gym, 1/2 after) - 180 cal Sf seeds - 190 cal apple- 80 cal 2 almond sweet valley granola bars - 320 cal 5 hard boiled egg whites - 100 cal 2 yes..slices of cake ...yellow with strawberry and whip cream filling....from the evil german backery clear on the other side of town that I drove to. ####calories! decaf with creamer - 100cal (all day) 3 bottles water 1 can diet pepsi not including the cake a little under 1500 calories plus cake prolly 2500 caloires I hope everyone on this board feels better about what they are eatting.... some days are better than other, like Monday package crm cheese and celery (through out day)- 350 sf seeds - 190 ABB prot drink - 180 3 slices ff cheese - 90 2 pieces tilapia in garlic sauce - 260 4 tb whipped pb - 280 decaf with crmer (all day) - 100 almost 1500 cal I keep a food journal....it's scarey. There are things I have not eatten in almost 2 years - pasta, rice, anything fried, any fast food, corn, potatoes, pizza, I have had wheat wraps but do not do bread otherwise - I dont miss them - I prefer cake, cookies, and pastries. The sugar binges started during my recovery/off time after my BL/BA and its been on going for 2 months. Yes I am up 8 pounds from my lowest, 4 pounds from my goal. I am holding steady trying to fight it and my head for about 3 weeks now. Weight 162 today, 1 year ago 158, 2 years ago 324. Now go back and read your menu. You are doing just fine. Sorry I ramble and always seem to put way more info than needed, but its a form of venting/therapy in itself just to keep writing. I am gonna call about the EAP counseling at work... Michelle

I think we could be soul sisters I think it is good that you work off the calories. Its what I have been trying for 2 weeks because I just cant resist. If I had will power I never would have gotten to 360 Pounds in the first place. Diana

If they won't cover a shrink for eating disorders, maybe they will cover for depression? Once you get in therapy and they are submitting a diagnosis of depression, well, your issues with food may be a side effest of the depression, and as part of your treatment for depression yo may need to address all the issues related to depression - see where I am going? Your ins company doesnt get details of what you talk about in therapy, only that you were seen for a diagnosis of depression.

I am not going to list what I eat, but wanted to say I do agree with the reply stating (paraphrased) she "could hold more of the bad food" such as carbs, etc. I would be ashamed to list what I was eating until I got on the scales at the Doctor's office! I was horrified to find out I had gained weight, but a little part of me was saying "see, you knew those pants were getting tighter..." After my RNY, I lost down to a size 4, then recently gained back to a size 6. I had gained 15 pounds in two months, I have since lost 7 in three weeks, eight more to go. Not so much because I want to fit back into the 4s, it is just a matter of not wanting to backslide AT ALL. We have all went through too much to gain back. My personal culprits for weight gain are junk food and alcoholic beverages. All I have done to lose the extra weight is cut out both of those. It comes off a lot slower than it piles on! But is it easier to lose weight through dieting now than it was before.