update on me...
here's an update on how i'm feeling today...thanks to all for your concern and for those who emailed me and already got this reply thanks to you girls again. you all are the best....
i'm feeling better but still down. i just don't get it. i got down to139 at my lowest and then creeped back to 145 which is fine. i said anything under 150 was cool with me. then i got into the carb problem and jumped up to 155. then with pms i got up to 160 and only went back down to 157. and i'm stuck there. and i know it's not jus****er or muscle weight like some people on the board were saying. my clothes don't fit me from the summer. i was down to a 6 and now i'm struggling with a 10. it definitely see the muscle in my legs and arms so i'm not doubting that some of it is from muscle weight but my belly is just looking so big and i can't stand it! i feel good physically but mentally i'm beating myself up. and yeah i know i've come a long way but i'm moving in the wrong direction on the scale. i just hate that...i'm soooo scared of getting fat again and those people that said it would never work out permanently would be right. and i do not not not want to be fat again. and sadly enough this weight is fat to me now. i can't stand looking at myself...and now the scale is even more of an obsession than normal. i'll be fine just having one of those days (weeks whatever). and i'm feeling so stressed out about everything right now. two of my good friends are having marriage problems, my sister's life is so f-ed up and full of drama, my mom's gone on vacation which always puts me in a mood cuz i talk to her daily and i can't this week, and we are so strapped financially it's pathetic. it's just all too much...all i want to do is eat to relieve the stress but i don't thank godness. i did some yoga a little while ago and i feel a little better...exercise always makes me feel better temporarily that's why i like to do it so often! thanks for caring...Steph
Awwww, {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} Steph!
Believe me, I once wrote down what I've been through in the last two years and it was scary. Brighter days are ahead. They really are.
Glad that you got your yoga in. Exercise definitely does something for your mood as well as your body.
You are a highly focused woman. Your daily posts have really helped so many others and just keep posting and we'll all continue to support you and each other and you'll get through this time. Just take things 1 day, 1 hour, 1 minute or even 1 second at a time.
Kathy
Stephanie, I am so glad you are sharing this with us. I too have been gaining - just a few pounds at a time. Those carbs get me everytime, so I gave them up and that scale still doesn't move much. Now I am radical when it comes to the scales, my family keeps telling to chill out but like you I am not going back to being fat again, I like being 127 lbs. I have tried everything I could think of, so I have been writing everything down, and I will be back to my surgeons office to talk to the dietcian. I will get an answer. When I do I will share with you what to do...but if you figure it out before I get back to you - let me know. I am going to up my exercise some more - I sure hope that will help. My dr. did say that I could gain up to 20 lbs back....NO WAY! I will starve first or live on protien only first. Isn't strange how fear can motivate you to get off your butt and do something,LOL! Try not to worry too much - take care deb k
I am glad you are feeling somewhat better. I am also in a financial pickle but it is getting better, we are half way through a five year plan ( it has been a long 2 1/2 years). My mom is gone for over 11 years now but if I can't talk to my sister for a few days I get out of sorts, she is my link to reality sometimes, and other times she is too honest for me, if you know what I mean! I feel better since increasing my exercise and decreasing my carbs. I was feeling pretty blu this last month, one weekend I could not find anyone to do anything with and it brought back all those lonely fat teenager memories. I always thought no one liked me because I was fat, now I am not too fat and still do not have friends to do things with. I came to the realization it must not of just been the fat, it must have to do with me. I have been wanting to try yoga but never want to be the fat one in class! Maybe I will scope out a class at he gym and see. Hang in there I think it must take our brains awhile to catch up to our changing bodies. 
yeah i think your right...our brains do need time to catch up. if you don't want to do yoga in front of people...like me, you could buy this leslie sansone video and do it at home. it's called "yoga you can do". she does a tutorial in the beginning of the poses then you do the workout...it's about 25 minutes for the workout and it's not hard at all. it's pretty relaxing really. i know it sucks when you feel like you have no friends but sometimes, you're better off...my husband always tells me "with friends like yours, i'd rather have none if i were you"...and he's right most of the time but i've known them my whole life and it's hard to just let go of the familiarity of having them around.
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