Part Two of Disgust

Thanks for everyone *****plied especially those of you who didn't agree with me and yet didn't flame me. I appreciate that. My biggest frustration with these friends is that they all talk the talk but don't walk the walk. One is even trying to have WLS surgery but has to lose 40 pounds first. It won't happen. I've tried to be supportive and never outwardly criticize what they are eating. One of them will make comments about what she is eating and I try to offer better alternatives. I know that change has to come from within. I know that I didn't get to 262 without over eating. There is a difference tho as I wasn't diagnosed as being diabetic while I was MO. Both of these people are. I was just last week diagnosed as diabetic instead of just insulin resistant. I know that I will eat the wrong stuff on occassion, but I just can't see me doing it on an ongoing basis. I want to live. I want to be able to see and have a functioning kidney (I only have one). I want to be able to feel my feet. I want to see my 30 yr old son get married (please God!) One of them already has neuropathy. I had always said that if I were diagnosed with diabetes that it would put the fear of God into me. It has and I've been eating right for the last 2.5 years! Some might say it's not fair since I've lost 116 pounds. I say it's payback for not taking care of my body when I was younger. We can't reverse all the damage we've done just by losing the excess wt. It's just very hard to watch your friends self-destructing when you are a person who always wants to "fix" things. I had hoped that my journey would spur them on to at least make an attempt. It hasn't happened. Someone said in a previous post that they always want to go up to people who are MO and tell them there is help. I always have that urge also. But again, they have to want to do it. I think the reason I waited so long was that I didn't really know anyone who had it done, or where to even start the process. Then I had a friend who did it and I was on my way! I am not without compassion for the MO. Heck, I was one of them not too long ago. I do have that fear that I will be again, but lately that fear has abated as I've gotten the grazing and head hunger under control and have lost the 6 pounds of regain. I have no idea how I've gotten the head hunger thing done, but I have. I think the diabetes thing has helped. Again, thanks for all your responses. Lyn

Hi Lyn. I'm the one that said I'd like to go up to people and tell them that there is help and a way out of being MO. It would be coming from a truly good place in my heart, but I realize that many people would not take it that way and would be upset so of course I never follow thru~its just a feeling. I have a few MO friends that I thought would probably jump on the bandwagon after my surgery, but it hasn't happened for them either. I've actually inspired more people that really don't know me personally, but just kind of watched me from afar. I will always try to be a help to anyone seeking information, guidance, ideas or a friend~I wish I would have had someone to turn to, but I didn't know anyone that had wls so I had to research it and figure it out on my own~I guess that was all part of my journey. It sounds like your "disgust" comes from a place that is well intentioned~you want the best for these people and you hate seeing them self destruct! Its hard to watch people we care about doing unhealthy things. If they are true friends, then try to stick by them and help when and where you can. Hopefully they will have their "lightbulb moment" and their lives will change for the better! Hugs, Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

I wish you luck with the diabetes. Are they going to put you on insulin? I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2000. At the time my ex-hubby and I had been trying to have a baby so I was put on insulin right away so that when I got my sugars under control I could try again. The baby part never happened but I just stayed on insulin since I had things under nice control with it and got used to it. I came off insulin altogether after WLS. I know what you are going through with neuropathy. The strange thing for me was the amount that my feet hurt after going on insulin. Apparently the nerves were waking up. I once hit my toe with a shopping cart and almost went through the roof. I didn't notice the neuropathy on my own but after insulin... the feet would fall asleep so walking was funky. Ultimately, they recovered very well. I don't think they ever recovered 100%. When I started insulin I was 221 lbs. I had lost about 20 or so lbs from the diabetes. Weird to lose over the holidays but I did. Shoulda known something was wrong. I took my insulin and worked hard. I followed the American Diabetic Association diet (60 carbs per meal can you believe it?) and worked out 4 times a week. I lost 1 lb in 9 months. I was so frustrated. Insulin makes the body "efficient" apparently. Fuel in is stored for use. Grrrrrrr. I ended up over time due to stresses gaining up to 276 over the years. I kept my blood sugars in good places by adjusting insulin. Yes I ate crappy but I "covered for it". Great, eh? The only way I found to lose weight was to low carb which allowed me to reduce insulin and that yielded some weight loss. Quicker than I lost weight, I could gain it back eating carbs. Very addictive for me like the snowball effect. I'm not sure if my body is insulin resistant or if I have some sort of allergy or insensitivity to white flour or gluten or something. I'm the only one I know that can gain multiple pounds very quickly (7 lbs in 2 weeks from having a Power Crunch bar each day) with not that high a caloric intake. My body has always been this way. I eat very low carb but am playing to see if the type of carb makes a difference. I think it goes so there is back to my white flour/gluten theory. I wear my WLS badge on my sleeve and don't hide it at all. I try to encourage folks to do good things for their body and if people ask questions about the surgery or about dieting in general - I'm glad to answer. There is one particularly large woman at the gym. Perhaps she is my size before my surgery. She works out hard. I always chat with her and encourage her. Not sure what her diet is like but the fact she comes to the gym many days a week is awesome. It is hard going out and seeing very large people struggling to move and then you see them sit down and you see what they are eating. The old 'there by the grace of god go I" sort of thing. Hubby and I both comment about that is us before. I know that all the talking from anyone and everyone who was well intentioned didn't help get me to lose weight. I had to want to do it and I had to be ready to do it. Seeing where I was headed - seeing my mother die at 71... I decided on surgery. I've rambled on and on here... Kathy

I, too, sometimes have an overwhelming urge to talk to MO people and tell them there is hope. The way I do it is by saying something like: "Hello. Just thought you might be interested. I had lap band surgery last year. It changed my life." Then I just leave it up to them. If they want to ask questions they can. At least I feel I have opened the door a crack for them. They have to do the rest.