Disgust with MO people who won't help themselves

Everyone handles thier reality differently. In some cases people go to that wonderful place called denial! I know I was there. Never thought I was big why never looked at my pics for a long time. Its a pretty place to be until someone treats you badly then you want to retreat further into that land until you finally get to the place of no return. Some people can get out of that world...some can't. I feel sorry for those who cannot find their way. Preaching to them about the healthy life most of the time backfires. It never worked on me! I remember many people preaching to me and me not listening! I was very good at turning that song off! If they are friends you will accept them as they are...if not move on. I don't think I would harp on what they eat....they know its wrong and only they can change it.

And, since they (obviously) already know that it is not healthy and if they (meaning WE) are TRUE friends, we'll accept them no matter what...isn't that all that we always wanted?

That is what friends are for! You gotta Girlfriend! Acceptance is such a big part of who we can become. Without acceptance I guess as humans we die. Debbie

I try not to judge people who are MO. I remember being there at one time myself. And I know I knew better. I knew when I was stuffing down all the wrong things that I was eating myself into an early grave, but did it stop me. Obviously not. I ate my way right up to 277 pounds. It took me wanting to change and have a better, longer life to finally do something different than I had done before. I had tried every diet and exercise program around. Surgery was my last option. It took 12 years of living in that MO body for me to get to that point. For some it doesn't take that long and for others it takes longer and sadly for others that realization never comes. There was nothing anyone could have done for me any earlier as I was not ready. But I sure am thankful my family, friends, and most of all my husband stuck right there with me and loved me even though I was fat. They never once put me down or made me feel any less of a person. Now, I have some friends who are MO, and I had hoped seeing how well I have done and how happy I am would have pushed them to that point of doing something about it. Well, not so far. So, I am still friends with them and love them, but I do have to make sure the things I do with them do not involve eating and such as that is not good for me to be around being a recovering foodaholic. That would be like an alcoholic still hanging out with his bar hopping buddies after getting out of the rehab center. So, I understand you needing to distance yourself from their eating habits. It is hard to watch people self-destruct. Maybe one of these days, how well you are doing and how happy you are will push them out of denial and into wanting to change. So, don't give up on them just yet. Just keep being that positive influence. Melissa

G'morning Lyn ~ Actually, what you describe is (was) ME! It's how I became 400 pounds, by eating less then healthy choices in humongo portions. Never met a SMO person who ate their weight in carrots, ya know? I suspect if you look deep within, you'll realize you're staring in a mirror. What disgusts you about them now is probably also who you WERE then. Let's face it - we all (still) run the risks of being that way again. Weight loss success is NOT guaranteed it's a constant work in progress. I honestly don't look at SMO's or their eating habits with disgust, if anything it's with empathy. Been there, done that, bought the 6X T-shirt. Who knows, in a way, it'll probably always keep me grounded and focused too. In all honesty, your post did not offend me at all - hell, I probably even understood a few of the points even if I didn't agree with them. It's great that we can ALL voice our opinions and not have them taken so personal by others that a fight erupts. When (or if) your friends are ready, they'll make the necessary changes to regain their health. Afterall, it took YOU to the point of "qualifying" for the surgery to finally stop the madness, ya know? It's all good - they will or they won't, but don't walk away from the friendship. It would be an awfully LONELY world if something as minor as eating habits tore apart our circle of friends. Have a great weekend - enjoyed your thought provoking post. Lei

Wow, I just read thru this whole post and its left me feeling very emotional. It is hard to see MO people, especially our friends, and not want to help them in some way. Even if I'm out at a store, if I notice someone MO who's having a hard time getting around my heart goes out to them. I just want to talk to them and say there's a better way~but that's not socially acceptalbe to do so I quietly say a prayer for them and move on. I understand when some of the responses said maybe its mirroring something to you~I don't really pay attention to what others are eating, but I know when I see someone struggling, that brings up alot of my own emotions. Willow's experience with her husband is very similar to mine~he never said anything about my weight at 328lbs and he rarely does now~he loves me for me and I feel so blessed to have him in my life. He sees me for me, flaws and all, and he still loves me~how awesome is that!!!!!!! I know its hard to be compassionate sometimes when you think people should know better, but there is something driving them to eat that way. I know I didn't understand how I ate my way up to 328lbs until pretty far into my journey~now I get it and I don't want to ever let myself go back to that place. Good Luck with this situation. Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

Well, sadly I would say that the only thing separating me (and alot of other post-ops) is the reduced size of my stomach and my inability to eat sugar. I am a food addict... always was and always will be. When I see a MO person stuffing his/her face with stuff I wouldn't dare put to my lips, I get sad. Sad for them, but also sad for me for the abuse I put my body through for so many years. For many of us, we are no different than that MO person, still even now. Try to empathize. Be well, Michelle

My super morbid obese self is still iving inside of me - and sometimes struggles to take back over. So far I am winning the battle, but dont know if I will forever. I also struggle with the guilt I feel for abusing my body so badly that it can never look quite normal again. a dear friend was commenting in a group discussion that I am like a totally different person now. I said - only on the outside, I am still the same me on the inside. she laughed and said "yeah aren't we all F---ed up inside. " too true.