Disgust with MO people who won't help themselves

I have 3 work friends who are all MO. Two are diabetic. Those two eat horribly. It's all I can do to keep my mouth shut most of the time and not say something about it. For example, one of them had a huge plate of scalloped potatoes and ham (not much ham) and a piece of fruit pizza. She's the one who is the biggest and takes meds for diabetes. I just don't get it. The other diabetic eats some better but not much. The third one says she doesn't know why she is MO. Can you say denial??? I'm to the point where I don't even want to be around them anymore. I feel bad about feeling that way but jeez, I'm getting to the point where it might be self preservation for me to distance myself. I know I can't do anything about what they are doing to their bodies. They have to want to change. I guess it's my choice not to watch them self destruct. Anyone else have this problem???

I just try to remember what it was like when I was in their shoes. Hopefully as they see how well you are doing, it will encourage them to do better.

I say let'm explode. If they can't see what they are doing especially since they see your success,,,,, Darwin comes to mind. Anyway, more air for the rest of us. Sorry to be so blunt. kp

me personally i work with a few mo people i love them dearly and to be honest with you its thier life not mines..i smoke and get hell for it from people and dont want to hear it about how bad ciggarettes are for you.. when they are ready they will do something about thier weight ..just like we did.. just hope they dont take a stroke or heart attack in front of you

congrats on your own success. i would take time to think about how you would have felt if your firiends had abandoned you when you were obese and didn't look to be doing anything about it. this may or may not relate. 1. I have "friends' and I use the term loosely who avoid me now that I am thinnwer, they dont want to go out together etc. that really hurts. 2. then there is the A$$#0!@ husband of my very best friend. He is enormous! I am guessing pushing 500. asked me why did I have the surgery. I said my health was being affected, hypertension, aches, pains etc. he looked right at me and said he would never do something like that, God made him the way he is and "God doesnt make junk" I bit my tongue so hard it nearly bled t o not say god didn't make you fat, the sweet tea and brownies and high fat fried and junk food you binge on made you fat. I didn't because I could see it was his own poor self esteem talking. Lastly, My husband never - not ever once ragged on me about my weight no matter how heavy I was. When I decided to have WLS, he was scared to death, he supported me anyways. he did so much for me through my journey in his actions. he still doesn't say much about my appearance even tho I am pretty hot if I do say so myself. For a while it bugged me until some one pointed out to me that maybe since he didn't comment much fat or thin it is because it is not about my appearance, that he is and has always seen the inner me, and that is what he sees as important. So that is what I try to remember with my own friends. to not treat them with the predjudice that I faced, to love them for the inner qualties that led me to friendship with them in the first place. if you feeel it is best you distance yourself from their fatness then maybe it is best that you do as they would likely rather have a true friend who loves them for them selves rather than the shell they live in, and who does not judge them. that is my true honest feeling. Only you can examine your own soul and make your own decisions.

Lyn, My sentiments pretty much mirror Willow's. I guess, though I eat differently than I did pre-op, I still see myself as that fat girl. I don't look at what others are eating because I really don't care to think about the fact that they are doing the same to me (now or back then). So what if they are in denial? How long were we ourselves in that very same boat? What bothers you the most? What they are doing? Or, seeing yourself in those very same cir****tances, only in another time? The reason that I ask this is the comment you made about self-preservation...is it disgust with what they are doing or is it disgust with yourself that you want/miss it in some way... You know I love ya and I'm not trying to be harsh, mean or hurtful...but, this post was hurtful to me in a way...and, I'm pretty thick-skinned; so, I'm probably not the only one. (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry

Sherry, once again you hit the nail right on the head! Thank you for saying what Im sure so many of us wanted to say (but didnt have the courage). Thank you for always knowing the right things to say in you postings. I enjoy your opinions so much! Thank you - a loyal 'lurker'

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Lyn thank you for starting this thread Sherry I totally agree with your post. This topic is a like a sword with a double edge. Every single time I see a MO person I get flash backs and I get so sad because I think of that never ending "cycle" and having been there myself maybe not at there weight but I know how it feel to be stared at. Why don't MO people get up and do something about their weight. Well it's easier said than done. ~* Laurie 250/133