Why is my weight such an issues for others?

I agree, why do people compare? When I was 328lbs I didn't dislike her b/c she was only a size 14. I wished I was thinner, but not at her expense. I also agree that its her issue b/c I'm done dealing with her! Thanks, Tracy

a couple of posts up is a post by someone who wants to dump the obese friends, for being too fat and not living the lifestyle she thinks they should, , and you are having friends dump you for being too thin. I dont get it, desn't anybody just go by how nice a person is? the inner part rather than the outer shell. there is so much more to all of us than appearance. the deeper human side.

((((((((((Willow)))))))))) I wanted to thank you for your thoughtful and kind replies to my previous thread. My frustrations are/were just getting to me. Both from outside influences and from my own neuroses (sp?). ~~ I've converted my family over to low-carb/low-calorie/SF and with surprisingly little-to-no complaints/effort from either my husband or my 6 y.o. I do keep things in the house especially for them (as treats) that I would not eat (non-trigger foods for me), though they seem to rather want to eat what I eat....go figure...so much for the grocery bill lowering post-op. LOL It just irks me to no end when 'certain' family member(s) make me feel like I've done something wrong by having Lexi as a post-op because she is not as 'advanced' as her one month younger cousin (Her doctor says that she is PERFECTLY on target...so; I get tired of people trying to make me feel guilty when I'm the one that was clean and sober for my pregnancy and she was doing meth and marijuana. I even went off of my anti-depressant and anxiety meds at 2 1/2 weeks gestation.). Maybe it IS more common than I know of; but, I have never seen an eight month old with seven teeth that skipped creeping and crawling and is walking already (has been for about a month now), and eats two stage 3 jars of baby food at one mealtime, plus an eight ounce bottle of formula right after (and, wants MORE). Plus, cries constantly unless she is being held AND entertained at the same time...Ack! I think that she needs to keep her parenting tips to herself, personally. Sorry to unload on you...you just always seem to have a sympathetic 'ear' for my whining. (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry

i am just reading the posts a few down from mine and was wanting to make clear that i am not dumping a friend for being fat...im dismissing her for her lack of understanding and support....her snide remarks about being too thin or sick looking..were when i went over to her house to check on her because of the coldness in her voice previously(from calls i made to make sure she was ok..she has some health problems...)...i was just checking on her well being so there fore i was being myself...and she was and still is being mean and hurtful because i came over and she i guess thought i was coming over to show off my success...which is the farthest thing on my mind when i drop in to visit and make sure she is ok....i must say in 15 years ive been the one who has beenthe thoughtful one and went to her surgery she had for female problems...and stayed with her when she wasnt feeling well...but when i had my surgery..she didnt even call to see if i made it through...thats when it started when i started abut the wls...i think i look within people to see thier good ...thats why it hurts me when she is ugly to me because she has been and is good...but i cant afford to have someone put me down for making myself healthier and happy. I have always been themore giving firend in my friiendships. I charish all my friends because i think of them as FAMILY i get to choose..(as a military wife i dont have family around...just the friends i make at each new duty station).so i choose to have positive people around me...fat or thin...i want good friends....friends i can count on for support. I just wanted everyone to know i didnt judge her for her weight.she seems to be jusdgng me for my weightloss?...but for her actual acts as a friend...and they werent nice...as you can tell it hurts...for me to loose my friend..i considered her a close friend and cared what happened to her and still do..i beleive she will in the future miss our relationship as i do already...fat or thin...it was a heartfellt friendship..and now its a heart break.

Jennifer, I understand. It does hurt to lose a friendship. I hurts that people are talking about me behind my back~I chose to show the hurt by getting angry which isn't always a good trait to have, LOL! I too feel like I put 100% into friendships and maybe have given too much in the past~it leaves you open to so much pain and hurt if the friendship fails. I don't care what anyone weighs~I can if the person is kind, compassionate, caring, etc. I try to surround myself with "good" people that will be uplifting to my life in some way. I guess in the future I just need to make better choices. Hugs, Tracy B

jenifer, I am sorry if you thought I was talking to you on tha or offended you, I was referring to a different thread of posts about someone saying they are disgusted with MO "friends" for not doing the right stuff for weight control and didn't want to be friends anymore wiht them , I just hope that I never forget where I cmae from or lose empathy for other MO folks, or let predjudices interfere with friendships. life is short and true frinds are rare. your true friends will celebrate your successes and hug you thru your challenges. hugs!

Willow, you are SO right! That's why I feel it shouldn't matter if I weigh 300lbs or 100lbs~I am the same person. I try to be kind and caring to my friends and they treat me like crap and talk behind my back~not the kind of friends that I want or need in my life. It just makes me sad, but this too shall pass. Thanks! Tracy

I think I was more out-going when I was MO...not sure...I'm not saying that I had more confidence then; just that I try to take so much extra care for people NOT to think that I have changed that I actually HAVE...weird, I know. (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry

I know what you mean Sherry. Like you try to overcompensate. I'm just a straight forward person~always have been, but to different degrees I guess. It would just be nice if people could be happy about that fact that I'm healthy and happy instead of focusing on the fact that I weigh less than they do~urgh! Oh well, I can't change anyone else so I have to just accept them for how they are and make a choice~do I want to be around this person or not. Tracy B

There are so many people who have passed thru my life and I think of many of them often. Some fondly, some sadly, some with regret, most with a smile. I don't know why we can't stay close to all those to whom we feel close but such is life. You can only do so much to keep up your part of the bargain. If you're as much like me in this regard as you seem to be, you've probably done more but they still move on. I too am trying not to take such situations personally. I find more often than not how easy it is for one to manipulate us with words. Especially when they know us well enough to use just the right buzzwords. But you know what? They're the ones who have to live with themselves for that kind of manipulation. Be the best person you can be and move thru your day with love and respect and regard for yourself and those around you and if some don't want to walk by your side, let them just get out of your way! Good luck and God bless ... MM (c) 2006 Mermaid's Pearls