Transferrance of food issues to children?

Hello Everyone, I am facing a dilemma that I'm not quite sure how to handle. I *would* ask my therapist; but, after the fiasco last week, I do not trust her or her advice. My almost 9 1/2 month old daughter is still drinking (for the most part) formula...about 30+ oz. per day. The rest is solid food that I puree/mash myself...bananas, cottage cheese, soft cheeses, well cooked beans, sweet potatoes, green beans, well-to-over-cooked low-carb pasta dishes, NSA yogurt, etc. I consider this to be healthy; but, my SIL does not. Her baby, who is one month younger and is walking, eats commercially-packaged baby food (and a LOT of it...at least 2-Third stage bottles + an eight oz. bottle of formula at one meal), weighs over 25 pounds, cries constantly (her Mom holds her ALL the time), and, based upon the condition she arrives in at my home on the few occassions that I watch her (hungery, dripping wet and filthy diaper, no change of clothing, no extra diapers, no formula or pacifier, no baby food, no diaper rash ointment---wonder WHY she always has such a severe diaper rash, huh?, etc. While my daughter on the other hand, never has a diaper rash, knows how to occupy herself and only cries when she is hungery, wet/dirty or is EXTREMELY tired. I know my SIL is VERY limited on funds; but, dammit it, so am I...my husband just lost his job this week and I don't even have the money to buy my son's needed school supplies for school for him, which starts this coming Monday. I refuse to give my SIL money, because I know that it will go towards her meth addiction (that came out when Peyton, her baby was tested in the hospital following her birth). But, I do send what few extra diapers, baby foods, baby cereals and Peyton's brand of Formula that I can home with her, for Peyton...that way, I at least know that Peyton will be the one receiving them. Seriously though...where does a Meth/marijuana addict get off letting me what to do/not do with my own child Sorry just venting...any/all opinions welcome (whether they agree with mine or not). (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry

sherry ..i knew a woman who was a coke head and we both had our kids at the same time..she was the perfect mother the way she talked you think she had the christ child and she was the virgin mary herself.. when my son was born i quit working full time and as you know one paycheck is hard i can only imagine raising 2 kids in your situation.. well the virgin mary kid always had dirty white shoes at the time the shoes were only white for babys ..and i was nuerotic aad used to polish them every night and have esxtra shoe laces .. her kid was always dirty while she had acrylics and tight chuny choker jeans ..big hair.. and always had a comment to say about my kid but she was a welfare qween, had food stamps and wic and sold coke and concealed it in her babays carraige so she walk around looking like this wondeful mother dealing drugs your baby is growing up in a healthy stable enviroment so poo to her.. as mean as this sounds keep your baby stuff for alexis your hubby lost his job you need to worry bout your own family.. by the way do they have wic were you live? its a thing up here in the boston area that its stands for womans infant children thye give vouchers for fruit, milk, formula, certain cereals and stuff and go try to get food stamps ..you deserve to get them to help you get over the rogh stops your going thru good luck sweety and frig your sister in law family ..ugh ..sometimes joann

I think you are doing just fine. I can understand your anger also. We have a some what similar situation with my husbands ex wife. She is living with a meth head and has two little babies by him and they are both sickly babies. The oldest will be 2 in october and the youngest is 2 months old. You know that meth gets into your system just by being in the same house with it. Its a terrible drug! Anyway, she wants to take my step-son out of state to live with this guy!!! We will be in court on Monday morning to try to put a stop to that. I say keep on doing what you are doing. Hang there and hopefully one day she will get better. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!

As for the food your daughter eats, sounds to me like you're doing just what the 'experts' say you should. I mean, come on, commercial baby food is full of salt sugar and general crap. So how is it transferring food issues to your kid if you're giving her healthy food, she's gaining the weight she should, and the doc is happy with her progress? That's just waht a good mom does. As for the SIL... only two things you can do. Monitor Peyton's condition when he comes to your house and call DSS if there's reason. You can't change her, you can't rescue her, nothing, you know that. If the child is being neglected or mistreated, your calling DSS would be doing him a favor. The rest of it you have to just let roll off. She's obviously not a sane and rational person, so who is she to be giving you grief? You keep doing what you know to be the best for your daughter. Next question? Why did you title this TRANSFERRANCE of food issues? Do you think that you are obsessed with healthy foods and are making your kids/family obsessed with it also? Did crazy SIL say you were doing that? Did hubby say that? Are you doing it? I know for a while, my son would look at the label of every single food he ate, wouldn't eat it if he didn't know what was in it, and I knew I had to back off. I wasn't teaching him the 'healthy' habits I wanted him to have, I was teaching him to be obsessed. Don't let the woman stress you. Do what you gotta do for yourself and your family to be healthy and happy.

Just consider the source Sherry. Blow it off. It sounds like you are doing everything right for your kids. You want them to know what a healthy diet is and are giving them a great start on life. I'm with the gal who said you should be ready to call in DHS. If that child is being neglected, you would be doing her a favor. While it's hard to turn your back on a relative, you have to take care of your own family first. And yes, you should see if you qualify for WIC thru Social Services. Just remember, you can pick your friends but not your relatives! (unfortunately) Hugs Lyn

If Alexis (I think that's her name, right?) is happy, which it sounds like she is, and gaining weight, and healthy, then PFFTTT on your SIL... All you can do is love your little niece as much as you can and be there for her when she gets older... IMHO, there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you're feeding the little one. There's nothing wrong with jarred baby food, but if you have the means, freshly prepared/mashed food is so much better for the baby. You have a beautiful baby and a beautiful son and you're a great mom. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

Sherry, You are doing your daughter a great service feeding her as you are. Sounds like she is perfectly happy and best of all very healthy. I know given your own issues with insulin and carbs that feeding her as you are may end up sparing her the same experience or at least not have her get a taste for things that might haunt her later in life. Your SIL on the other hand... jimney. The thought of someone scrimping on their child to feed an addiction is so very, very sad. You are a great mom and you are doing what you can for SIL. Giving baby supplies that she cannot turn into something to ingest, smoke or inject is always best. Take care! {{{{HUGS}}}} Kathy

the title is confusing me. It sounded like you are worried about giving your baby issues with food, but you are really also very worried about your niece. first, you can't change the SIL, but you can call child protective services if the baby is neglected or abused and I woould encourage you to do so. But, be ready to step up if custody os removed so the child doesnt end up in foster care with strangers. some foster parents are awesome and some are just awful. been there in the foster care system myself, as were some of my cousins, one of whom at the age of 2 was so badly beaten in foster care that his eyeball was knocked out of him, literally! makes me want to vomit to think of it, his brothers were sexually abused as well. so much for the protection. as for the other issue. are you concerned you are starting your baby on the road to issues with food? It sounds like you are feeding her very well, altho I would not give a baby artificial sweeteners.they may not have carbs, but they are starting the sweet tooth with out any nutrtional benefit, not even the calories to grow on. growing babies need enough calories to grow properly, and should not be on low fat milk etc in the first 2 years. If you are concerned about your babies intake, talk to your pediatrician. maybe take in a log of what Alexis has eaten in the past week and show it to the ped and ask if she is getting enough of what she should be. at this point getting them to eat enough to grow, not restricting thier intake is the goal. I would also ask the ped about using low carb products. kids do need carbs to grow. a baby's needs are not the same as yours with your insulin resistance. I know as a former morbidly obese person I have to be careful with my grandkids, especially my granddaughter ( I take care of them at least 4-5 days a week) not to transfer over my eating issues and try not to make a huge deal out of my food choices in front of them. I struggle with my own eating issues and dont want to create that monster in them. So I offer them a wide variety of healthy foods, fruits, veggies, whole grains, meat, fish, chicken and milk and let them decide which ones they are going to eat and how much. I don't have chips, junk etc in the house, so it is not an issue for them to choose that.

just wanted to say i was reading your awesome profile, I have a son named Joshua Thomas too, and he is 26.