hoping to dump my guilt here so I can breathe

Its Monday, Lunch time, I sit here after a relatively happy weekend except for the fact that my brain wont let go of this horrible guilt I feel left over from Friday. I did the lunch run for work, Pasta. Ofcourse I got chicken alfredo. Then as if that werent enough I found a candy bar in my desk and ate the entire thing over the course of 2 hours. It wasnt a regular bar but one of those huge ones from hershey park 640 calories. I will say it was fabulous but I am so full of regret because I cant really undo that damed candy bar. As I was eating it I actually siad to myself why? I even answered bcause I want it and because I can. Man I gotta stop this dumb train Im riding. I freaked last month when the Docs scale showed me up 3 pounds...which made 205. I had gotten down to 197 but for the last 9 months I had been "playing with" 3 pounds. but now its 8. Could have been 300 for the way I reacted. I see Doc Roe on Friday and as of this minute I just dont know if I can. I know that if I ignore it it wont go away but I dont know if I can face it either. SOmetimes I still hate me ALOT!!! Diana RNY 9/17/03 360/205

Hey Diana, I too am dealing with some leftover weekend guilt. Sugar has no effect on me unless I eat massive amts of it, I can tell when enough is enough. On Friday I bought my husband a container of Tiramisu from Publix. We shared some together, BUT over the course of Saturday I finished it, yes the whole thing. It was around 6-700 calories. I cant believe I wasted almost 1000 calories on junk! Well today I am up 2 pounds because of it. Dont beat yourself up about, just get up dust yourself off and try it again. I know easier said than done. Candy

Guilt is wasted energy. It only makes you feel bad about yourself and leads to more reckless eating. Just say ok I messed up, but I can start over right now and move forward being very careful to stick to your program for a few days to make sure it doesn't result in a weight gain. I've learned to think about what's going in my mouth before I eat it. Occasionally I eat a candy bar, but I evaluate the situation up front to make sure it fits into my 1,000 calorie food plan. I don't make a habit of eating sweets because I know it does nothing for me nutrition wise, but I'm not going to deny myself an occasional treat for the rest of my life. We are human.

Instead of beating yourself up, go work it off. Just 30 minutes on an eliptical will eat up about 400-500 calories. 20 minutes of walking (at 3 mph) eats about 125 calories. Instead of letting the guilt eat you up, go do something good for yourself. And next time that candy bar comes knocking, ask yourself if it's really worth it. I love eliptical machines! Deb

I'm fairly new to the group but I think I'm an expert on guilt....so here goes....Stop it! I agree with Pat, and you should try and except the fact that we're not perfect. Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be human. You can't change the fact that the deed is done, all you can do is better in the future, so move on and talk to yourself about trying harder next time. You know, if a friend or a love one confided in you that they were so upset over such a human thing to do, you would encourage them to forget it and move forward. Love yourself as much as you would them and follow the advice you know you would give them. Now as for me, I'm trying hard to follow my own advice, because sometimes I can be the "stupidist" person I know!

You have to forgive yourself and move on. You're human. Next time you know not to buy the family size candy bar! Chalk it up to PMS and get past it otherwise you're going to eat out of guilt, feel more guilty, etc. You catch my drift - the vicious cycle. Be nice to you.

Bah guilt schmilt ! heh.. Don't beat yourself up.. we ALL do it. I know I eat things I shouldn't eat, but I'm a woman and I blame that.. lol. I have a Hershey Park candy bar too !! It's in my fridge.. been in there for about a month.. I just break a square off when I want some and it satisfies my chocolate craving. Keeping it in the fridge helps.. because it's out of sight and harder to eat. As far as undoin that candy bar.. like suggested.. do an extra workout and viola.. it'll be undone so to say. And sometimes I still hate me too.. my downfall is MikenIkes.. I never even ate them before surgery but now I love em.. talk about BAD.. haha

Thanks for all the responses. I am really working on letting go! I have been trying to keep a calorie count & am amazed at house many calories can be in one little thing GEEZ....know first is really helping. Doesnt always make me stop but sure makes me think hard about it first. Diana

It takes about 3500 calories over your bodies requirements to gain a pound, so you didn't do it with one candy bar. you can't change the past and hating yourself will only feed your hunger to eat more crap. Forgive your self and move on. Today is a new day and you can turn it around. THINK POSITIVE! then go thru and find all this junk, unwrap it and throw it in the nastiest garbage can you can find, or down your garbage disposal. If you don't have a candy bar in your desk you can't eat it. How did it get there in the first place? Do not torture your self by having stuff around that you should not have and then expect you won't eat it . this is reality. Pack a healthy lunch and take your self off lunch run duty. Some one else can do it. when I leave for work in the am I eat breakfast before I go, I pack a mid morning snack, a lunch, and a mid afternoon snack. If I am working a 12 hour shift I pack a dinner too. I also carry a protein bar - a small One Way 160 cal, 15 gms protein, 6 grams sugar, to have when others are into the candy. a regular candy bar is usually about 250 cals, 0 protein and at least 25 grams sugar. I may not eat it all, and my DH may call and say he wants to go out to dinner or I might bring my dinner home to eat, but I have everything I need in my supersize cooler bag. I aso keep a qt size ziplock bag in my lunch bag containing tea bags, packets of splenda, a couple single serve oatmeal packets, a sf hot chocolate, etc in case of an emergency. If I have healthy acceptable alternatives right there it is easier to stay out of the constant stream of junk food, candy, donuts etc. that are in my department at all times. a basic day of food in my lunch bag would usually include snack - a cup of yogurt, & a plastic tupperware container of 1/2 C kashi high protein cereal to mix in, lunch - a sandwich of meat and veggies on 1 slice whole wheat bread or in a tortilla or pita pocket, or a salad with veggies and tuna or chicken, plus a piece of fruit. & a sandwich size ziplock bag of snow peas, or carrots, sliced red and green peppers, etc or other fresh raw veggies, snack - a cheese stick, or cottage cheese, if I bring dinner it woul usually be a sandwich or salad or what ever I have leftover from dinner the night before. that may vary widely, but includes a protein and veggies, maybe a barilla plus pasta on the side. when I pack a sandwich I put the bread in a separate ziplock bag and put the sandwich together when it is time to eat so it is not soggy. It only takes me about 10 minutes in the morning to pack it and I usually am eating my breakast while I do it. It takes a little planning to just be sure I have stuff in the house to pack, but sometimes if I for get to shop I get very creative. get rid of the guilt, it is not going to help yuo in any way. It only paralyzes you from taking control and taking responsibility for your own success. (big giant hugs!) btw, if you feel funny carrying a grocery store into work like I do (LOL) I just want you to know that my co workers express a lot of respect for my determination, persistance and success - several people I work with have had surgery and have not had big successes. I have people asking me to work with them and help them with their weight issues. Your co-workers also will admre you for your hard work and determination to succeed at being healthy.