Problem with teenage comparing herself to mom

Not sure if anyone else has had this problem but I desperately need some advice. My daughter who has several mental health issues but is healthy for her size 5"1 and 120lbs has always been behind me with my surgery with one exception. She believes that moms shouldnt be smaller than thier daughters. Now my dillemia, she is in inpatient treament for her bi-polar in WI and next week-end I will see her for the 1st time since my ps. She told me last night she is struggling with purging again, I am terrified that seeing me is only going to make it worse. I am working with the counslors there but would welcome any advice. Giovanna

No advice here but I wanted to wish you well. It sounds like it is going to be difficult. Glad you are trying to work with her counselors on it. Best wishes, Kathy

HUGS! I have not advice other than to be talking w/ the therapists. Your daughter has serious issues ( I have a son who is bipolar as well as several other loved ones and know how difficult it can be) Eating disorders are rough. I dont know how to make a teenager understand that there are always going to be people who are thinner, prettier etc. and to have a good body and self image. or that moms an daughters come in all shapes and sizes. (I am 4'11" and my kids all tower over me) the pressures in our society are huge. It is difficult for an old lady like me too.

I have an 18 year old daughter who is very competative with me. I have had people tell me that since I lost weight, she has been acting out. I am actually thinner than her but I weight about 5 lbs more. One night my daughter told me that does not like the attention I get because she is accustomed to being the center of attention. I simply told her that it is not fair, for so long I have been surrounded by negativity and I needed something positive. You are doing the right thing by having her seek counseling. Hopefully, they will be able to work with you both so that you can both be happy and healthy. Lori

I just wanted to give you a hug! I also have a daughter (26) who is bipolar, reactive attachment disorder so I definately understand how painful a time you go through! The hardest thing for me while Melissa was growing up was to put her choices and feelings where they belong, with her. All you can do is the best you can do and leave the rest. I hope things go well with you. Email anytime if you want to talk. Hugs, Trudi

"The hardest thing for me while Melissa was growing up was to put her choices and feelings where they belong, with her." really awesome words of wisdom, I didn't know how to say that. It is a challange and a struggle to do that with my son (27)who is bipolar and the rest of my family as well, and not ry to fix everything for them. hugs to you too!