Those last 10 Pounds!
In my case it's the last 6 pounds! I lost down to 106 lbs down from 207. I'm only 4'11" so that lost represented 51% of my total body weight! My Dr.'s original goal for me was 125. My goal was 115. In the last 6 months I have gained back 6 pounds from my lowest weight weight of 106. I am holding steady in the 110-112 range for the past 4 months. I look great, am very physically active riding and showing horses, I comfortably wear a size 2. My husband sees no difference between my weight at 112 and 106 and all of my clothes still feel the same.
But I still feel like a failure!!
I don't understand why. Intellectually I know I've done great but emotionally I feel like I "should" take off those 6 pounds. I find myself thinking about doing a plateau buster diet to nudge the weight off. But another part of me thinks this is a foolish effort. I actually see my surgeon for my 2 year anniversary check-up this week. I'm hoping his positive feedback will settle my mind.
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tek,
i never had a goal also..if i had lost 100 pounds at the weight i was and stood there i would of been happy because i know just being 100 pounds lighter was healthier for me..
i am more active now and i feel like a kid so as for sizes i didnt emphasis and say oh i want to be a size 4 ..
i want to be 120 pounds..man i have enough skin issuess as it is i cant see having any more lol
i look at it like this,.
i struggled enough on conventional weight loss programs wanting to set a goal when i was only 100 pounds overweight and couldnt loose the last 20 pounds..so i just said que sera sera ..what happens happens
joann
I'm one of those struggling with the last 20 lbs. You ask why it is so important. Because it feels like I'm giving up, like it's too hard so I decide it's ok. Like 85% is ok, I don't need to be 100% successful. But it's NOT ok, I've worked so hard and I don't want to give up and that is what it feels like if I settle for 85%. I don't know if I can express it right, but another WLS friend and I have both said that we are really happy to have lost 85% of our excess weight but it's not 100%, so we can't give up. But we both agree that it doesn't matter how long it takes because we are doing this as a change of lifestyle. How would life change? Probably wouldn't. It would just be the satisfaction of knowing that WE DID IT! We didn't give up. I want to be at that point where I can just maintain. I am giving myself a 10lb leeway because I know that weight fluctuates all the time. But I refuse to let myself get over 150 (once I can finally get there, that is).
I am a recent grad and maybe my attitude will change. I'm probably still like a "newbie" to most of you and maybe I have unrealistic goals. Of course, 15 months ago, I thought losing even 100 lbs was unrealistic, but I did it. So I will keep striving for it. I guess a goal is what is keeping me exercising and eating right most of the time. When I reach that goal, then my new goal will be to maintain.
One thing about it, Tek, you ask interesting and thought-provoking questions.
Linda
(deactivated member)
on 8/6/06 6:22 am - Las Vegas, NV
on 8/6/06 6:22 am - Las Vegas, NV
I wanna thank everyone who has and will participate in this thread.
The replies have been interesting for me, to say the least.
Honestly, I think the reasons are varied for you folks and your last 10-20 pounds. The idea that some will be lost if they don't have weight to struggle with is one that occurred to me. Another that it is such a habit for so many years that one just can't switch it off.
Dx, though going on a quite a tangient, related it to being Goal-less. While goals are important, I don't think one needs to have an unattanable goal weight to forever be striving for. Even those of us that had no goal, meaning no "goal weight", did have other goals. Jay wanted a '1'. I wanted to do stuff. I currently have no weight-loss related goals, but I have others, so in that respect I agree that goals are necessary, but not ones that make us unhappy.
Some other folks came up with rationalles why that last 10-20 HAVE to come off. One is (quoting no one in particular) "that is where I... looked best... felt best... was best... etc." I think people forget that years of morbid obesity change are frames and may make that "looked/felt/was" best weight 10 or 20 pounds higher.
I've looked at several pictures of people in this thread, and where pictures existed, I have to say: I disagree with you, I think you look great (Especially Sherry). Of course, it may be because y'all are so extraordinary in my mind that it colours my appraisal. Anyone that knows my history here knows I don't through out idle praise.
I was pondering about "Normal Weight" people. Often, folks here make the arguement that they are emulating normal people, and that normal people do or don't do this particular thing. I've come to the realization that "normal weight" people vex about weight, and don't. Normal weight people count calories, and don't. Normal weight people are constantly trying to get that 10-20 pounds off, and don't. Normal weight people think they look fat, and don't. Normal weight people binge, and don't. Normal weight people lose control, and don't. I think we are more normal than we think.
I wonder if you folks have realized that you may have become that person you used to hate when you were pre-op... That "Thin" person that is always vexing about those 10 or 20 pounds they just MUST lose. Remember when you wished 1) You had such problems, and 2) That they die a slow, painful death.
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Tek,
I was lurking and saw this post and had to reply because I just sent an email to a friend about----those last 20 pounds. I started this journey at 307, sit here today at 173(up 3 pounds today--who knows!) but instead of being proud of the fact that I am 134 pounds less today than I was almost two years ago, I sit here and fret about what a loser I am....and not in the positive OH way. I was told by my surgeon my goal was 150. I am 36 and 5'2 and he said anything less than 150 would be unhealthy for me after plastic surgery. So, that 150, that elusive last 20 pounds is, in my mind, what keeps me from saying I was a success. I lost the equivelant of a person but still do not feel like I succeeded. In society, I am deemed normal, but my BMI is still OBESE and that stands out to me in big, huge neon letters. Am I healthier- most definitely so! But when I look in the mirror, I see how far I still need to go.......not how far I have come.
Thanks for the post!!!
Tina
2 things,
1. Great health cannot be bought, it needs to be constructed. THUS my theory that we need goals and after we reach one, we just make a goal to go a little further, perhaps add strength training, up the workout, choose a new sport etc.
2. Fitness is a journey, not a destination. A goal weight is one very small step in the journey
Just my 10 cents worth. Melinda
there you go again, reading my mind - how do you do that?
the goal given me by my dr was "lets see where your body wants to settle in"
I hated him for not giving me a number at the time (will I get to under 200 pounds? he just smiled at that question)
Now I see the wisdom in his answer. He will never know the gift he gave me.
MY body settled in at 135-140, and at 4'11" tall that is definately overweight by my 27 BMI. but, I am muscular, feel good, exercise regularly and life is good. I think sometimes I question if I "deserve" it. I wear size medium/or 8 petites. not exactly fat, altho I sometmes see short and kinda chunky when I look in the mirror.
It is not necesarily the number on the scale or the BMI but our own perception of being a worthwhile person living a meaningful life. After going thru a really rough period of severe depression and therapy and sorting out, A lot of things are so much clearer. Like setting new goals that are not weight or appearance related. getting my bachelors degree, taking claasses that are interesting and intellectually fulfilling. Being able to leg press 200 pounds by my birthday
( am up to 10 reps at 160) living out some of the dreams I I expressed pre wls such as going on all the scary rollercoaster rides I didn't fit on before. planning a trip - - that will not take place for about 2 years, but I plan to attempt to walk coast to coast - in England with a group (its only about 80- 90 miles so don't be too impressed- but for someone who used to have to rest after 1 flight of stairs it is like a dream come true to know that I can do it.) Improving my photography skills. go on a safari, taking a public speaking class so maybe I can learn to effectively share my experiences with others.
Now these are some goals worth working towards!!!!
I think the feeling of deserving success is the big question. My dr made the statement that some people dont believe they deserve such a good thing to happen to them, so they sabotage themselves. sad, but I think very true.
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With me it's not really about X number of pounds. What I want is to make this little roll above my waist go away. It would change my life because I have always had it, even at my thinnest (which wasn't thin) and I want it GONE. I'm tired of looking in the mirror, thinking I finally look pretty good except for that darn roll!
Sounds petty, but it would do so much for my self-esteem.
Lynne
297.5/187/150ish