Those last 10 Pounds!

Happiness is not included. I'm a bit terrified of coming to the end of this weight loss journey. Once before I lost down to normal weight. It didn't make me happy. It didn't make me feel "normal". Of course, I ate to deal with those feelings. I'm terrified that may happen again. Torrey (281/185/160)

I always said I did not have a goal. Then I made small goals. Then more goals. My surgeon never gave me a goal weight. When you have lost 70% of your excess weight you are a success to them. Anything more is gravy. There are no before and after pictures on the walls. They do not take pictures at all. There is no sense of pressure to do more than the best you can while following the guidelines given. I think a huge part of the goal and "last 10 pounds" to the goal is built up HERE on these boards. Some of it is built up in the doctors office, of those taking pictures of their patients and setting generic goals and then transfered to the message boards. I have picked up good and bad habits from reading these boards over the past 2 years. Just my thoughts. M

"How would life change if you added 10 (or 20) pounds to your goal, then declared the weight loss journey complete?" I dunno...lost probably. Karen pretty much summed up my feelings better than I actually could have written myself. I never have gotten to the point that I see a 'normal' person in the mirror. Maybe I don't look close enough...or, I look too close(?). I have tried and failed to sustain weight loss (when I even achieved it) my entire life until WLS. And, even now, I am feeling like a failure...probably why I do not post here much. Not that I do not enjoy the posts (I lurk a LOT) and the people here...I just do not feel that I deserve the 'Grad status'. I made it to, and surpassed where my surgeon wanted/expected me to be...even post-op post-pregnancy, I am still under that goal. I'm also under my own original goal. So, what happened? I grew up believing that nothing I did was good enough...I guess that I still believe it. Therapy warranted? Ummm...yep...most likely. Small steps...two months ago I stopped weighing daily and went to weekly (still trying to be happy that the scale does not go up vs. being depressed that it hasn't gone down). What frightens me the most is that, with my health factors, I can NEVER relax in regards to my weight...I just gain too easily. Unlike many, I can easily understand how a post-op could gain a significant amount of weight back. I can see myself in that scenario and it gives me the heebie-jeebies. Somedays, it REALLY is hard to balance health, sanity and peace of mind... ~~Sherry

Hi Sherry. First off, you are definitely not a failure and you deserve "grad status" for sure! You are an inspiration to many even if you don't know it! I have to agree that I always felt nothing I did was good enough. Weird that I didn't really think about that in this case until you mentioned it. I guess I try to push those feelings down~hence my weighing 328lbs! I also feel like I will never be able to relax in regards to weight~I've always had to worry about it and I don't think that will ever end. I can certainly understand how a post op could gain a signifcant amount of weight back~that scares the hell out of me and makes me try to stay on top of my game. I have no clue how things will go in the coming years, but I'm sure going to try to fight ever pound off. It sounds so exhausting to me, LOL! Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

((((((((((Tracy)))))))))) You are good for my soul! THAT is the word I was looking for...exhausting... I AM exhausted...of counting calories, of making sure that protein makes up at least 75% of my caloric intake, of making sure that I drink at least 128 ozs. of water daily, etc. I am just plain TIRED...LOL (((HUGS))) ~~Sherry

Sherry, Like Tracy, I am also a big admirer of you, your journey, and your posts! You are one that I get inspiration from--not that I have you on a pedestal, but your common sense, your attitude, and approach to all the various discussions just almost always strikes me right on! And the fact that you have struggles of your own makes me feel like I can cope with my own. You are definitely a winner in my book! Jo

((((((((((Jo)))))))))) If you admire anything, admire the fact that, after reading, responding to and thinking about this thread most of the day...I'm making an appointment with a therapist this week. Thank you...BOTH you and Tracy are true sweethearts. (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you Sherry! Tracy B

Hi Tracy. Thanks for your earlier reply to me up higher in the thread. You say you have no clue how things will go in the coming years. My question: If you don't know how things will go in the coming years, who does? Who is in control? Your family/co-workers/friends? What could challenge your success? Cir****tance/temptation/emotions? I think you are full of clues! You are clueful (vs. clueless that you claim to be)! Reply to these clues and I believe you will find the you already knew the answer... This person realized your hopes and dreams, took control and is responsible for both your successes and your challenges ______________________________. This person controls your committment to lifelong success in challenging situations whether they be emotional, tempting, or difficult _________________________________. Looking forward to your reply. Karen

Karen, I know you're right~I am the one in control now, maybe for the first time in my life. I guess that's what's so scary about it all! What could challenge my success? Losing control, going back to my old eating habits, gaining weight, feeling like a failure and then wallowing in it, which would only lead to more weight gain. I do think that emotions play a huge part in all of this for me so I am trying to deal with that issue. You are so right though~I am in control and I need to take responsibility for that. I am definitely committed to LIFELONG success and I know that I am willing to do whatever it takes to continue to be successful. There will be temptations and difficult times down the line I'm sure, but I will be ready to face them head on and come out on top! When I read of so many gaining weight back it terrifies me~I will remember what you said though~I am the one in control! Thank you so much!!!!! Tracy B