Those last 10 Pounds!

So often, I see post-ops struggling to get those last 10 (or 20) pounds off. Its a battle, seelingly as large as the pre-op battle to lose. People struggling with 'those last 10 pounds' seem miserable, like they are fighting a losing battle. Many times, they are willing to go to draconian measures to try to lose 'those last 10 pounds.' Many times, I've looked at pictures of someone vexing over 'those last 10 pounds,' and I just don't see it. So... if you're struggling with 'those last 10 (or 20) pounds' for several months, WHY is it so important? How can 10 (or 20) pounds be the difference between Joy and Desolation? How would life change if you added 10 (or 20) pounds to your goal, then declared the weight loss journey complete? (Note: I never had a goal).

I think I am starting to understand why the last of bit of weight is so important... My observation/hypothesis/theory: If one focuses on the challenges, one never has to accept the success. I am beginning to believe that for so many WLS post-ops, the thought of accepting success is far more scary than the challenge of weight loss. The scary haunting questions may be OK, I reached my goal...now what? How the hell am I supposed to stay here? How do I know that I will get fat again? I have lost and gained the equivalent of 12 people in my lifetime...how do I know I won't gain it all back? In other words, if we say that we are happy, comfortable, feeling healthy at a reasonable weight then what? So, let's keep trying...because our MD really wants us to get to some arbitrary weight based on some standard of bull**** In the end, I think the MD's want us to get to that BS weight because they have no confidence, or cannot offer solutions/strategies for maintenance and the expectation is that we will have some regain. The bottom line to my theory: The thought of a weight loss journey completed is frightening as the intrepid traveler now has to navigate the rest of his/her life. Karen

Karen, You completely expressed just how I feel! I've made goal, so now what?!?! What the h*ll am I gonna do??? Obviously I've never been good at maintaining my weight or I wouldn't have ended up at 328lbs, So how do I maintain? I would NOT be happy if I gained weight back~I would feel like a total failure, so gaining weight is not an option. I agree also that if my journey is "complete" then how do I just live my life? I've always had to diet or worry about my weight~take that out of the equation and what will I fill my thoughts with? Its a scary feeling! I know there is so much more to my life than what I weigh, but it has consumed me for so long. I'm almost even afraid to say that I've made my goal b/c then what? I'm done? I don't feel like I'll ever really be done losing weight~like should I go for 140? then what 130? I guess the key is going to be finding happiness within myself, loving myself, accepting myself. I'm not sure how to get there yet, but I'm sure working on making it there. As I always say "I'm a work in progress"~it seems on so many levels. Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

Tracy, it appears from your reply that you and I are dealing with the same issues/fears: is this enough weight, worry about regain, just what happens now? The losing weight for me was a breeze, this is by far much harder to deal with. Not only not being sure what to do or where to go from here but learning to like myself and being happy with seeing myself as I am. I still see the old me, no matter what others say (all positive), I don't see it or get it *sigh*. I hope at some point I can turn the corner and be satisfied. Dana

Amen! I reached my goal weight of 160 a few weeks ago. There is definitely a weird sensation that goes along with it. Thus far, I haven't gotten into the "what if I revised my goal down just a few pounds so that i have more sluff room" mode. I have put some of my drive for changes into now focusing on trying to get my body fat percentage down. It is at it's lowest at 24.5% (if I catch the scale/measurer on a good day when I'm extremely well hydrated). I'm shooting for 20% given extra skin and all that jazz. It gives me something else to work on, I guess. Body fat doesn't seem to change fast so I'm sure it will take a while and there isn't the more immediate thing of getting on the scale one day and the next and seeing a change. Not sure what I'll work on after that but hopefully it'll be the organization of this house! Kathy

Karen, your reply couldn't have come at a better time for me. I know it's crazy but now that "losing weight" isn't consuming my life, I know let my obessive/compulsive self dwell on gaining, not maintaining, etc. I am consumed with WLS and I really do need to figure our how to go on living but still remain making the healthy lifestyle changes I've made. You're a long-term PO, do we always remain obessive about this journey or does it get easier? The losing weight for me was the easy part, now that I'm at goal and dealing with life in general, it can be very challenging. Dana

I will lose the last 10 pounds!! * *Happiness not included Epicurus Just look at the commercials and keeping up with the neighbors. All these advertisements include what we REALLY want as the messages are confused. For example, the Bacardi commercial will show friends happy together sitting outside with a gorgeous view. Ah, what I "need" is Bacardi!!! * But what *I* really want is friends together and happiness. Another, Hummer commercial.......restore your manhood....buy a Hummer. * But what happens once you obtain these goods and/or services? What happens when that feeling of inadequacy returns? What will you have to buy then? * Most things have a price. Money can even buy your friendship (or so one thinks). What it can't buy is TRUE happiness, peace, love, joy, family, intimacy, etc. Epicurus He wrote his entire philosophy on the wall at the market place to remind people that it was the simple things in life they truly wanted: to be self-sustaining, friends and family, love, peace...simplicity. Apparently, it didn't work very well. Look at the market places we have today! Huge malls screaming to us at every turn that we need x, y, and even z and we'll be happy! Epicurus School of Plato -- Socrates The unattainable is so attractive. Some will kill for it. * Peace. Love. Happiness. How are these things obtained? Purchased? Loss of weight? * Want to change the world? Great! Start with yourself! When *we* change, the world changes. * Happiness not included. PS I left G-d out of this because we certainly don't want this to turn into a religious debate!!!

You and Karen really hit the nail on the head! We all want something more, something better....more $$$$, more stuff, more weightloss......on and on and on! We think this will make us "happy", but isn't true happiness found from within? Sometimes its hard to accept that. The unattainable is attractive in so many ways, but why do we want it so much? B/c we "think" it will bring us happiness? As they say, The grass isn't always greener! Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

As always my dear friend you have a wonderful way with words. My tag line on my signature says it all "life is good" and it is. Yes, yes, I'm still a ways from an imaginary number goal, but I FEEL great, I look pretty good (if I do say so myself...) and IF my weight doesn't want to come off any further, well then so be it...as long as it doesn't come back on! *smile*. Life IS good and it is for living, not for watching every single calorie that goes into the mouth....that is paranoia and I refuse to live my life in it's grip. I'm taking off for a week on Puget Sound with my family. What am I looking forward to the most? The boat?, The jet skiing? A spa day at Rosario? No, I'm looking forward to seeing their faces, to hearing their voices and spending TIME with those I love. I'm looking forward to reading a book and watching for bald eagles and Orca whales and marveling in *G*'s handiwork. This is the "stuff" of life as you so put it and LIFE IS GOOD. Love ya, Trisha (The former Pat LOL)