What is the Right Weight for Me?????
I don't imagine anyone has the answer to this question, but I'm confused and I want to rant for a moment. I lost 162 pounds, but have regained 10 of them. I still exercise 6 days a week, usually for at least an hour and sometimes two, and I still haven't eaten any white flour products, sugar, or rice since my surgery three years ago. I must be eating too much, but I don't seem to be able to get it under control. Here's the thing. I'm still in the "ideal" range, but I feel fat. One friend tells me I should keep losing weight and get to a size 2 (I'm currently a size 8.). Another tells me that I looked unhealthy at my lowest weight and I finally look healthy now. My family, of course, says I'm fine no matter what my weight. My doctor says that as long as my BMI is in the "ideal" range, I shouldn't worry. I'm 5'9" and 157 pounds, and after three years, there's still a fat lady in my mirror. AND I look at folks who have had WLS and regained everything and wonder if there's even any hope at all!
How do you decide where your weight should be, and what do you do about weight gain when you're still eating the right foods and exercising? I'd appreciate any input you may have.
Good luck to all of you in this very difficult journey.
As always, check with your healthcare professional(s). There are also tests for body fat ratios. If your body fat ratios are in their proper limits then you can't be fat. Yes?
JMO but at 5'9" tall and 157 there doesn't seem to be any way you are FAT! Regaining a bit of weight is NORMAL. I suspect your body likes to be where it is. You're exercising and you have to have muscle to do so. Muscle weighs more than fat.
If you're not after three years seeing in the mirror what is truly there, you may consider seeking counseling to get that under control. Not seeing your body in perspective can be dangerous to you in a variety of ways.
I hope this helps,
Vanessa
Honey, I think you are there! Weight looks different on everyone depending on skeletal density, extra skin weight, muscle density, frame size, etc. so it is hard to say a specific number.
The person who thinks you should lose to a size 2 is ill, just plain ill. The friend who says you look healthy now is probably accurate.
For me, at 5' 7.5"... I picked an arbitrary number 160. It puts my BMI in normal range (barely). Figured with a heavier skeleton from being overweight so long and extra skin.... it wasn't reasonable to expect to get to weights on some of the weight charts. Truly I figured that I'd know "I'm there" when I got there. Luckily for me... I reached 160 (okay now I"m up 3.5 lbs from that) and I think I look good right here. Yes, I am able to see it. Hasn't been easy. I see the skin rolls and issues but I can separate them from the "fat" and realize more weight loss isn't going to make it go away. I work hard at the gym. My goal is to reduce my body fat by another 4-5%. I won't it where I'd like it to be because of skin which I assume those scales/machines would think is fat since it isn't dense like muscle. So I'm working on that through some heart rate training program.
All I can say... don't get caught up in a specific number. Yet, I think it is important to set an "acceptable" weight range for yourself and if you go above that... drop back and focus on basics and get back into your acceptable range. My husband is going through that right now. He has regained about 20 lbs. (He is 2 years post-op today.)
It is probably a good idea to log what you eat for a few days and get an idea of total calories you are eating just to know where you are at. I don't know about you but I eat the same most days.
Good luck, Kathy
If you truly don't know what is the right weight for you, you need to:
1. Ask for an opinion from an unbiased party (maybe a doctor, nutritionist, or trainer). Do NOT listen to friends, family, or your pet hamster, they all have hidden and not so hidden agendas (some good, some evil) and their opinions will never be helpful. Please don't try to lose to a certain size. Is that a size 2 Donna Karan or a size 2 Walmart brand?
2. Stop looking at the numbers (weight and size). Look at other parameters that may skew your weight from a "normal" (non-ex-obese) person, parameters such as heavier bones (from years of obesity), loose skin (once it's just skin and not fat, forget about losing any more weight until it's cut off), and age. Also how many times in the past you have lost and regained a significant amount of weight.
3. Consider how you feel at your current weight (emotionally and physically) and consider some therapy to help you get past that fat lady in the mirror.
Thanks for the good luck wishes and right back at ya! I see you as a major WLS success. At 3 years out, don't you think it's time you starting enjoying your life? I hope you find a way to do that, and let us know how it goes.
Carole
Hi Marty! I am also 5'9" and currently weigh 150lbs. My husband DOES NOT want me to lose another ounce and would probably prefer if I was just a little bit heavier, like around 160lbs~that's where he thinks I look the best.
When I was 6mths post op I asked my surgeon what he thought my "goal weight" should be. He worked with some figures and said 165lbs. I told him that my ultimate goal was to get to 150lbs. He said he thought I would probably make it there, but might not like my body at that weight~he felt I would be too thin. I hit 164lbs on my 1yr anniversary and have slowly lost another 14lbs more since then. Even now in my mind it doesn't seem like its enough, I still feel like I need to be losing. Maybe its just because I've had to be trying to lose for so many years that I don't know any different. I wear a size 6 or an 8 and I'm comfortable with that~I don't need to be a size 2! That would be WAY too thin!
I weigh myself daily so I know exactly where I'm at. If I see that I've gained a pound or two, I try do deal with it right away. I'm very careful about what I eat and watch portion size, push protein and water and continue to exercise. Those pounds come right back off and hopefully will continue to do so as long as I stay on top of things~I so fear that 2lbs will lead to 20lbs will lead to 100lbs, know what I mean?!?!?!
So, to me I think you're doing great right where you are! Obviously your body is happy at that weight and you've been able to maintain if for awhile which is wonderful! Good Luck to You!
Tracy B
328/150
5'9"
Marty,
Every person is different as to what thier weight should be, but you know that already. As for gaining some weight back, my dr. told me right from the start that it is normal to gain 5-10lbs back after a period of time. Although I havent experienced this yet, I will not be surprised if it happens. I look at it this way, if I am at a healthy bmi, and mainting than thats all I can ask for and all I did post-op.
As for still seeing the "fat lady" in the mirror, I agree with the person who suggested counseling. I am almost 2yrs out and it did take a while to see the new me, but I did it. One thing that was suggested to me and helped a lot was a shopping trip with a friend to revel in my new look, cute clothes, new style etc. Now I am tottally excited and love my new body, rolls and all!!!
Good luck to you.
Giovanna
My surgeon does not pick a goal weight for us. He says your body will decide. It looks like your body has decided. Rejoice in that. I'll bet you look terrific. How do you feel? I don't mean how do you feel about how you look. How do you feel? Do you feel energetic? Are you satisfied when you eat? Do your clothes fit well? I am proud of you. Enjoy your new life. Loris
This wls calculator helped me set realistic goals. I hope it does the same for you
HT
http://www.thinnerself.com/files/calculator.htm
Aloha, Pat 
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