Going down a slippery slope

I'm new to this site and not sure exactly what I'm doing, but here goes. I have been reading some of the posts which have been helpful. I need some suggestions. I had my surgery (RNY) and did very well dropping from 232 to 145 during the first year. Since I never considered myself to be extremely morbidly obese, I was just sure this surgery would free me from diets the rest of my life. I have been good about taking the supplements, but otherwise just sort of did my own thing - eating between meals, sugar in the raw for my tea and coffee, a glass of wine before, during, and after dinner. The wine curbed my appetite for food, but after months of brain fog and my husband's pleas, I stopped altogether this past New Year's Eve. Now I still eat just about anything I want - less than I used to at one setting, but I make up for it between meals. I feel like I'm on an upward spiral. My clothes don't fit. I'm wearing a size 16 and was down to a 10. Waking up to reality and 35 pounds heavier has been depressing. I guess the party's over and I have to face the music. It was such a wonderful time when I could shop for regular size clothes and my husband described me as "hot". I thought I would stay thin forever. I am so mad with myself. Has anyone had a similar experience?

I'm right there with you.....Lost down to about size 12/14 (at 5'9") that made me pretty "skinny". Now back up to 16, and some 18s.....Having to REALLY get back to the basics and RE-learn to use the TOOL I have been given... It's hard and I feel for you. It's not magic anymore. There are some wonderful support meetings here in the Jackson, MS area, and I am going to start going to them. I've only gone to about 2-3 in the 3 years since surgery.....Going to get my blood counts (been really anemic this year) on time and go to the doctor regularly. Going to get more positive and ACTIVE about this weight gain. I have for some reason (fatigue/anemia?) stopped exercising in the last year.....So, just take it one day at a time. There are a lot of good ideas on this grad board, and a lot of people who are really supportive on here, so come and post often, read what others have to say.....it is really starting to help me, coming to this board. I really admire you for admitting the problems you have, and starting to seek advice and help. DeAnna.

Thanks DeAnna. My son will be going back to school in another week. I hope to get back to a group meeting then. I feel embarrassed to see others after I've put the weight on, but then again, support is what the meeting is all about. I have been trying to walk on a treadmill at least 4-5 times a week. I have also been anemic for past several months and the doctor just switched me to a liquid iron twice a day. If my counts don't come up this month, I will be going to a hematologist for IV iron. I feel tired and don't push myself too much when exercising. I try to go to our local YMCA religiously for my best friend. She's going thru chemo for colon cancer at 43. It's pretty hard to say I don't really feel like going if she's making the effort. Take care and good luck to you. Basics. That's what I have to get back to.

I, too, find myself in a larger size than I'd like to be in. I was down to a 14 at my lowest, just before my brother died, and then all hell broke loose around here and I got sick, and now I'm in 18W's and it scares me, but I seem to be holding rather steady here. I'm hoping that if we can get my pain under control - I see a new neurologist in September - that I can at least start exercising again, and I know that will help. I know part of it is depression from being out of work, out of money, and worried about bills, my kids, and dealing with chronic pain 24/7. I've never gone back to eating sugar instead of Splenda, but I do eat things with sugar in them now like bagels (way too many!) and graham crackers...and I know that is part of my problem. I'm trying really hard not to fall back into the same old habits that got me fat fat in the first place. Seeing this post made me feel like at least I'm not alone!

You've come to a great place for support, folks on this board are great. So many have been there, done that. Like the other post said, it's time to get back to basics and use the 'tool'. That's what I've had to do too. I started tracking my food with my FitDay.com program this helps me really see what I'm eating daily. I also joined the local Fitness Center, got to move to loose. It was hard at first but I enjoy it. Hang in there!!! Tracy A.

Did you keep any kind of a diary while you were following the program early out? I've found that if I read mine every now and then, it helps keep me focused. I started to do less and less exercise until I was hardly doing any. I knew that was my downfall. That's what has always happened in the past. The exercise was the first to go. I recognized that I was starting to revert back to my old habits. One of the gals at our support group meeting asked me to be in a Sawtooth Relay Race (walkers and runners allowed). I said Yes before I had anytime to think about it and back out. Long story short, due to other obligations I couldn't be in it but I did help someone else out with their training schedule. I remember how good I felt (and exhausted) when I walked 2 miles. I didn't start training until late March and on July 23rd, I walked/jogged 13.5 miles (jogged about 1/3 of that). Maybe you just need something to challenge yourself. Plus, by doing something like this it helps keep me away from snacking so much. I just responded to an earlier post "What am I doing!" and I posted what I do about the food issues in case you care to read it. Anyway, I hope this helps. Bottom line....it all comes down to you and how badly you want it. I refuse to go on anymore "diets", I plan on making sure that my diet is as healthy as I can most of the time. We formerly MO must forever watch what we eat, how much we eat, and exercise. We'll never be at that point where we can eat anything and everything. So, I'm putting forth a challenge to you. I challenge you to throw away the bad snack foods today....not tomorrow but today. I challenge you to walk a mile TODAY and TOMORROW. I challenge you to push yourself a little harder every day. I challenge you to think about every morsel that pass thru your lips. Get out a favorite size 10 outfit where you can see it everyday and once a month, try it on. I'd bet you that you can get in that size 10 sooner rather than later. Start right now, not tomorrow. Linda

Carolyn, you've come to the right place. Many of us are struggling. But you can go back to the basic rules---no grazing, no drinking with meals, protein first, cut down on the "white carbs", etc., and the pouch will still work. Exercise is key to success, as is getting support, preferably from a local support group. And we're here for you, cheering you on. Yes, the honeymoon's over. Now it's necessary to make good food choices and get exercise to avoid weight gain. You can do it!! Hugs, Connie -147#