A really great point!
Good morning, Christina!
By the way - that is a terrific face pic!!! 
You know, both you and Linda make very good points. However, in my last few years as a group leader, what I have found with regains is quite simple - - at first, there is a slight regain of what is usually water weight. The person sees this and panics. They become depressed and embarrassed. They don't go to their support meeting, they become quiet and withdrawn. This leads to more weight gain, and then it goes in a spiral from there. Unfortunately, if some of these folks would have taken control and gotten back in the saddle (with some help from their groups, their leaders, or their peers - but so many are afraid to ask for help), the water weight quickly comes back off, and maintenance is possible. But once the vicious cycle starts, then it is a slowly ascending staircase back to a large gain.
The main reason that I posted THIS particular rant, is simply because I saw so much of MYSELF in it - and in my own mindset. Yes, I am at goal (past goal!), but it has been such a tremendously horrible struggle to stay here. There are weekends when I let the old me come back, and then Monday I am up 8 pounds! This is when I apply a "take control" attitude, and not panic or be ashamed....and in the next 3 days it comes right back off. But I guarantee if I let myself get down or caught in the mind games that our brains play with us, it could quickly get out of control.
Too many people in my support groups who have come from various surgery centers have the wrong idea about their surgery. I am sure you have read many times in various places on OH about folks who incorrectly view their surgery as a "fix", and not as the true tool that it is. Well, that is a very sad reality - so many people still believe that this is a 'fix' and are surprised when they come to a support group and learn otherwise. That just tells me that their surgeons/doctors/etc. didn't really prepare them for the trip they were about to embark upon...
I believe whole heartedly that the message in this rant is very valuable to many people - however, I do agree that perhaps it could have been delivered differently. I can see that SM is very passionate and perhaps jumps to say things that might not be completely thought out beforehand - she just jumps right in and speaks her mind. And heaven knows, if I was to always just speak my mind, I would have a great deal of enemies, as anyone would....
Anyway, I just wished to clarify the original reason for sharing this rant, was just because I saw so much of me in there - and sometimes looking at myself with all of the outside layers peeled away and exposed, and then sharing that with my peers here on OH, is very empowering.
I hope you have a terrific day, and thanks so much for your post!
Michael
Michael A. Campellone
OH Support Group Leader
SABariatrics WLS Support Group
Dothan, AL (334) 718-4518
You know, both you and Linda make very good points. However, in my last few years as a group leader, what I have found with regains is quite simple - - at first, there is a slight regain of what is usually water weight. The person sees this and panics. They become depressed and embarrassed. They don't go to their support meeting, they become quiet and withdrawn. This leads to more weight gain, and then it goes in a spiral from there. Unfortunately, if some of these folks would have taken control and gotten back in the saddle (with some help from their groups, their leaders, or their peers - but so many are afraid to ask for help), the water weight quickly comes back off, and maintenance is possible. But once the vicious cycle starts, then it is a slowly ascending staircase back to a large gain.
The main reason that I posted THIS particular rant, is simply because I saw so much of MYSELF in it - and in my own mindset. Yes, I am at goal (past goal!), but it has been such a tremendously horrible struggle to stay here. There are weekends when I let the old me come back, and then Monday I am up 8 pounds! This is when I apply a "take control" attitude, and not panic or be ashamed....and in the next 3 days it comes right back off. But I guarantee if I let myself get down or caught in the mind games that our brains play with us, it could quickly get out of control.
Too many people in my support groups who have come from various surgery centers have the wrong idea about their surgery. I am sure you have read many times in various places on OH about folks who incorrectly view their surgery as a "fix", and not as the true tool that it is. Well, that is a very sad reality - so many people still believe that this is a 'fix' and are surprised when they come to a support group and learn otherwise. That just tells me that their surgeons/doctors/etc. didn't really prepare them for the trip they were about to embark upon...
I believe whole heartedly that the message in this rant is very valuable to many people - however, I do agree that perhaps it could have been delivered differently. I can see that SM is very passionate and perhaps jumps to say things that might not be completely thought out beforehand - she just jumps right in and speaks her mind. And heaven knows, if I was to always just speak my mind, I would have a great deal of enemies, as anyone would....
Anyway, I just wished to clarify the original reason for sharing this rant, was just because I saw so much of me in there - and sometimes looking at myself with all of the outside layers peeled away and exposed, and then sharing that with my peers here on OH, is very empowering.
I hope you have a terrific day, and thanks so much for your post!
Michael
Michael A. Campellone
OH Support Group Leader
SABariatrics WLS Support Group
Dothan, AL (334) 718-4518 
Hey Michael,
Let's face it... Susan Maria has a very strong personality and has no qualms about stating her opinion. She has a right to. She has her own story and everyone should form their own opinion and try not to trip on other's rants. I always try to learn from each comment made and take the good and leave the bad or what does not pertain to me. She has alot of power and with it goes responsibility for what is said.
Eventhough I understood why you chose to open this discussion and I believe it to be valid, there are others that will not or cannot relate to the necessity of discussing the "uncomfortable" topics of obesity and why we got there in the first place. If we all had our stuff together pre-op, we probably would be at a healthy weight and not need surgery to correct our health issue. That is all it is to me. A health issue. Just like fixing depression with therapy or regaining financial independence, self esteem, etc.
I do not think Susan Maria is wrong in saying what she feels. I agree with her also on the same level that you do. I picked up a few things she wrote and discovered the good, and I left the things that did not pertain to my reality. I expect others will be helped by her also.
One thing I do not agree with is lumping all of us into stereotypes that limit our individuality. I am so much more than my past weight problem. I only hope others will gain what I have from this fantastic opportunity to improve my health.
Keep up the great support for those that need your guidance. Every one of us have beautiful gifts to offer those that want to grow and become healthier.
HUGS.
Christina
It makes me angry when some WLS patients point the finger at others as if they are "weak" and "failures" if they don't keep the weight off. To me, the failure of some just points out how very, very hard it is to beat this addiction, this hormonal trap, or whatever you want to call obesity. I realize now, after lap band, that I would never have been able to do this without surgery. I realize what a powerful force obesity is. And all the attendant problems -- depression, etc. -- that come with it.
We should feel sorry for those who don't succeed, not point the finger at them. Because except for the grace of the universe, there we all might be.
Should there be more counseling and post-surgery support? Sure. But I think all this simply highlights how horribly difficult obesity is to overcome.
Hi Linda!
You know, both you and Christina make very good points. However, in my last few years as a group leader, what I have found with regains is quite simple - - at first, there is a slight regain of what is usually water weight. The person sees this and panics. They become depressed and embarrassed. They don't go to their support meeting, they become quiet and withdrawn. This leads to more weight gain, and then it goes in a spiral from there. Unfortunately, if some of these folks would have taken control and gotten back in the saddle (with some help from their groups, their leaders, or their peers - but so many are afraid to ask for help), the water weight quickly comes back off, and maintenance is possible. But once the vicious cycle starts, then it is a slowly ascending staircase back to a large gain.
The main reason that I posted THIS particular rant, is simply because I saw so much of MYSELF in it - and in my own mindset. Yes, I am at goal (past goal!), but it has been such a tremendously horrible struggle to stay here. There are weekends when I let the old me come back, and then Monday I am up 8 pounds! This is when I apply a "take control" attitude, and not panic or be ashamed....and in the next 3 days it comes right back off. But I guarantee if I let myself get down or caught in the mind games that our brains play with us, it could quickly get out of control.
Too many people in my support groups who have come from various surgery centers have the wrong idea about their surgery. I am sure you have read many times in various places on OH about folks who incorrectly view their surgery as a "fix", and not as the true tool that it is. Well, that is a very sad reality - so many people still believe that this is a 'fix' and are surprised when they come to a support group and learn otherwise. That just tells me that their surgeons/doctors/etc. didn't really prepare them for the trip they were about to embark upon...
I believe whole heartedly that the message in this rant is very valuable to many people - however, I do agree that perhaps it could have been delivered differently. I can see that SM is very passionate and perhaps jumps to say things that might not be completely thought out beforehand - she just jumps right in and speaks her mind. And heaven knows, if I was to always just speak my mind, I would have a great deal of enemies, as anyone would....
Anyway, I just wished to clarify the original reason for sharing this rant, was just because I saw so much of me in there - and sometimes looking at myself with all of the outside layers peeled away and exposed, and then sharing that with my peers here on OH, is very empowering.
I hope you have a terrific day, and thanks so much for your post!
Michael
Michael A. Campellone
OH Support Group Leader
SABariatrics WLS Support Group
Dothan, AL (334) 718-4518
Wow, has it been interesting to read all of these responses. So I might as well throw my voice into the fray. Here goes!
Regardless of peoples' personal opinions about the "ranter," there are a few general WLS facts as I see them:
- WLS is hugely serious, and none of us undertake it lightly.
- It does not work, long term, for EVERYone. Some of us are "stars," some of us are not.
- Those *****gain tend to "disappear," especially in the presense of those who do not regain - who wants to listen to someone who has not "failed" tell them what they're doing wrong or should be doing to be successful? They KNOW what they should do to be successful - doing it is another matter entirely.
- As much as we might not like to believe so, WLS has become hugely commercialized - hospitals see it as a very profitable venture. Any time that something becomes as popular and well-publicized as is WLS (who has NOT seen or heard a commercial for a local WLS program?), it is easier for the program to lose sight of the individual patient, and therefore for those at risk of difficulty actually experiencing that difficulty.
- The standard "psych clearance" is woefully insufficient to identify, much less address and successfully treat, psychological issues which may have an impact on eating behaviors and impulses. That being said, even very extensive psychological intervention is usually unsuccessful, by itself, in "treating and curing" MO.
These "facts" leave me with some serious questions:
- WHY do some people fail WLS? I doubt that it is from lack of desire to succeed. I also doubt that it is from failure to know what one should or should not eat. So the question needs to be deeper - WHAT impells people, so overwhelmingly and irresistably, to eat in a way that they know will contribute to failure? I suspect that it's not just psychological or physiological, but rather a combination of these factors.
- WHEN (I'm being optimistic and not saying "if") we can identify that cause, WHAT can be done about it?
My personal feeling is that there is a disconnect between MO patients and their physicians regarding the understanding and experience of eating behaviors and impulses. In fact, this has been the topic of my Masters Thesis. Unfortunately, I don't have the answers; I'm just trying to more clearly understand and define the problems, so that someone smarter than I CAN find the answers.
There. There's my two cents' worth. By the way, I am 3 1/2 years out, maintaining suitably, but not without struggle.
Regardless of peoples' personal opinions about the "ranter," there are a few general WLS facts as I see them:
- WLS is hugely serious, and none of us undertake it lightly.
- It does not work, long term, for EVERYone. Some of us are "stars," some of us are not.
- Those *****gain tend to "disappear," especially in the presense of those who do not regain - who wants to listen to someone who has not "failed" tell them what they're doing wrong or should be doing to be successful? They KNOW what they should do to be successful - doing it is another matter entirely.
- As much as we might not like to believe so, WLS has become hugely commercialized - hospitals see it as a very profitable venture. Any time that something becomes as popular and well-publicized as is WLS (who has NOT seen or heard a commercial for a local WLS program?), it is easier for the program to lose sight of the individual patient, and therefore for those at risk of difficulty actually experiencing that difficulty.
- The standard "psych clearance" is woefully insufficient to identify, much less address and successfully treat, psychological issues which may have an impact on eating behaviors and impulses. That being said, even very extensive psychological intervention is usually unsuccessful, by itself, in "treating and curing" MO.
These "facts" leave me with some serious questions:
- WHY do some people fail WLS? I doubt that it is from lack of desire to succeed. I also doubt that it is from failure to know what one should or should not eat. So the question needs to be deeper - WHAT impells people, so overwhelmingly and irresistably, to eat in a way that they know will contribute to failure? I suspect that it's not just psychological or physiological, but rather a combination of these factors.
- WHEN (I'm being optimistic and not saying "if") we can identify that cause, WHAT can be done about it?
My personal feeling is that there is a disconnect between MO patients and their physicians regarding the understanding and experience of eating behaviors and impulses. In fact, this has been the topic of my Masters Thesis. Unfortunately, I don't have the answers; I'm just trying to more clearly understand and define the problems, so that someone smarter than I CAN find the answers.
There. There's my two cents' worth. By the way, I am 3 1/2 years out, maintaining suitably, but not without struggle. Ironically, I think that's what SM's rant was about to start with. I agree. They don't operate on our heads. I'm two years out, maintaining, but not without struggle, finding a way to deal with things I used to eat my anger out of and now just have to feel. My surgeon is great. I love him. His PCA rocks. Love her. My nutritionist is the one who helps me most now, though, and my behavioral therapist is the one who helps me understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. It's a whole package. But in the end, *I* am accountable for it.
Hi:
I was SO pleased to read your post. I'm in the same boat as Susan (only 2 years out, though). I'd really love to contact her. Do you happen to have her email address?
I have met "chart" weight. I monitor every bite that goes into my mouth. I WILL NOT regain!!! My greatest fear, though, is that it is physiological and not a matter of non-compliance. PLEASE tell me otherwise. I find so little information on the post-2-yr-ops other than the failures. I need some success stories. I've worked too hard at this, and I WON'T lose the battle. Help, please. I need encouragement.
All best,
John
I just posted one reason I know I was able to eat more and was gaining.I was drinking liquids with my meals. The last 2 days I have not and could not eat half as much. I think when you have lived and ate one way for 20, 30 or more years then it all changes in a few days you are going to have some temporary setbacks. That is why this site is so great, you can come here talk and get great info and encouragement from your peers....Good Luck to all ......Renee'
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