Auto-Pilor or Cruise Control?

I am coming up on the three year anniversary of my WLS. It is somewhat ironic that I will back on the table again, attending to a post-operative 'complication.' I say complication because it really is an existing problem that was complicated by my inability to take Ibuprofen like candy. My right shoulder has ground to a halt; cortisone injections and physical therapy only do so much and it time to get it scoped. I have three rotator cuff tears, a tear in the labrum, two bone spurs and a biceps tendon that is coming loose (yes, loose, not lose). I was gimping by tossing down NSAIDS for years. I still take them duing extreme episodes, but the time has come to buy another surgeon yet another car. The numbers at three: I have lost as much as 154, got as low as 194, and weigh 201 yesterday, making my weight loss around 142 w/ a BMI of 28.x Here's my thought as I hit the three-year mile marker. Most of us who are on the Web have run across the Darwin Awards, tales of colossal stupidity that are Urban Legends for the most part. One of the best is the guy who buys the recreational vehicle and drives it off the lot. He gets it out on the highway and is enjoying the road. It dawns on him that he would enjoy is more if he had something to drink, so he sets the cruise control, gets out of driver's seat and heads for the refrigerator in the back. Of course the results are predicable. The RV crashes. This Darwinian Superstar failed to understand the difference between the cruise control and an auto pilot. What has this to do with WLS? At the three year mile-marker, I would say just about everything. Here in Grad Land, we hear again and again of folks struggling and failing (yes I said 'failing') w/ WLS. One of the problems is that many did not appreciate how WLS works. Like our Darwinian Dimwit, they thought it would be an auto-pilot sort of effect. At three years either you are succeeding w/ WLS or you are already in a ditch somewhere w/ your tires in the air. The successful learned that WLS is like power steering, power brakes, cruise control, etc., that it enables them to control a mechanism that previously was beyond their ability. How do we say it so often? "It's a tool!" The controls are within our reach, but we still have to attend to them. You can build a vehicle with all the amenities that one can imagine and engineer, but there is nothing like an attentive driver to keep it on the road. I will never be normal. I will never be able to turn around and just let this thing take care of itself. And if we had a lick of sense, we would realize that most of the svelte among us have to do the same thing. Today is a new day to pay attention to road. It is not straight, nor is it always smooth. When events occur, we have to adjust. If we get off the road, we have to find a path back on to the main road. But more than anything else, we have to pay attention to the road we are on. We can never, and I repeat never, simply assume this machine drives itself. If you see me in a ditch w/ my tires in the air, remind me of this post. Nowhere Man/Ph/Jay

I hope you put this on your profile. Very good commentary, Jay. The journey IS a road and it isn't always smooth, but we can never go on auto pilot or we will crash and burn. I'm still on the road, althrough I swerve occasionally (talking on the cell phone probably LOL) and I'm still losing and have a bunch of loose skin, but what a remarkable journey it has been so far and continues to be. I love the freedom of movement the best and the new confidence. Best of all I love NOT taking the meds for prior problems and seeing those problems disolve into "thin" air. Good luck on your rotator cuff surgery coming up. Pat

Jay, I totally agree with you. When we are early post-op, we lost weight regardless of what we ate or did. Of course those days are gone. I hear postops all the time say, "I just want to eat like a normal person." But as you pointed out, we are not normal and never will be. And it should be noted that the average American is overweight because of poor choices, and also under-exercised. Let's all work on keeping our eyes on the road. That's one of the reasons I weigh every single day, I don't want to get too far off the path. Thanks for the analogy. Connie PS, good luck on your surgery.

Jay You said it so much better than I ever could. That is why I'm putting your words on my profile, verbatim, in the hopes that any newbies who are surfing the profiles, trying to understand the whole process, will read it and heed it. Thanks, Carole

I guess I could have cross-posted this to the Main Board, but the doe-eyed crew on the MB are so full of dreams of thinness, and have little use for the perspective of the Grads, let alone those of the one known as the Curmudgeon. WLS simply changes the rules of the road; it does not abolish Road nor rules all together. Jay

Jay - Thanks for your inspiring, eye-opening post. I have to tell you that although I spend most of my time on the MB and the MD board, I am in no way "doe-eyed" about this tool. Yes, I know it's a tool, and yes, I know I have to make it work. I have a lot of respect/use for the Grads, as well as newbies, who sometimes offer a fresh perspective. My weight has always been and will always be a "problem." Unfortunately, my surgeon couldn't operate on my brain, too, although I gladly would've paid extra. I will never be what the world considers thin, but in my world, all I want is healthy, and I'm definitely on my way! Thanks again for the insight. Feel free to post on the MB, I know there are others who would welcome it. Thanks, Teresa - lap rny 8/2/05 - 370/236/170

Good points.

Did I ever appreciate this post! Before wls, I read everything I could get my hands on, lurked on the main board, went to support meetings, etc., and in essence heard this message (although not as well put!)--however, I really don't believe until you've lived it AS A GRAD can you truly get it. In my first year, I was very, very compliant and had great results. I by no means felt superior or smug or unaware of future pitfalls, but I really thought I'd "gotten it" and would just keep doing what I was doing (making good food choices almost always, never overeating, staying faithful to exercise) forever. It's so easy to be delusional when the weight is coming off so steadily, even after it slows down. Now that I'm almost 2 years post-op, I've experienced how easy it is to get lazy &/or complacent with my eating and thinking. NOW I "get it"! I have times that I rebel or go into denial, and I pay for it on the scale. For the most part, I've learned what works for me, and I most certainly know that when I eat crap, I feel like crap; and when I don't get in my workouts, I can't eat as much, plus I feel sluggish. I'm saving your post--definitely a keeper. Thanks! Jo 295/155ish (at goal)

Excellent Post, Jay! Glad you shared it with the main board. The reality of all of this is that WLS will get weight off ya but to keep it off takes alot of fortitude, determination, self-monitoring and just plain hard work. I'm only 14 months post-op and the journey hasn't been smooth sailing by any stretch of the imaginationfor me and I worked damn hard to get here. I'd really like to stay here and I'm trying not to take anything for granted. My hubby will be 2 years post-op next month and I know he has to watch it too. (There was the 10 lb gain in there last year... it was called the saga of the "1000 calorie protein shake" ... he needed to learn the difference in calories from a couple of level TBSPs of peanut butter to a big old honking heaping ice cream scoop worth.) LOL! Thank you for you post! Kathy

That was awesome! You brought tears to my eyes! Its such a great visualization that you presented and it really hits home. This wasn't the easy way out for me, that's for sure~it takes work! I screw up all of the time, but its what I do about my screw ups that keeps on the right path. Hold on to these words somewhere b/c I have a feeling a few of us (especially me!) might need to read them from time to time! Thanks! Tracy B 328/150 5'9"