So Bummed!!

Ok so me and the fam (my DH, my angel, my dad, stepmom, and step brother) all went to Florida for a weeks vacation, DH and I took our son to Disney for 2 days and all that was great one day we even went to Daytona Beach. Had sooo much fun!! The trip was great, but now that we are home I got our pics back and OMG!!! I looked terrible!! I've lost 155 pounds so far and I love the way I look, but good grief... in our home video and those pics we took.... I look scary!! I know I know I sound pathetic!! But I really am proud of how far I have come but I just thought I looked better than that...My mom tried to tell me not to worry it is just all my extra skin, which does make me feel a little better but not really, I mean I don't have enough money for plastics so that's not going to be happening anytime soon. I guess I'm just going through a down phase I DON'T KNOW!! It's just, before I left I had a great feeling of confidence and now I'm feeling so low I've wanted to eat and eat since I seen those pics....and I know that is not the thing to do so everytime I feel that way I try to go outside and do something physical, or even just start cleaning the house, anyting to get my mind from making me soo depressed. HAS ANYONE ELSE BEEN SLAMMED LIKE THIS??? I just feel like I did before surgery, so depressed, alone, unhealthy, misreble.... and so fat

WOW!!! 155 lbs!!! That is terrific. I looked at your profile and you look great. My pics never look like what I see when I look in the mirror I am back to not wanting to take any pics of me. I'll be thinking I look good and see the pic and there it goes. But then again my mirror doesn't look that great. LOL.

Thanks Darla!! It helps to hear that I'm not alone!! Before I had surgery I would run as fast as my swollen ankles could carry me if a camera came out! I haven't had my pic taken proffessionally since I am post-op I would love to so maybe I can just blame this on my bad camera!

Hi Amanda! I just went and look at your profile~You are SUPER cute girl!!!!!!!! Wow, I wish you could see what I see~You look fantastic!!!!!!! I know that the extra skin can make you feel blah~I feel that way about my arms and legs the most~they just don't look that great, BUT I know that they look WAY better now than they did at 328lbs! I can't afford to do plastics either, so I've decided to try to make the best of it, pick flattering clothes, don't expose TOO much skin, etc. Actually getting a tan has helped my arms to look a little better. Also, do you do any weight training/resistance training? This has helped me so much and the best thing is that its never too late to start! {{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}} Tracy B 328/152 5'9"

Tracy, Thank you so much, I know we hear how great we look from everyone compared to the way we used to look but it's nice to hear that regardless (ecspecially the way I'm feeling right now!!) I agree with you having a little bit of color can improve anyone's appearance! I've read your profile and WOW!! You really look great! And that field trip you talked about going on with your child and you wore your swimsuit!! OMG you must have felt great!! That is what bothered me the most about my pics, my arms and legs in my bathing suit. I just wanted to cry!! I would post some on my profile, so you could see what I'm talking about,but I don't have them on my digtal cam, or on a CD so all I have are just the actual pictures, and I don't have a scanner so I'm basically screwed with these. But the other pics I'm getting back I will have a CD made so I will put some of those up on my profile so you all can see how my trip went and the nastyness (sp?) of my extra skin!! And the answer to your question of training.... I'm ashamed to say I haven't done much of anything like that for a while. I need to make a plan to get started and do the whole platuea buster and start my weights back up!! I've been stuck at 157 pounds now for way to long!! And at 5'6 1/2 you would think I would look good, but in my opinion I could be down to 150 if I really got back on track!! And it's so sad because when I started this journey I said I would be happy just to get under 200 pounds, and now I'm at a lighter weight than I was when I was a sophomore in High school...is it ever gonna be good enough, am I ever gonna be satisfied ?? OH WELL THAT'S ANOTHER DIFFERENT POST ENTIRELY!!!

Amanda, I know that you feel like you don't look how you want to look and that is alright; it is a hard road to overcome when you will always have this body image of being your old weight. Please believe me when I tell you as an objective, unknown observer of your pic's and notes, you are beautiful..... When I look at your pic's I see a lovely smile, gorgeous teeth, beautiful hair (which all of us WLS folks can appreciate...) and a glow about you that has probably evolved since you lost the weight and I sense a kind, generous and caring person. Just like you, I avoided the camera for years, and even now I try to do the same thing. Once in a while a pic will show up that I kind of sort of like, and I make that pic stay on my refrigerator till I feel better about things. It takes a long time to love ourselves, especially after years of being overweight and maybe feeling like we weren't worthy of being loved (at least in my case; I don't want to put my past insecurities on anyone else, but if you can relate, you understand). You are taking a long road that will lead to a great outcome that will include looking at yourself in the mirror and saying "Man, I did good" and "I look great"...... it may not be today or tomorrow, but believe in yourself and it will be sooner than you think. I bet your family and friends already say that.... Plastics are great, and they may make you feel better about your outside self, but as the old saying goes, beauty starts on the inside and works its way out...... focus on the inside, and you will forget about the plastics for now....... Hang in there; you have "come a long way baby", and you will go a long way more...... Best of luck to you......Kim H/Merritt Island, FL 280/126

Kimberly, Well for starters I want to tell you that I'm in tears right now...not bad tears, but just that a complete stranger (well I know we are all friends on here but you know what I mean) could be so sweet and kind. Your words really touched me, and made me smile and feel all warm inside!! I will keep your words with me and save this page so that whenever I am feeling down, I can look back on this and know that it may be hard but, you are right it is a long road, and I may take bad pics, but look at the many good ones I have taken now!! Thank you so much, God Bless!!

First congrats on your amazing weight loss!!! You look absolutely wonderful in your pics. I'm so sorry that you are bummed. I can totally relate though... I went through a similar phase... and think I'm still in it. The loose skin around my middle, and other areas, is really bothering me too. It bugs me so much that I chatted with Dr. Katzen a PS from California who I met at an OH Conference. He really gave me hope, until he gave me an estimate of the cost. I also checked out a book from the library on PS, which made me cry. Yes cry... why?? Because I can't figure out why I'm not satisfied with having lost 175 lbs, am I being vain?? Does it realy matter if I don't have a perfect figure that I would die if anyone other than my hubby saw; and that my chest is not where it should be? I swore I would never have elective surgery again because I had complications with my WLS. Now here I was, depressed, still not satisfied with my weight loss, improved health; and considering PS. Then there's the price tag of it all. So here is what I decided to do... 1) whenever I get discouraged, I pull out my old fat pants and try them on. It helps to remind me how far I've come. 2) Join the local Fitness Center and start toning... I have issues there too, but I won't get into that. 3) started a journal to track every sinlge neck ache, back ache, headache, rash, you name it I'm writing it down. Also, I plan to go to the Dr. with each and every issue to get it documented in my med. record. BTW, my journal includes pictures of rashes too. The idea here is creating a medical necessity trail in the hopes that maybe insurance will consider a portion, if not all of PS. This helps to know that I working toward a solution and the possiblity of PS down the road. 4) continue with the basics, eat balanced, exercise, try to keep my head on straight (sometimes easier said than done lately) get enough sleep, and count my blessings... often. Hang in there!! Tracy A. "To attain excellence, you must care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical."

Tracy, You are totally feeling me then girl!! I hate that I feel this way...I ask myself when did I become sooo darn vain!! I haven't spoke to a PS yet and I probably won't because of the price I don't have money saved up, because I have way to many other bills to be concerned with at this time. Maybe I should start a journal (just in case) but the places that I need it the most my arms and inner thigh, I can't think of any aches and pains it has caused...I haven't even had any rashes well I take that back any painfull or ugly rashes...not like I did before surgery!! Thanks for the reply and the knowledge I'm not alone!

I know exactly how you feel. Most of us do. Especially those who can't afford plastic surgery. But I wonder if it's as bad as we see it. I ask my friends if they're embarassed to go out with me when I wear short sleeves. I am SUPER sensitive about my droopy arms, and feel like everyone is looking. My friends just look at me like I'm crazy, and tell me my arms are not that bad. They didn't even notice. (yeah right) Wait a minute, maybe the rest of the world is a lot less critical than we are on ourselves. Clothes do hide a lot -- thank God! When we're forced to put on shorts, short-sleeves and heaven forbid a bathing suit, there's a lot less fabric to hide. But I have to remind myself that what I look like in a bathing suit now is a heck of a lot better than when I weighed twice as much. I'm sure the same is true for you. I looked at your profile, and you are very beautiful. (Your little boy is darling!) Cut yourself some slack! You have done an amazing accomplishment -- an complete transformation. I remember a quote from Top Model Cindy Crawford who said, "Even I don't look like Cindy Crawford when I wake up in the morning!" Nobody is perfect and no BODY is perfect. If I can fit into size 8 pants with all this skin, that means that other size 8s could have similiar problems that I'll never know about. LOL You are beautiful inside and out --- remember that! (((((HUGS))))) Joni