Totally OT: How far apart are your kids?

My husband and I have a three and a half year old daughter. We'd love to have another baby, but really can't afford for me to stay home another five years. I'm in the process of getting my masters in education and I need to go back to work in two years. I want to make sure to get my degree because I don't want to do anything else. If we have a baby now, then it will be harder to get my degree because I'd have a young child to put through daycare while getting my degree. If we wait til I'm teaching then our children will be 6 or 7 years apart. We're torn between just having and enjoying the one and having another one. Anyone have kids that far apart? Ideally we could've had them both within two or three years, but that just doesn't seem the plan for us.

My girls are 6 1/2 years apart (11yo and 5 yo). Just like all siblings they love/hate each other.... I would have loved to have them close together because of my age as I was 27 with the first and 35 with the second... but with infertility issues, change of hubbys, it all worked out a different way. good luck and I commend you for wanting to stay home with them. both dh's and I worked opposite shift so my girls had no daycare for 3 yrs the first go around and 18 mo the second.... we ended up with part time daycare/babysitters just for socialization skills and people tell me I have two of the politiest children they know... Hugs Karen

I have 2 girls, 2 years apart. I'm happy that i had them close in age and would recommend it to anyone. I'm much older than my next sibling (8 years apart) and my husband is much younger than his next sibling (6 years) so we both wanted them to be close, and if I hadn't gotten pregnant soon enough, we would have just had one. BUT, there are definite benefits to both and things just worked out the way they did for us. The upside to having a bigger gap in age is that you'll have more time to bond with #2 when your daughter is in school AND it may be easier on the finances only having to worry about baby stuff for one. AND if you wait, you'll be finished with your degree and be able to teach as soon as you decide to go back to work. I know its a tough decision and really out of our control. Who knows if we'll get pregnant when we want to, etc. I guess in the long run, we just take what we get and turn out to be just as happy as if we had what we "thought" we wanted all along (I really wanted a boy for the second and now I'm so happy she was a girl.) So, however it turns out for you, I know you'll be very happy!

My oldest brother is nearly 6 years my senior. We never developed a relationship of any kind until we were both adults. Our worlds have always been too far apart. The only real fond memories I have of our childhood together were the times he was required to babysit me. He was a good sitter and it was the only time he would spend any amount of time playing with me. Otherwise, he had his friends and his own life to keep him busy. You have to decide what is important for you. Perhaps childcare could be a burden at this time in your life. It would be worse to bring a child into the world who wasn't truly wanted. Don't make any decisions that would cause you to harbor regrets. I had only one child. My son is now 24 years old. He never missed not having siblings and he always appreciated that I made time to spend with him, alone. Today, he is married with 3 kids of his own and he is just finishing 8 months paternity leave. Times are hard for him, but I try to help them out as much as I can. Perhaps you can rely on family to help you with your decision making. If you have support and you can finish your dreams, then you won't harbor regrets. I wish you well in this heart-wrenching decision. I understand just how tough it is. I was there in 1991 and choose to remain with one child. In hindsight, it was the right choice for me, as my husband passed away suddenly, from a heart attack, at the age of 37. Karen G

I have 2 boys and they are 3.5yrs apart. Wasn't planned that way, its just how it happened. I don't think there's anything wrong with having children 7yrs apart. I know alot of people say its like starting all over again, but kids are so fun!!!!! Good Luck whatever you decide!!!! Tracy B 328/152 5'9"

I have 3 girls. 8, 7 and 14 months. My first are 11 months apart and them BOOM! Theres my baby Jillian. I had experience in both ways, I enjoyed it both ways, close and yrs apart. Rebecca 290/144 post baby surgery 10/28/02

I agree that the closer in age the closer the kids. I have a 21 year old daughter who has 14 and 12 year old siblings but thinks she is still the only child. Go figure. My younger daughter and son have the love hate relationship but can't be apart more than a few days without freaking out. I think my oldest daughter would have loved to have a sibling close to her age.