Single or Attached

I am wondering...I was engaged but the relationship ended in 1999...since then i have been single...I had RNY in 2003 and since have lost 160 pds...the question is has anyone who is single since having their WLS became attached...I go out and have friends but never meet anyone interested in me...other than someone looking just for a good time which I am not interested in.................anyone else experiencing the same situation....it is just weird because I thought once I lost the weight it would happen...but it has not....Sonya Brooke

Hi Sonya, I've been divorced for 12 years, had RNY almost 3 years ago. I've gotten on several relationship websites---eharmony.com, match.com etc. I've met some guys but not "the one" yet. Then you have to decide when to tell them you've had the surgery, etc. Usually I tell it pretty early if it comes up naturally in conversation. I've had three rounds of plastic surgery also, so I have either scars or skin to deal with. Guys are definitely more attracted to me now, but I often wonder if they would have given me the time of day three years ago. I figure when it's time to meet someone, it will happen. I'm not going to sweat it. Good luck to you. Hugs, Connie

me too.. I've sort of given into that saying that when you aren't looking it will come around. I thought the same and it hasn't happened. Probably because I have issues with me... I don't like me... the way I look that is .. it turns me off.. how could it ever turn anyone else on... Good Luck.. I wish you the best... It will happen for us all... in it's own time.

Y'all are right and thanks for the encouragement....I am just ready for a social life and not with someone for just one night...which is usually how the men I meet are....so I don't go there u know...Hugs and best of luck to y'all too....Sonya Brooke

Sonya, I want to add this------when we are MO we tend to accept less than the best, maybe we felt we couldn't do any better, etc. Now I know I will not "settle" for anything but the best life has to offer. Don't you either---you deserve it!!! Hugs, Connie

I am single and available. I got a rude awakening after losing all this weight where I still cannot seem to attract a man. they didn't like me when I was MO, and they still don't like me now! I still get out the and have fun though. I guess being alone isn't so bad, at least not all the time. I published an ad on this thing called Craig's List and got dozens of resonses almost immediately. But as soon as I posted a picture (the same one as you see on my posts here), I got no more responses. I don't know. Men are just too hard to get and I am going to concentrate on other things than finding a partner since that isn't working for me. -=db=-

I'm in the same boat with you. Although I'm a lot slimmer. I'm still single & available too. I cannot attract a man either. I haven't been in a LTR since 1997 and its not such a big deal. I'm not going out of my way to meet anyone or date. SInce my surgery I've had a 2nd chance at life and I'm going back to school and changing careers. I have to figure maybe some of it is I'm 35, have stretch marks/loose skin and a brain in my head. Since WLS alot of relationships in my life have changed and I'm in a transition/renewal/growth period. Its hard at my age to try to meet new friends though, the loss of some friendships is hard. I do miss having a friend to go to the movies or do things with. Amy

Sonya, Boy have I ever found someone since my WLS. I posted a story on OH main board about 2 years ago which was a year after my WLS and she responded to me. Well a friendship grew into something much more and now we are going to be married this weekend. Wow seems incredible for me to even say. I waited a long time in my life to find someone like her and it's just one more thing I owe to OH and WLS. I wasn't looking for love on these boards, but when I least expected it, there it was. Calvin

I am not an expert in meeting people, never dated much and married my HS sweetheart. but from what I have observed, it seems that people meet the ONE after they stop looking. they get involved in enjoying life, doing things they love , Go out have a good time, and some one they least expect pops up. What do you like to do? or dream of doing? go do it and have fun. take lessons for something you have always wanted to learn - scuba diving, karate, photography, cooking. go back to school and work on getting a degree. or higher degree or just for learning something new. Learn who you are and what you really want most out of life. take an adventure trip with a group like whi****er rafting or kayaking. go on a cruise, join a club. Get involved in church if you belong to one. Join a book club at the library or a big bookstore like Barnes and Noble or Borders. Life is short, Live to the fullest with or with out a man.

Hi Sonya I have to agree with Connie on how when we were overweight we were willing to accept less than . Sad , but true. The guy I was dating then was SUCH A LOW Life. He was a cheat, a liar and on and on ... I met him after Jon ( the love of my life) died and guess I thought I couldnt do better. Lord he was one piece of work.. LOL I finally got rid of him, had my surgery and now he calls and calls wanting a 4th chance . I think not ....................... I have since met a wonderful man , who actually has a terrific job, loves me unconditionally , and is a dream come true it seems so far... Yep , met him when I had finally given up and met him on Match of all places . He wrote me a letter , we spent the next 3 months on line and the phone eventually getting to know each other before I would even meet him .. We have been together ever since. Dont give up ,,,, I changed what I was looking for. I used to only date tall men . He is only 5 '9 . I would NEVER date a guy who wasnt slim although I wasnt . He is stocky. He is everything I didnt look twice at as far as physical but everything I did want emotionally and turned out to be a WHOLE of everything wonderful . So again, dont give up and look at some that you might not have maybe. Love & hugs Shirley