All or nothing thinking

Hi! I just found this WLS grads site and I love the wealth of information that you all share. A little about myself....I am 2 1/2 years post op. I started at 255 and lost down to 133 at Christmas of this year. Since then I have regained about 13-15 pounds that I not proud of. I realize that typically there is some bounce back but I have found myself getting into my "old" habits and that's what scares me . I am starting back with my old all or nothing thinking. Either I do everything perfect (eating/exercising/etc.) or I don't take very good care of myself (making poor choices with food/ not exercising). The strange thing is that I really do enjoy exercising but when I mess up with food it seems like I punish myself by not exercising. I know it doesn't make good sense to most people but I was hoping someone on here would understand. Does anyone have any words of advice about how they have overcome this or any good books to read? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Mary

HI Mary and Welcome! I understand what you're saying. It seems easier when you're on a roll with proper diet and exercise to keep it going, but once you "fall off the wagon", sometimes its hard to jump back on! Leslie Sansone says during my walking tape "one good decision leads to another" and I truly believe that. It is scary when those old feelings and/or habits start to creep back in. You're doing the right thing by dealing with it right away before things get out of hand. Keep us posted on how things are going for you! Tracy B 328/152 5'9"

I think we need to get back to basics. I know it does't sound easy .I no it wont be for me, but, if I get back to protein, and easy on the carbs, maybe just maybe we can get going again. course coming here will help too i am sure. hugs

Mary, I definitely understand. I look at things at the extremes, good or bad, responsible or irresponsible, etc. I find that keeping a food journal can be helpful. I am accountable only to me for what goes into my mouth. It helps me to put things in perspective. I have it in black and white that most of my choices are OK. It helps me to not focus on the slip-ups. Let me tell you about myself. I am 18 months post RNY surgery. I have lost about 100 pounds, depending on the day I weigh myself. I cannot seem to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose. I'm stuck. Some may call it a plateau, but I see it as being unsuccessful. Have you read Paula Peck's book Exodus from Obesity? I found it refreshing to look at WLS with a sense of humor. Let me know how you are doing. JoanH

Would you happen to be an adult child of alcoholics? I have the same mindset - all or nothing. Very blacka nd white in my world. That is a tendency for ACA folks. It's difficult but you have to be constantly aware of yourself and ask yourself how much sense does this stinkin' thinkin' make? Just because I ate some rice on my all-protein Plateau Buster's plan, should I just continue down the slippery slope or move forward and stay the course? I don't think we got obese in the first place by eating rice. -=db=-

Hi, From my old ACA meeting days: My "itty bitty *hitty committe" is at work again! That is the one in my head that tells me to go ahead and eat the carbs, do this, do that! All defeating myself of course! I love Louise Hays book....You can heal yourself. How many days have I looked in the mirror and said reaffirming statements to myself? Many years of it. And off and on I still do. And yes it does help to replace the old tapes with some new ones. My latest: I have a picture of a decent size me and a picture of my most obese self in my bathroom. Each morning I look at the obese me and say "Today you are not going to win. You are not going to tempt me into eating improperly. You were a help to me before but I no longer need you. Good bye." Then to my normal size self I say something like "You are healthy, wealthy and wise. You are here again to stay. You are life, love and living. I welcome you back and I won't let her (obese one) get the better of you. I can and will protect you." Now that all of you are rolling on the floor laughing at the vision I just created, I just want to say that this has helped me when making food choices during the day. Some might say talking to myself is insane. Nooooooo......to me insanity is eating my old way and expecting the results to be different!!!!! Thank you for posting this. It has really helped me to refocus and in the morning I'm giving myself a good talking to!!! LOL Dancin' D 7/7/04 rny/lap -200lbs.

I've read some of Louis Hays. I know exactly where you're coming from. -=db=-

To Dancin' D~ I just wanted to say that this you you do with the pictures is GREAT. I am 13 months post-op and down 140 pounds, with about 60 more to lose. I am starting to realize I have 'issues' to deal with and that I need to start addressing these things so that I get my mind as healthy as my body. I really love the picture idea! I can vent out some of my anger at the old me and help to protect the new me. Thanks! ChemDoc

have you read "how Much Does Your Soul Weigh?" by Dorie McCubbrey? it is available on amazon.com I suggest getting a copy asap. It is awesome! excellent! and written by a woman wh is recovered from and eating disorder and works with people who have eating disorders. It has REALLY helped me a lot as I am moving thru so many changes. from binge eating prior to surgery to at one time doing mini binges post op and over exercising to the point of injury. I was in therapy and learned a lot but this book probably did more for me than the therapy. Use it - do the homework and learn to live life not controlled by food. great big understanding been in your shoes hugs!!!!!