when will I stop being jealous?

You may never stop being jealous. I am also jealous of those who can wear short sleeves and bathing suits. I am jealous of those who if their skin is bad can afford to have the plastics to correct it. I am jealous of thoses who get the surgey while they are young enough to enjoy it. then I look back at my old self and remember, that I couldnt wear a swimsuit at 275 lbs and I see others who are more like I use to be and know that it could be worse. I could be 275 and depressed or flabby and depressed. I could look bad in or out of clothes , or i could look bad only without clothes. Dont beat yourself up so your a slow loser so what your losing and look at what you have accomplished. I bet you couldnt have said you lost this much and was able to keep it off this long a few years ago. you look great, but me telling you and all the others on here will never convince you. look at yourself the way others do and you will know. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL !!! hugs, terri

i think being jealous is normal. we all seem to compare ourselves to the others on this board. BUT you have to do things that are best for you. If exercising makes you feel good...do it! even if you don't lose another pound. weighing 200 pounds isn't a bad thing! just remember when you were 360 and 200 pounds sounded like a long way down. and then in the comments from the others that say they can't wear swim suits or short sleeves, etc. i do...and you know what...i still have the loose saggy skin. i tried to hide it at first but i look at it this way...if i'm hot, i'm wearing shorts or a tank top. if other people don't like it..tough SH#T. if anyone makes a comment to me about it...and they have...i tell them why i have so much skin and they are impressed. so it's kindof like a battle scar! you have to be proud of your accomplishments and don't stress the little stuff. Steph

Stephanie, I love the "battle scar" comparison. I have "wing span" these days and sometimes I am horrified when I see people looking at my arms. Then I think that people would be more horrified if they saw me weighing 100 pounds more with those arms! I appreciate your attitude! Judi

Hi Diana, I'm sorry that you are having such sad feelings about yourself and in turn others whose situation is different than yours. I find that I get jealous when my focus gets in the wrong place. You have no control over other people...how much they weighed when they had the surgery, how much they lost and how fast, how much they weigh today...there is absolutely NOTHING you can do about those things... What you can do is focus on yourself. Look at what you have achieved already! You have lost a whole person off of your body that you don't have to carry around with you 24/7!!! If you aren't happy with where you are now, then focus on what you can do about it. You have this wonderful tool and you can still make it work for you! Focus on what you can change...by the way...our feelings are controllable as well...you have to choose joy and choose to be content where you are. The great thing about it, is you CAN choose! Just for today, celebrate your accomplishments and choose your feelings! You will find your bitterness and hateful spirit lifting so that you can enjoy all that you have!! Cindy

I can almost relate to what you are going through. My surgeon told me up front that I'd never fit the insurance tables because I could not have eaten enough to get that large without a metabolic problem. He said you will look and feel better at the end of your wls journey but you won't be skinny. I started my wls journey at 5'6", 410 lbs, lost down to 210 lbs and quit losing. No matter how much I exercised, how few carbs I ate, or how hard I worked to keep the calories between 800-1000 the weight would not budge another pound. It was totally depressing. My surgeon and PCP explained that I'd lost the fat and said it would be dangerous to continue to lose because I'd be losing muscle. They talked about all the bones sticking out all over my body and ask where I thought there was weight to be lost, etc. Believe me I wasn't happy to think I'd end up over 200 lbs. They said it was time to do my plastic surgery which I did in October 2005. The plastic surgeon removed 22 lbs which put me at 188 where I stay most of the time. OK so I gain a few lbs and then go on all protein until I see the 188 again. If I had other plastic surgery the scale would drop more, but I'm happy with my body as it is today. It took me a while to accept that I'll always be considered obese according to the BMI charts, but I finally decided there was nothing I could do to make it change so I had to accept myself. We really can make that decision one day at a time until we accept ourselves. Now days I love this energetic body that takes me where I want to go with no effort. I can work in my yards for hours without taking a break or getting tired. I enjoy the fact that I take no prescription drugs, my blood work is perfect, etc. I wear size 10 cotton pants, size 14/16 tops due to a large bustline so nobody looks at me and thinks there goes that fat slob. I had the surgery to get healthy and all indications are that I am now healthy according to all my doctors. The number on the scale is just a guide and we need to quit thinking of it as the ONLY thing that matters. Our bodies simply refuse to be a size 4. We can spend the rest of our lives being miserable or we can embrace our healthy body and enjoy life. I chose to enjoy life and look for the next fun adventure. How about you? Want to enjoy the adventure?

Diana, I share your frustration. I am at 160-162 pounds. Sometimes, when I see people who are at 130, I want to scream. To get to 130 would mean a) starvation b) complete deprivation of things I love that are good for me (fruit, for example) c) attention to little else in my life but food (can we say food obsessed one way or another?) and/or d) probably impossible (this isn't a 130 pound body frame). But it's so hard to not be "thin." Wasn't that what was supposed to happen at the culmination of this part of the journey? When I had my surgery at 265, I was considered a "lightweight" but had co-morbidities. I have read of others who weighed much less than me and I wonder at who would do surgery on these people. Like this is like a nose job or something... I truly do empathize with your frustration and anger. I hope that you come to a place where you love yourself enough not to be jealous. It would simply be good for you to feel good. Over the months, I have read your posts and am impressed by your honesty and kindness, I hope that you find some of that kindness for yourself. In the meantime, you are among friends who appreciate that you have good reason to be frustrated and envious of what others seemingly take for granted. Judi

Sorry I didnt respond to everyone individually but my computer at home crashed and I sneaking on at work Thanks for the responses. They really made me think!! I know 158 pounds is alot and I had ALOT to start with. I know I could still do better if I try. Guess thats the real message I got...I gave up trying. I only want to get 20 pounds off to be happy (I think thats all anyways hehe) 20 pounds is a whoooole lot less than 158. Guess Im gonna have to start trying again Thanks Diana

Glad you decided to stick around, we need you here as much as you might need us. I would hate to see you give up or leave. we can help each other, that is what this is all about..... a BIG HUG !!!!!!! Terri