Emotional Eating~Why?

So, after having an emotional eating evening, I'm wondering this morning "why do we do this to ourselves?" I don't do it often, but if I get stressed or upset I tend to emotionally eat. Well, last night was stressful and I found myself on the couch, watching Windfall and eating something I wasn't hungry for and should NOT have been eating. Afterwards I felt like crap and went to bed. This morning my tummy still feels yucky and I woke up asking myself why did I do that to myself? It's only hurting me, not the person that stressed me out, so what's the point? Why, if I'm angry at someone else, do I want to hurt myself? I guess this is the first time that I've looked at it this way~maybe I've made a breakthrough?!?!? Hopefully next time I have the urge to emotionally eat, I'll think about how I'm feeling right now and stop myself before I even start. I haven't done any counceling (yet), but maybe someone that has can shed some light on this for me. Anyone else ever feel this way? Tracy B 328/152 5'9"

I had an aggravating week with my medical treatment, and at one point I was so stressed I felt the urge to eat something bad. Thankfully, the hospital gift shop had some sugarfree candy, but I still didn't like the fact that when I was upset I ate something. I guess old habits die hard. Did I feel better after eating it? Not really, and the sugar free candy bar didn't sit that well on my stomach either. I guess if we can recognize the urge, that's a step in the right direction to stopping it. You're certainly not alone! (((((HUGS))))) your way. Joni

Thank you so much Joni. I'm glad I'm not alone in this struggle b/c I know that I'm at least semi~normal, LOL. Sorry you had a tough week~hope things go better this weekend for you! Tracy B

I have been an emotional eater since I can remember. My Dad use to bring the "good kids" candy bars every Friday. When I was old enough to babysit and earn my own money, the first thing I would do was buy myself all kinds of snacks. I had my RNY in Feb 04 and did very well until about three months ago at which point I started drinking beer and wine again and I stopped my 2 miles a day, seven days a week, walks. I have since put on 15 pounds and am scared that I'll keep going up. I know I am suppose to stop, and tell myself that I'm not really hungry, or ask myself why I want those potatoe chips, but I don't let myself think about that until I'm done gorging. I eat my junk food FAST and sneaky. Then I get soooo angry, like, Who the hell am I kidding? I haven't been to the Drs. in over a year because I am too embarrassed to do so. I want to start eating three meals a day with two snacks in between and they can only be fruits or veggies but loo****ep saying it but, I haven't done it. Don't get as frustrated as I have let myself get. Youv'e got to be strong and care about yourself enough to make the changes that are needed. (that seems so easy for me to say to someone else). I have noticed some of your responses to others and you seem to know whats right and wrong. Perhaps you just needed to hear someone say, "keep up the good work!" Cheryl

Thank you so much Cheryl! Maybe I do need to hear it from someone else. I guess I just let things get the best of me last night~it's going much better today! I hope you can get things back on track too~I know how hard it is once you've fallen off track, but you also sound like you know what needs to be done and I know you can do it!!!!! Hugs, Tracy B

I can totally relate. I have come to this webiste for help too. I am 18months post-op and have started gaining weight slowly over the past several months. I am in agony about it! However, I continue to self destruct and eat whatever I want. I am feelin lost and out of control. I need a buddy to help me get back on track. I am truely hungry much of the day. I eat to feed my stomach but also every other emotion I have. I just can't get past my love for eating. I am grazing all day long and eating lots of carbs and sugar. I dump several times a week and always feel gross. Anyone out there willing to be my buddy and coach me back to success? Jenny

This is what it's like for me.... and I had about a year of counseling before the RNY..... I eat when I'm stressed because it takes me back to a place where I felt love, albeit a strange kind of love.... my Mom was a great cook/baker... but she did not ever say "I love you" to me, neither did my Dad. We weren't very touchy and feely at all.... However, whenever any of us had a bad day, we would compensate with home made cakes, brownies, cookies and maybe even pizza. We all got a family kind of high off the junk food. We didn't sit down and talk about stuff, we sat down and ate... I mean I could eat two big burgers and all the fixins even as a young child, then have two peices of cake later that evening... no problem!! What I really needed was a hug, maybe someone saying, it'll be ok...whatever..... My parents are gone, and the rest of my b/s, well, we all live very individual lives, spread throughout he world..... But, I am learning to show myself love, and I have a DH who gives me more love than I know what to do with most of the time.... SO I know that junk food and emotional eating is some sick way of trying to feel loved, and I also know that it ultimately hurts me, so I struggle almost daily trying to be respectful and mindful of how to show myself love, and take care of my body. Food is not love... it's simply fuel! This is my goal... to accept food as some kind of gasoline, and feel my emotions for what they truely are... not using food to make me "feel" better.... exercise and spinach salads with grilled chicken keep my body healthy..... no amount of chocolate can do that!! Don't know if that helps you, but gee, I feel better!! (was craving chocolate, but opted for herbal tea...). I know it's more complicated than that, but I haven't figured out the intricate details of my food addiction... don't know if it really matters anyways... Sometimes it's hard to tell if I am really hungry or if I just want something.... those days, I make myself eat some extra fruit or protein.... that usually gives me my answer.... if I have a fridge full of healthy choices but still want something else... it's usually a good indication that there is some emotional stuff going on that I need to deal with..... But then again, so many people just pig out when they had a bad day and it doesn't seem to affect them or their waist size.... I am not one of those people... One pig out begets another pig out, which begets another...... Good Luck to you!! Laurie - minus 186 lbs!!

Laurie, what you said makes alot of sense. I know I was only hurting myself by eating junk, but I just couldn't stop myself (at the time). I need to look at food as fuel too~that's a good image to keep in mind. I'm lucky that so far if I screw up I'm able to jump right back on track the next day~could be the guilt that sets me straight I guess~but I don't want to make unhealthy choices an "ok" thing just b/c it doesn't make the scale go up up up. I need to learn to deal with my feelings instead of trying to stuff them down. I guess I'm a work in progress! Tracy B

I think your point of being a work in progress is very healthy... that's what our bariatric coordinator says too, and she is five years out and maybe a size 6.... very smart, caring woman.... it's not the destination, it's the journey..... that makes you strong!! Have a great weekend...... it is cherry season, and I can be good whenever there are fresh cherries around..... Laurie

I know what you're saying.....since I do it too!! And then I have to remind myself that I went into this thing (wls) because I was tired of feeling sick and tired and abusing myself with food. Yet sometimes I STILL do it, just on a smaller scale since I can't eat as much any more. I suppose being aware of it is the important thing. Like someone else posted food is just fuel for our bodies....nothing more. I read a post few weeks ago about a book called "Life is Hard, Food is Easy." I've come to love that phrase since it's soooooo true. And now being thin food is even more acceptable. No one looks at this tiny, skinny lady getting a candy bar from the vending machine. No one looks at this tiny women going back to the buffet line 4-5 times. I have to remind myself that I am NOT normal, never have been and never will be. I am a compulsive overeater, emotional eater, food addict etc...etc.... I was walking through the parking lot one day on lunch heading to the gym for my normal lunch time workout. I was carrying my little lunch bag of food that I'd eat after the gym. All of a sudden I thought "I can't wait till I"m done working out so I can eat." And I wondered WHY? My lunch was certainly not exciting and would be finished in 5 minutes driving back to work. Was it the actual ACT of eating that I enjoyed? Was the food fufulling some need deep inside? I had no answer but it was food for thought. Ok I'll shut up now. I guess we need to take this thing one day at a time. I've eaten good today.....so far! Take Care, Terry