When is enough, enough?

I'm just over a year out and pretty much at goal... My surgeon told me to aim for 170, absolutely no lower than 150. I waiver between 151 and 155, and have for the last couple of months... I haven't had PS although I do have a consult coming up. The skin isn't as bad as it could be but it does present some psychological problems for me... If I have any work done, I'm guessing I'd probably lose another 10 pounds from that. My question is, when is it enough? I feel fantastic, I think I look pretty good, all things considered. I'm wearing sz 8s, a couple of 6s... But I'm still obsessed about losing weight. First it was, under 200. Then it was 170. Then 150. Now it's 149. If I could just weigh 149... Why am I not happy with where I am? Okay, that's a misstatement. I am happy where I am, but I would be happier at 149. If I get to 149, am I'm going to be looking for 145? Do any of you struggle with "turning it off" in your mind?

yes it is hard to turn it off in your mind. I'm at 220 down from 420. My first goal was 200 then 180 and now I've decided on 160.. I don't know how I'll feel at 160, we'll see... I'm not at my goal weight yet, but I can imagine your situation.. My advice,, try to find some books or counseling that advocate loving yourself... My friends have said they've heard of people going from obese to under weight or even on into anorexia. I'll lift you in prayer that God send people and things into your life, to show you the way.. Sincerely, Cathy Voigt Brown

I understand exactly how you feel. My surgeon's goal was 165, but my personal goal was 150. I hit 160 and stayed there for quite awhile~thought maybe that's where my body wanted to stay, but eventually I've lost a few more lbs so I'm now at 152. I wonder if I'll be happy once I make it to 150 b/c I find myself even now thinking "wow, if I could see 149 I'd be thrilled". I'm not sure where it ends for me either. My husband would like me to stop losing weight and people tell me all the time that I'm in a good place now and I shouldn't lose anymore or I'll be too thin~I think to myself "LOL, yea right, me too thin~that could NEVER happen!" Anyway, sorry I don't have any good answers for you, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I definitely know that I'll never become anorexic b/c I enjoy eating way too much and I struggle with emotional eating on days when I'm stressed. Good Luck to You! Tracy B 328/152 5'9"

Hey Tracy. I wanted to say thanks for suggesting this book. I know I've seen it before, even tried to get it at my one horse town library but they never called. That was like 3 months back. I just went ahead and bought one on eBay. I'm glad I read this topic. I found it all helpful.

149 is a number...but sometimes we give special meanings to numbers or labels. What does 149 represent to you? What is your deep down hope that 149 will bring to you? You mention words like "happy" and "happier." Isn't that what you expected from food way back in the olden days? How do you want your life to be different from what it is right now - what would it look liike? I would bet there is more there inside that has nothing to do with food or scales. Work through it and you will have your answers.

Good advice here Paula! Thanks for making me think. Debbie

if i may i'd like to recommend a book to you that someone told me to read and it's helped me a lot! it's called "How Much Does Your Soul Weigh?" by Dorie McCubbrey. It's basically how to feel comfortable in your skin and being happy with where your body wants to be. check into that. i was the same way as you. i first set my goal for below 200...then 175...then 150. the nut said 143 is the lowest i should go for my height (5'8")...so i set a goal for 140 (go figure)...i got down to 139 and didn't like it..i looked sickly in the face. so i am happily sitting at 143-145...wearing size 6/8. i just need to get rid of the belly skin and i'll be doing really good. i don't want to lose any more weight but i'd like to be able to put clothes on without having to tuck in the skin!! Steph 350/143 (5'8")

Give yourself tme for your mind and body to catch up with each other. If you still have this later on , and you are worried about it or constantly thinking about gettin down "just a few more pounds" then find a good therapist who deals with post ops and with body image. Many struggle with it in their mind. Some get too low in weight despite warning from doctors and family. They just don't seem to be able to turn it off. Talk to your doctor and see if you can get a referral to a therapist they send their patients to. Working it all out is the first step. Finding out why you're not completely happy with 150 is another. Many post ops would be thrilled to be around 150, and content to stay there. It's when it's never enough that we need to get some extra help along the way.

Gosh Becky, I could of wrote this....I'm also dealing with wanting to lose more, one-teens sounds great and I got there for a couple of days but can't stay there. That is something I feel many of us deal with, I haven't read your replies yet but I will in a minute. Will we ever be satisifed? Hugs, Dana

I wanted to share with you what my doctor told me. At my one year post op check up I asked him, so what is my goal weight? His exact words were, "Your goal was to get healthy, you are, leave it at that." Oh how that has made such a great relief off my mind. I have lost 115 lbs. I'm wearing 8's and 6's and couldn't be happier. I think if I lost more, which I probably could lose another 20 lbs if i really tried, but why? I'm very happy and healthy now!! and that was the goal.