Kick around thought? Sophomores?

Grads, Been awhile since we had a "kick it around" question Thought I'd try one....... Most I've seen dropping by here, have heard and seen generally More info concerning WLS. Most seem to have gathered info from multiple sources, sound & not, Weighed it, Compared against conflicting information, Edited out the bits that don't ring true, And have some trustworthy information that is fairly solid. Often just admitting and understanding that it's inconclusive. Probably why a lot of old-Posties add- "That depends...." onto a lot of statements. Most here seem to be "making it," Or have a clear idea of where their personal weaknesses are, and are working with That. Have yet to see the person who's "Made It! Done!" I see 'Works in Progress' that are "Making It," with what they have to work with. *Hold That Thought*********** The very nature of OH is a constant stream of people Who are new to the "WLS Experience." (sounds like a rock group) When folks arrive at OH they are asking and exploring Not only WLS info but this bizarre Web-Support Thing. I see New folks assimilate into the "support" system and "buddy up" With others and begin gathering info. Great! Then, as people gather some info and encounter others "Slightly newer" They are delighted to "pass on" some of the new information they recently found. "Sophomore" problems seem to pop up. New information that hasn't yet been weighed against contrary views Is passed on as "complete" and "Total" to the "Freshmen." Sometimes it's mis-information that hasn't yet been Tested in any way. Statements like - "You can never eat any Carbs and lose the weight!" "Coffee, Even De-Caf is Not allowed!" etc.....etc, ...etc,... On the "support side," there are new-ish folk, without a "track record" of any sort. It's assumed the "Sophomore" is a sane and rational person, When in fact, they may not be at all. A lot of people have "issues." Having been 385lbs, I'm sure I did. Many do. I've learned more about anti-depressants from this site Than Anyone ever Needs to know! But of late, I have run across Some who are absolutely "Hooo-Haww, Daffy Duck, Hoping on head down the street, CRAZY." And as "Sophomores, they are trusted as sources of support and information, And (perhaps most problematic) Sources of Experience, even as Pre-Ops. The fact that they post and reply implies that they are helpful... Rather than Serious Kooks! ****Now, Back to the Old-Azz Grads- "Back in the Old Days" No Grads Board for the more Experienced To escape to. As a newbie here, I met an equal number of Experienced And Fresh WLS folk on the Boards daily. But, Now? Less likely to run across an @goalie or "seasoned supporter." The normal "moving on" of "oldies," is sped up by having a separate Place to drop by. Not just this forum, but the Men's and some of the others That popped up last summer. Add to that the new board format Seems to have kept a few more out as well. Blah, Blah.... SO WHAT? What effect do you think "Our" increased absence from the Board However slight, is having? If you drop by out there do you feel "out of place?" What do the "Old-Posties," do with the info that- There Probably isn't a "Right Way" just "ways" That work for some and not for others. Do we engaged the "Sophomores" who can be thoroughly wrong And even more Sure that they are Right? I am thankful for all the folks who I got info/experience from And would like to pass that on to others because I think some it is valuable. Sort of like giving your daughter a ring, that your mom gave to you. Or at least like- Telling a New Tennant - "Beware of that 2nd step, people have tripped on it for years." What do you think? If dropping by here anyway, "Should" (the 's'-word) folks At least engage the people who seem to need more info Or at least need other points of view? Or is there a case for letting a few Loonies set the tone and content Of the Whole? Does pulling back and leaving the odd irrational poster/replier To continue 'holding court,' un-questioned, Help or Hurt "the herd?" There seems to be a big swing away from actual WLS stuff And much more about what Kiki would call - "My Babies' Daddy!" posts. Less Obesity related discussions and a lot more - "(hugs) My secret sweetie," "My husband is looking at his Ex..." "I got your Back Girl-Friend!" "My relationship with my in-laws is strained..." Oddly there are "cliques" of some people who are devoted to "Clique-bashing." It's like performance Art. A whole lot of "This is how I Feel" and Less, "This is what I've Found." I don't have a clear idea if this is a problem? or just a perception? Fixable? - Not worth considering? I do see some out there posting 50 messages a day Of irrational and erroneous information as they use the system for some Bizarre Therapy. I see less and less actual perspective and experience. Nearing a "Tipping Point?" Is it OK for the Seniors and Juniors to abdicate And leave the Freshmen to the Un-Checked Authority of the Sophomores? I really don't know. I do sense it is harder to avoid accidentally Offending some no matter what is posted. Kick........................ Best Wishes - Dx

WOW what a post! You really made me go back to my early days and remember how I "almost" took every post as gospel, that is ofcourse if the poster had lost any signifigant amount of weight. Guess I was the freshman sucking it all in. today, I try very hard to reach out to any newbie that I think I can honestly help. I don't have nearly the time available to check all the boards because as we all know post-op time is much better spent elsewhere I usually only come here when I am emotionally struggling with keeping my loss. Guess I am one of the "emotional" posters too. I do belive I owe a certain amount of obligation to the WLS'ers to follow me. Kinda a pay if forward thingy. With that said I am off the search the Maryland & Main boards to see if I can offer help. Diana RNY 9/17/03 360/199

Diana, Hey Fellow "Work-in-Progress!" Many "Emotional Posters," Glad to have more who know when they Are. I come to this one looking mostly for the "I took this Vitamin, and it worked!" stories... Here right at year 3, I'm sometimes worried that I should worry more About making sure I don't have a Vit-Deficiency. Having enough "Good Times" I think maybe I should be looking for The Other Shoe to drop. Not angst, just curious and concerned. Best Wishes - Dx

Hi DX, I'm a new grad and feel I can legitimately post here now. Yay! I agree that we tend to drift more away from the main board. I know that the last couple of months, I have found the grad board more to my liking. I do think that we should respond to some of the freshmen posts but I too find the same questions being asked multiple times tedious. Perhaps I shouldn't feel that way but I do. I do believe we have an obligation to correct any erroneous information. It saddens me that too many think that they are being "flamed" if they are corrected, or they jump all over the person correcting them. Often times, I wish that each new person that signs up should receive an automatic email with commonly asked questions. I've also found the new board not as enjoyable to visit now. Maybe it's just the newness, I don't know. I don't like the fact that you have to take extra steps to get to the Surgery Month and the State board, at least on the old board (and this one) you can still just click the link to the left. I hate the new sig lines, it makes it hard to find the actual message sometimes. Some people add these really huge sig lines and it's not enjoyable to read at all. That being said, I know that I'm a "new" grad and still don't have all the answers so I bow to my "elders". I am happy to say that I'm 80% successful so far, only have between 15-25 lbs to go and I'm still working hard for those and I am changing my attitude about food. Do I slip? Sometimes, but I get right back to what I'm supposed to do if I do. By the way, your analysis of monthly weight loss percent (weight loss vs. excess weight) has really helped keep my loss in perspective. That 6 lb loss in month 10 compared to that 15 lb loss in month 2 helped me be happy with such a "low" number. Linda

Linda, Coming up on year 3, I think (right now) that being further out Just means I'm closer to some problem I haven't experienced or avoided yet. I tend to feel Less Certain each few months. Eventually I'll know that I know nothing! I don't mind the "Re-Asks" of the exact questions at all. I'm a "cut/paste" sort of guy And often those are the easiest to quickly answer with ease. What shocks me a touch, is when I drop an answer that Is older than Dirt and someone reacts like it's a Threat! Example- Some New-Op (sophomore) was recently ASKING about trying Increasingly larger portions of sweets so they could find out Their personal "Dumping Level." Couple of Pre-Ops responded that they should measure carefully So they would have an exact number of grams. I replied, with a cut and paste phrase I read 3 years ago- "Careful about intentionally testing to see if you Dump, You may just Dump, or Worse, Find out Early that you Don't at All." Now I've seen and used that exact phrase for years. You would have thought I had schemed up a Vile "Hate Post." They even had issue with the little 'wink' emoticon, And thought I was Judging them or making fun of them And Wishing Failure on them. My typical "signature" is- "Best Wishes- Dx" They even took issue that I was specifically being sarcastic at their expense. Another joined in and went immediately to the "You've forgotten what it was like!" place. So the "Re-Asks" I love. It's the "somewhat insane and openly admitted irrational" That freak me out a bit. Glad to have you here! BTW! Still trying to sort through the new "bells and whistles" of the Board. Best Wishes- Dx

Linda - just a suggestion: There are bookmark features available that, if logged in, will allow you to access boards you frequent at the drop of a hat... For instance, if you're on the WLS Grad main page and click on Bookmarks way up at the top right, next to where it says WELCOME LINDA B, you can add WLS Grads as a bookmark that can be accessed then from anywhere on OH. You can add as many as you want, including an interesting post you'd like to go back and check on later, and then you can delete it. It's seriously one of my most favorite new features. Just thought I'd share!

Thanks for the laugh ("head located int he nether regions" ), I love the way you say things!

Jane, That whole "Family relations lingo" Depends on who's using it, I think. It seems that some Know it to be silly And are tongue and cheek about it Whereas some "joining" a little later Are "Way Into It" as serious. For an outsider, It does come off as creepy. I was a night poster back when that all got started And wondered when it would pass then. It gets to be more of a Parody of itself daily. The "Don't Beat Yourself Up about it!" Is one of those issues that I go with myself. BUT!!!! I feel that sort of support should come with the- "But also -Stop it!" portion of the friendly advice. Sort of the - "Go, and Sin No More..." approach! To use the parable as an example, not a religion thread- I think there is a huge difference between - "Not Casting the first stone," And, hiring the services of the "un-stoned prostitute." I see more and more "support" that doesn't Make a distinction. There's some confusion between "Disagree" and "Disagreeable." (BTW, I was treated just as well When Obese as I am now... So there are some of us that skew that generalization) Best Wishes - Dx

Greetings to my Mississippi friend, I have pretty much stopped posting on any board here. It has become... BBB (Boring Beyond Belief).... What I mean is that I don't have time to read through the myriad of "Junk web info" and smiley faces and personal sayings..... rather, I want to read/talk about what has helped you thru the tough WLS times. "How do you maintain, Low carb cornbread recipes, exercise motivation tips, long termers and their ability to keep it off".... I need this site for inspiration and knowledge.... I don't care what your favorite color is.... and if I want to vent and be sarcastic, well then I need a place that won't cut me off... and that won't hold me to any current belief or feeling for too long... because, I believe that is how I got so fat..... by not expressing my frustrations and holding it back.... ya know.... So, I hope I have adequately expressed myself... and thanks for asking... this is what it's all about for me and my OH time.... Laurie - minus 186 lbs!!

Laurie, Great Post-PS Photo! What, did they remove some time? You look great! So? I'm coming up on mine in July... All your swelling gone now? I had a good 7 to 8 months of Seroma Land After putting my muscles back in front That I've got it in my head that this will be similar. I was in a compression Garment Longer than I was in Grad School! Hope you Feel Like a Million Bucks Cause you sure do look it! Best Wishes- Dx